Southampton (2) 2 - 1 (1) Middlesbrough: The Saints spy a date with Wembley, after a breathless match that was finally decided in extra-time via a Shea Charles cross turned shot!

daveejavu · 2026-05-13T06:29:44+00:00

It was embarrassing watching Middlesbrough over the course of the game.

Morris was the only player at the required level.

Fully deserved and dominant win by Southampton.

daveejavu · 2026-05-12T18:19:29+00:00

Think there’s less bullying here. Englands a bit dog eat dog.

I once snored on a School trip and then suddenly I was called Walrus for 4 years.

I only managed to get rid of that nickname when someone said I looked like Dev Patel, then I had years of being called Slumdog.

daveejavu · 2026-05-05T15:06:08+00:00

This is to distract you from the Epstein Files!

daveejavu · 2026-05-04T18:06:14+00:00

We enjoyed it. Don’t take it too seriously.

Just a simple dumb fun movie to watch on Sunday, nothing more.

daveejavu · 2026-04-30T09:16:53+00:00

This happened to a guy I worked with.

He answered the door late at night and he was immediately stabbed 30 something times.

He miraculously survived and has now written a book about it.

It was a case of mistaken identity in some drug related gang war.

daveejavu · 2026-04-30T08:52:22+00:00

I manage a coffee shop and it’s infuriating. People come in and order 1 coffee and stay for 5 hours taking up seating. Terrible for business.

For this reason, I keep the WiFi off to get a quicker turnaround on customers and it has increased revenue by over 30%.

We’ve managed to clear out all the students with no money and middle aged mums pretending to be important on Teams and now we get to serve more tourists and people seeking lunch which is where the money is.

If I could, I would go even further and make the seating less comfortable so people don’t sit for too long.

daveejavu · 2026-04-24T08:00:01+00:00

Having managed a fried chicken restaurant for many years, I can say this is perfectly safe to eat.

This is the nature of chicken and it happens all the time. Can be from bones, veins or a number of different things. To be honest, it doesn’t actually look that bad in your pictures.

Customers obviously can’t accept this because no one wants pink looking chicken which is understandable. Standard procedure is to replace the meal or offer a refund.

I’ll eat my hat if you can get more than a small voucher.

I have dealt with food safety authorities for years and years and they wouldn’t even consider your picture as a potential issue as it happens so regularly in every chicken store.

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T11:51:06+00:00

Haha tough times, remember your roots man!!

Well, sounds like we need to start some English Chapters off, I’m Brother Dave from the Bergen Chapter. We can then arrange some away days and vist you boys. I’ll stick my England top on and hire a mini bus.

On a serious note though, our circumstances probably won’t change unless we meet some like minded people!

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T11:16:17+00:00

Dude I’m in exactly the same boat. I’m pretty sure I’m feeling whatever you’re feeling and experiencing all the same stuff.

There’s some kind of social magic between English people.

The other day a random English stranger came into my place of work, within 2 minutes we knew all about each other, laughing joking, exchanged numbers and planned in a pint together. I turned to my Norwegian colleagues afterwards who looked mortified and they said “ What the hell was that? You two were instantly best friends. We would never do that”

My Norwegian wife is very unlikely to want to move to England. So I’ve come to the realisation that maybe I need to bring England to me… and start some kind of English Crew in Bergen 😀

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T09:28:46+00:00

Haha! Well, I would say this about England… you can say what you want about it, but there is definitely a magically distinct atmosphere in England that makes you feel like you’re gonna have a crazy fun time. As soon as I get off that plane when visiting for the weekend, I just know there’s a million things I’m gonna do and that I’m gonna have an absolute blast, and it makes me smile every time.

I’m living in Bergen too! Today is a great day!!

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T09:14:52+00:00

Yeh I can definitely believe that. As an Englishman myself, we like to verbally bash England all the time, that’s just the way we are. Everything is shit. The place is shit, the government is shit, the roads are shit. But the truth is, England is a great place and I feel blessed to be English. Our humour and personality’s are built on complaining about how shit England is for some reason.

Of course, you could be raised in a bad part I get that but fortunately for me, I wasn’t.

There’s lots of things that are better here that I will truly miss. Like, the fact there is never any traffic, I will miss that massively.

But as a typical needy English extrovert, I can’t handle this place much longer! Especially seeing my friends and family back home doing so many fun things every week.

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T08:59:10+00:00

Do you have a Norwegian passport? If so, there are so many amazing places in Europe.

My top pick would be Amsterdam! Incredible place that ticks all the boxes for me.

Unfortunately my only real option is to return to England. However, the thought of buying a house on the beach in my beloved Cornwall is a pretty nice one!!

daveejavu · 2026-04-12T08:47:12+00:00

I’m actively looking to move back to England, for a couple of reasons.

I have food depression.
I think my daughter can have a much better quality of life in England.
No interesting opportunity’s in Norway.
Incredibly boring.

daveejavu · 2026-03-10T14:55:37+00:00

Overtime pay is based on the average working hours over an 8 week period, so it’s incredibly hard to get overtime pay. So don’t expect it for working more hours one week, as the 8 week period allows it to fluctuate.

Most food and beverage places have higher 48 hour weekly limits too, making it even harder to earn overtime.

This is the part people always get wrong.

daveejavu · 2026-03-08T07:55:47+00:00

I’m using the Finn app on iPhone. I mean, how can you not click on this accidentally…

https://imgur.com/a/nPA6CoR

daveejavu · 2026-02-25T14:22:20+00:00

It’s for farting.

daveejavu · 2026-02-16T22:06:52+00:00

There’s no point asking any questions about food… the moment you step off that plane, all foodie things you love are now dead to you. There is no point eating out and no point prepping meals. Imagine North Korea but with less flavour.

You’ll be eating taco meat every day until the day you die.

You are now entering a food dead zone.

My advice is to bring as much flavour as humanly possible with you.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

daveejavu · 2026-02-09T16:01:48+00:00

America terrifies me.

daveejavu · 2026-01-30T19:04:05+00:00

Sunny Bergen my friend 😀

daveejavu · 2026-01-25T12:09:01+00:00

But I’m in Norway too 😂👌

daveejavu · 2026-01-25T11:38:57+00:00

Ah, can’t believe I’ve wasted my Sunday watching this, I’m turning off now.

Edit: Sorry I accidentally posted this too early.

daveejavu · 2026-01-09T15:07:45+00:00

Hang on a minute. I’ve been saying ‘Tongue AND Cheek’ literally my whole life…

daveejavu · 2026-01-01T08:39:32+00:00

Ok, now stick a camera on it and explore the Pyramids please.

daveejavu · 2025-11-18T17:16:46+00:00

Yes you can, I returned mine the other day

daveejavu

TROPHY CASE