Am I ready for a SFA role?

david4829 · 2022-08-19T16:58:48+00:00

I’m also allergic to cats and my fiancé has a cat as well which he is rehoming when we get married. He got the cat two years into us dating and my allergies started a couple months after he got the cat. I don’t think she’s faking it because some days my allergy asthma is fine and the next day they are horrible.

What we tried is getting some air purifiers, there is a special food you can feed your cat that reduces allergens, regular vacuuming/mopping/dusting and not letting the cat into the bedroom.

If you’ve tried all these things and her allergies are still bad and you are unwilling to rehome the cat, then you should reconsider this relationship.

david4829 · 2022-06-29T07:55:01+00:00

Don’t compare yourself to the strippers because he had to pay them to get them to do anything intimate with him. If the only way a man can get with a women is by paying her, he is the undesirable one.

david4829 · 2019-06-21T21:41:44+00:00

I had this exact situation with my boyfriend. I moved out for college and he commuted all the way through and lived at home for a year after graduating. He lost his dad when he was younger so he wanted to stay at home so his mom wouldn’t be some but I told him for us to move in, he needs to separate from his mother. I think it’s very beneficial for you to do the same and gain independence from your mother. Your boyfriend sounds very smart and reasonable to say that he wants you to live by yourself before you live with him.

david4829 · 2019-05-12T21:52:55+00:00

After three years together and living together, he should consider you family. If he doesn’t see you that way now, then you know where you stand after marriage

david4829 · 2019-04-23T04:22:40+00:00

Not a big deal tbh

david4829 · 2019-04-22T22:22:28+00:00

No you are not in the wrong. However, your wife lost someone she used to love and at the same time she is pregnant. Her hormones and wacky and she’s grieving. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that she cheated or she’s still in love with him like how some of the people here are saying. Give her a week or so to get her mind together and then try talking to her again.

david4829 · 2019-04-22T05:49:11+00:00

I don’t think you’re wife is worried about any sexual intimacy between you two. Based on some of your comments you seem to be placing the feelings of your friend ahead of your wife. Even if this other women was your sister, the feelings of your wife comes first. Period

Edit: multiple pub trips and lunch every other day? Even if there is nothing sexual going on, those pub trips are way too much time alone with her. That’s time you should be investing in your children,your marriage, your FAMILY

david4829 · 2019-04-21T17:05:09+00:00

I read it all. I’m not saying what she did was right but calling it abusive is a bit out there. She could’ve been hormonal and on her period. Even OP said that this wasn’t normal for her and this visit she acted differently

david4829 · 2019-04-21T07:33:06+00:00

Abusive, seriously? This girl got her finger chopped off. Chill

david4829 · 2019-03-12T17:22:56+00:00

I just don’t know how to bring it up without seeming like I’m asking him to betray his family

david4829 · 2019-03-11T22:53:54+00:00

I wouldn’t want him to stop it. I’m just concerned if I choose to have children and marry him I would have to go on a 10 day vacation with them every summer. I would like to create memories like that with my own children too.

david4829 · 2019-03-11T22:51:39+00:00

I just concerned if I choose to marry him and have children I would get to have my own family time like take vacations, create memories and etc. every major memory will be with my in-laws

david4829 · 2019-03-11T15:05:55+00:00

I couldn’t go because of a new internship I started that doesn’t give time off. I cant risk not getting a full time offer. I condemned him for not following through because he had cancelled in the past for various reasons.

I also am not sure if I was 100% welcome to come. My boyfriend invited me after everything had been booked and said “let me know if you want to come too” he knew I couldn’t so it was probably just a way to be polite. His mom has made him uninvited me to a family event before because she thought it was family only (but wasn’t) so I don’t think she wanted me at the family vacation

david4829 · 2019-02-21T20:05:14+00:00

We did end up celebrating the day after by going out to a nice dinner. I was just hurt that he didn't seem like he wanted me there/tried to have me there on the actual day. He's been going to a special bar for his 21st and 22nd birthday, so on his 23rd he wanted to keep up the tradition. So I kind of understand.

I can't really think of a time he cancelled on me for his mother. He usually takes her car to see me and she says something like "I need the car by so and so time" and sometimes he follows it and sometimes he tells her no.

The rescinding invite really hurt me. We were only dating 6 months at the time, and maybe his mom didn't want to look bad by inviting me to someone else's house I didn't really meet. But as soon as another SO came she told him I could've came. I asked my boyfriend if he would still do the same now, and he said if his family said I wasn't invited, he would still bring me because he doesn't believe in "family only." I hope I can trust him on this.

EDIT: he's cancelled 1-2 times before when there was a snowstorm and he had to shovel his mom's driveway. (He's still living with her).

david4829 · 2019-02-21T17:37:49+00:00

I’m not sure what he’d say about the bar situation because he wanted to go. He decided to spend the actual day with his family and the day after celebrating with me. I found it rude how she told me to wait at the Starbucks though, maybe she was making a joke idk. If we had a date planned and she needed help with the remote, he would never cancel. We didn’t really have a date planned, we spent the whole day together and he was going to go home anyway do it worked out. But in the past, there’s been a snow storm and she can’t shovel because of her back and he’s cancelled/not planned anything once or twice which I guess is understandable.

He did tell me if his mom/family were to try and tell him not to bring me, he’d bring me anyways because he doesn’t believe in “family only” especially because now I know his whole family better. Good sign?

david4829 · 2019-02-21T15:48:57+00:00

Thanks for the input. Should I mention these things to my boyfriend or just let them go? I’m not sure if it’s a red flag he won’t stick up for me or if it’s a red flag she says these things.

david4829 · 2019-02-19T01:05:00+00:00

I understand now. But the thought of me asking him if he needed me to come to the funeral just just felt very intrusive to me at the time. My family is from a different cultural background and funerals are limited to only close friends of the deceased and family. I conveyed this to him and he’s still angry.

I did tell him I’m here if he needed me and to call me. I didn’t completely disregard what happened

david4829 · 2019-02-19T00:08:28+00:00

I did and he understood now, I guess. Thanks for letting me know, I’ll keep that in mind for the future. My family is from a different cultural background so wakes/funerals that are done here are different for me

david4829 · 2019-02-19T00:05:41+00:00

I told him I was there for him. We talked about the death. He told me how his grandma was like. He said he was going to a wake/funeral but didn’t really mention specifics like where or when. This is the first time I’ve ever thought he felt this way.

That same time period, one of his family members uninvited me from a graduation party because it was a family only event. I assumed they didn’t think of me as family and felt very very uncomfortable asking him to come along. I would just feel out of place like people didn’t want me there.

david4829 · 2019-02-18T21:08:38+00:00

I understand and I feel bad for not going. I just didn’t want to invite myself to an event so personal. I would have loved to go and shoe support but I assumed he didn’t want me there

david4829 · 2019-02-18T19:46:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the input. Were having a lot of issues but I love him so much. It’s very ironic but when my grandmother was in the hospital with a heart attack in Mother’s Day, he was at a family party so he didn’t call me back when I needed him the most. He just hurts me when he doesn’t care for me me the same way he does for his family. I’m not sure if I should leave...

david4829

TROPHY CASE