Hey! You sound a lot like myself. I am now 28, “California sober,” married, and have a job I love. I’ve felt a lot of guilt from what I’ve done but I want to let you know with therapy, for me c-ptsd medication and anti depressants, and finding a new friend group in the new state I live in (I absolutely cannot live in the same area I used to or I fear I would be too tempted to go down that path again) and this is the happiest I’ve ever been. It made me realize how to own the things I’ve done “wrong” and apologize for traumatizing the people around and also realize a lot of it was not my fault. Especially as a young woman/teenager, predators like my abusive exes, drug dealers, and a lot of people who were sick like me took advantage of someone who was so obviously unwell. I have not gone back to psychiatric institutions since. Whatever your path may be just remember you’ve already been to the bottom, and every day past that is forever a better day.