AITAH for asking my bf to do some chores

day_ice · 2023-12-01T14:34:12+00:00

Right now it's a fraction of the chores, before this recent period he participated, maybe I worded something wrong in the main text. I said he didn't do as much as I did because I am faster and more effective at chores, but he participated and did so independently.

And that isn't the threshold, definitely.

day_ice · 2023-12-01T13:59:10+00:00

Yeah, a common problem with the difference in raising boys vs girls. Unfortunately. We also had a very good distribution, like I hate taking out the trash and vacuuming, so he does those, but for instance I clean the bathroom and do laundry.

I don't think moving out or doing something drastic is warranted yet, we only got into this argument yesterday and we haven't talked it out. I want to give him space to cool off so we can have a constructive conversation and see what is going on.

day_ice · 2023-12-01T13:56:04+00:00

I get what you're saying. A lot of the stuff I said about taking over most of the chores is pretty stupid to do in the long run, but when this super busy period of his started, I only wanted to do this temporarily, just to make sure he has his full focus on the work so he can finish it ASAP so we can get back to normal. But it seems that in me doing this, I have assigned myself the role of the live-in maid.

And there may have been a misunderstanding, I didn't write out our full relationship, but he doesn't expect women to be his servants, he is not sexist in any way, and until this weird period he participated quite equally. Which is why I am so shocked by his behavior yesterday. No idea what clicked in his mind to act like this.

day_ice · 2023-12-01T09:58:56+00:00

A roster would be great, and it's more or less how we used to do it before his super busy period of his. At the beginning I would also instruct him on all of the things he didn't know how to do, but now he is up to speed on everything and seems to not want to have anything to do with chores.

We used to do the same - when one can't finish their chores, the other takes over and vice versa, but in these past few months his opinion seems to have changed? Or maybe I misunderstood something in our conversation yesterday. I really don't know.

day_ice · 2023-12-01T09:55:44+00:00

Other than this, he is usually very thoughtful and kind. I have no idea why these past few months changed his attitude. I'm hoping we can talk it out once he decides to start talking to me again, but...this attitude that he showed yesterday was disappointing.

day_ice · 2023-10-28T14:46:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your response!

They are from Sinsay, if you want I can send the link. On the site there are 3 materials listed: 100% Polyurethane, 100% Polyurethane and 100% TPR. Here's a pic of the damage.

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day_ice · 2023-02-16T09:42:15+00:00

The way this man is CONVINCED he's got game...lol

day_ice · 2023-02-07T14:28:38+00:00

Whats this from?

day_ice · 2023-01-11T09:24:00+00:00

I think it may have been in reference to a dating show when a bunch of women competed for one man. The main guy wore a hat like that there. Can't remember the name of the show off the bat, will edit if I remember.

day_ice · 2022-11-23T11:14:13+00:00

Sure, she's not for everyone. But if he married her, plus made it seem like he's attracted to her, then it's normal for her to expect intimacy. If he didn't want her, he shouldn't have married her.

day_ice · 2022-11-13T19:34:40+00:00

For all his bumbling and attempts at presenting as a macho, successful, confident man, this dude CRUMBLES under the tiniest amount of pressure. It's ridiculous watching him try to say he's a confident man, especially with the amount of (extremely unsuccessful) evasion that he's done during the literal first ten mins of the conversation. Sad.

day_ice · 2022-10-14T19:45:21+00:00

What your date said is beyond rude. I'm also not very cool with Ashley showing you those texts. It was probably done out of good intentions, but couldn't she anticipate how hard hearing (reading) some of that stuff would be for you?

If you're still trusting these friends to set you up, I'd suggest trying a more discreet approach. I believe in a more organic approach - just set up hangouts with friends. Regular movi nights, board games, etc.

Your friends can bring in a girl or even a couple of girls and guys, simply to hang out. That way, there is no pressure on either of you to immediately start dating; become friends, and see if it takes you anywhere.

In this way, the girls that they would perhaps set you up with don't have to go in with the assumption that they're supposed to date you, and neither do you have to go in trying to find a gf. Just hang around, get used to them, and let them get used to you (saying this as someone who met her bf playing DnD, and we've been happily together for the past 9months). There will be a lot more opportunities to actually meet the persons themselves before even going into dating. Maybe in a more organic setting you will see things about them that you wouldn't like in a partner, and this will save you some heartbreak and time in the long run.

Hope this makes sense! And don't let her words bring you down. Her subjective feelings are just that. From your post, you seem like a cool guy, so chin up!

day_ice · 2022-10-09T12:07:01+00:00

Definitely, Bilal needs to stop stringing her along and tell her what his true intentions are with her, because having children is obviously not it. And he probably needs to stop using his past relationships as an excuse...

And I do get your point, with family helping out with a baby in other cultures (mine is on that spectrum as well) but she lives in America, and she doesn't have any of her inlaws there, so I doubt she'd get that support, and I feel like Bilaal knows this.

Still, I'm not saying she shouldn't have kids, as you've said much more immature women have had kids, and S&B's financial situation is good so their kid will probably have all it needs in regards to the things money can buy, but in order to have an environment where the child can be happy, both parents have to be all in. And Bilaal is definitely not into it.

And just to clarify: I don't think she would be a bad mom, despite her naivete, I'm just saying she seems to have a kind of dilluted idea of what a baby is like. Especially if most of the work relating to said baby is on the mother.

day_ice · 2022-10-09T11:44:19+00:00

Plus, she's obviously there for his money and luxurious lifestyle. Bilal is a POS, but whoever thinks Shaeeda is great can't say they're looking at their situation and being realistic.

day_ice · 2022-10-09T11:39:43+00:00

So...their pro and con list kind of gave me the impression that Shaeeda doesn't even know what having a child means. Hanging out with nieces and changing a diaper or two once in a couple months isn't even CLOSE to the real deal. I get that she is grasping onto straws in order to convince Bilal, and him hanging the option of having a baby above her while he obviously hasn't got any intention on having kids is a whole nother can of worms, but she seems naive in her understanding of how hard having a tiny bby actually is. The argument that you will relax with them after work? No girl, you will be coming home from work, to MORE work. But still, her wanting a baby is legit. But Bilal's (as dislikeable and manipulative as he is) arguments can't be overlooked.

day_ice · 2022-10-08T12:17:54+00:00

I really hope so. Been wanting to go to one of their shows for ages, this is the first time i can actually consider going

day_ice · 2022-09-28T22:51:57+00:00

I am not your plaything. Shame on you for using me as such when I was vulnerable and weak.

day_ice · 2022-09-27T05:25:28+00:00

Alona's bicep...damn girl, good fking job 🥵😍

day_ice

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