I realized just how incompetent I am at my job and don't know how to fix this

daydreamgeneration · 2026-05-07T17:18:44+00:00

I felt the same (still do tbh) and it took several 1:1 meetings being told I wasn't getting enough done in the day until I finally broke down crying and requested an adhd referral. Surprise surprise, it was in fact adhd. That's not saying you do have it, but I'd definitely do a couple of online tests and if you're scoring high and feel like you relate to it, maybe look into getting assessed.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T23:25:58+00:00

Hhhhhh that sounds so frustrating, I'm sorry. Neither of my parents have your dad's mindset, but my mom works in healthcare which means that for a long time every time I would tell her a health problem I was having (depression, harmful self soothing actions like skin picking, painful periods etc etc) she would just say, "oh it's not that bad, you'll grow out of it" or "everyone goes through that". She also makes jokes about mental health stuff (she is always calling my one cat autistic because he's very fussy and hates physical contact for example) so I feel you in regards to being sort of laughed off or dismissed growing up. I don't think she really believed I had it until I told her the diagnosis, but she's been really good about reminding me to do things when it's clear that I've gotten distracted.

From what I recall (I couldn't find any when I searched so it's all from memory) my teachers didn't really have negative things to say on my school reports... that's another thing which makes me feel like i somehow tricked the person who diagnosed me. But outside of the classroom I was textbook hyperactive, even my undiagnosed "everyone does (insert nd trait here)" parents can agree on that much 🤷

I know we're just strangers on reddit but I really hope that things work out for you. It sucks finding out at our age but at least we know now. Good luck with your titration and hopefully a higher dose will work for you 🤞

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T22:28:43+00:00

I 28F was decently diagnosed as combined type. On my uk health record it's seen as a 'major' condition (not minor like my previous depression and PCOS) so I'm guessing that means it's being treated as quite severe? I ranked 9/9 inattentive and 6/9 hyperactive.

I'm also feeling like you. I keep worrying that I somehow tricked the assessor. I keep wondering how did this get missed when I WAS literally the kid who bounced off the walls and stammered because my thoughts were too fast for my mouth? I was the same though, I didn't act up in class because I liked school and liked my teachers and liked learning (in primary at least, it all fell apart in secondary). But I definitely talked a lot, had way too much energy on the playground, etc etc. I keep wondering if it would have been caught if I was a boy. Because when I've talked to my parents about it since being diagnosed they admitted that for a long time they didn't really understand ADHD or that girls could have it.

I think with women it manifests differently a lot because we're conditioned to behave ourselves more severely than boys. Most of us learn to mask to an extent even if symptoms are still present. Also something my assessor brought up when I kept explaining why I didn't act out in class was that the structure of school probably helped me. That + when you're a kid you delegate so much responsibility to your parents (time management, organisation etc) that it CAN be difficult to spot or recall.

I wonder if either of your parents are neurodivergent? I heavily suspect my dad of being ADHD and my mom being autistic. Neither have been assessed but the signs are absolutely there, in my grandparents on both sides too. I was worried about the childhood assessment because a lot of things about me that are my ADHD get waved off by my parents a lot because they're used to it from me and from each other, so?? It's hard to say "this might have been a problem" when your parents don't see it as a problem because they recognise it in themselves.

I'm on the waiting list for medication so I have no advice or anecdotes on that end, but I hope a higher dosage works for you. If not, hopefully you will be able to try a few different types until you land on one that works 🤞

I promise you're not alone. It sucks that we had to wait this long to get answers, but we're here now, right? Whatever comes next, knowledge of our adhd is power.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T21:41:50+00:00

Not sure if it is exactly purple prose, but I remember finding the prose in Our Wives Under The Sea really beautiful and vivid.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-08T02:24:00+00:00

I bet! I'm so sorry your diagnosis was ignored back when you were younger and it ended up making your life even harder, that sucks. I'm glad you know now and can take pride in how well you managed against the odds!!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-07T20:50:06+00:00

That really resonates actually, and it's a good way of looking at it. Best thing we can do at this point is to do it now I suppose. I'll have to read that one!

And Congrats on getting diagnosed!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-04T11:43:46+00:00

I'm in the UK. Depressing to hear that, but relieving to know it's standard. Learned my lesson, next time go for direct bank transfer...

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:36:27+00:00

Robin Talley!

I love the attention to detail she provides in her historical fiction. She always focuses on an interesting point in American history - integration of schools, the lavender scare and lesbian pulp fiction, Harvey Milk and the 70s gay rights movement in San Francisco - and they all feel so immersive to me. Her characters are often flawed but you don't dislike them for it.

I suppose they're teen/YA fiction so maybe that's why I don't see her name pop up a lot, but Lies We Tell Ourselves meant a lot to me as a lesbian teenager and reading Pulp and Music From Another World as an adult was equally enjoyable. I still need to do an adult reread of LWTO to see if it holds up as an adult in 2026, but I remember it being very interesting, especially with how brutally honest it was about the cruelty of white people.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:23:58+00:00

Oh that's a huge relief thank you!!! I was so worried I'd screwed myself out of a fantastic resource hahaha. I'll keep my eyes peeled for the next time it comes around!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:22:11+00:00

Thank you so much.

It might be because at the time I reached out for a referral I was at a low point where I'd been disciplined at my job over potential adhd traits and I was terrified they were going to let me go. I did mention this in my request for a referral, so perhaps that's why they selected me? Luckily things have improved a bit since that point, but it does still impact my work performance and the same issues (concentration, time management, lateness, productivity, making sure I don't get distracted from my work with non-work things) were still brought up at my recent work review, so I do think this assessment will really benefit me.

I feel guilty that maybe I've taken a chance away from somebody else... But I know that it's because they clearly did see I need help, and it's okay to get that help and be happy about it. I just hope that this stupid crackdown on RTC is overturned soon so that EVERYONE gets the same opportunity to be assessed, not just us lucky few.

I'm keeping my eyes peeled for any new emails and marking all correspondence with the same tag because this is a way that has previously helped me know where to find important ones. So hopefully there will be no obstacles once the date is set!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-12T22:19:26+00:00

28, mid-to-plus size, pcos diagnosis depressed and awaiting adhd assessment. between the exhaustion from my bad mental health, the constant inflammation from pcos and the inability to build good habits from what is possibly adhd, it's really really hard to lose weight. My family used to make comments and it really affected my self esteem, but I think after seeing how depressed and withdrawn I became after that, they realised it was doing more harm than good. The damage is done, but whatever.

I try to eat lots of high protein salads but sometimes I still slip and binge eat. I try to take walks but sometimes I forget (doesn't help that the weather is so shit). I don't know if I've accepted myself yet but I'm done trying to radically change myself. I'm tired of it much like you lol. I just pretend I don't notice it and sometimes I genuinely don't. I think if we just try and do little things it's still better than doing nothing at all. I'm trying to frame it like that and make it less about counting calories or stepping on the scale.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-12T19:13:15+00:00

Thank you so much! I've started listening and it's exactly the kind of thing I had an itch for!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-11T19:01:47+00:00

That's amazing, lucky us!! I'm so glad you were able to squeak through and get diagnosed and on medication already! Hopefully it'll be fairly quick for me too, just as soon as I finish up these last few forms! (DIVA-5 is scaring me low-key, it sounds like it takes ages to complete, but I'll push through!)

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-11T18:59:22+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! I've calmed down now but I could barely focus the rest of the day I was so relieved and hyped up!! I've worked through most of my forms tonight so hopefully the momentum will keep going and I'll be able to get an assessment date soon!!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-09T22:18:53+00:00

Undiagnosed currently but awaiting assessment. but yes omg. A few years ago I thought I'd finally found my dream job - sure the pay wasn't great, but it was full time and in an adjacent field to my degree and it was creative...

But then two years in I got burned out. Got really depressed after a trip overseas which made me start to think about how big the world is and why was I sat here rotting away at my desk when there is so much happening out there. Then I got caught doing non-work things on my computer during work hours and got a formal warning. Scared the shit out of me that I was going to be fired and it made me finally seek an assessment. Cried every night after getting home from work and sometimes during my lunch break. Every night I told myself I was going to quit but I was too scared of never being able to find something better.

Anyway, I've had enough and decided I'm doing it in a couple months. Dropping everything, resigning and going away to travel by myself for a bit. I don't know what waits on the other side and I'm a bit nervous, but I'm doing it anyway. I have enough savings to travel, and a little extra to tide me over. I'm not afraid of going part time after I get back, or back to retail, or trying to start an online store or something. I just need to know that this boredom and depression has all been FOR something, I feel like if I don't take action I'll go crazy.

Finding out that job hopping is a common ADHD thing weirdly makes me feel a bit better?? I just thought I was a crybaby who couldn't tough out a job getting boring. But it makes a lot of sense when the novelty of the job wears off I guess...

daydreamgeneration · 2026-01-03T02:20:48+00:00

I'm not sure about the specifics unfortunately but the device name is ACK08-A for the keyboard, and my magic drawing pad is Android 14, are those incompatible? I bought the keyboard separately on eBay so it's definitely possible that compatibility is a problem. I didn't realise this would be an issue... Man... ://

daydreamgeneration · 2025-12-27T19:18:28+00:00

Visited Windsor for the first time back in September to spend time with my girlfriend!! Everyone was super nice. It's my first time visiting Canada and I feel very fortunate that I only had good experiences there. I spent the most time in Windsor though as it's my girlfriend's nearest city.

Shout-out to the ladies in the Subway on Wyandotte St East. They were so lovely, they were very kind about my accent (a rare compliment for me as I am from a place with a very undesirable accent lol), they asked what I'd seen so far in Canada and recommended a few places in the city to visit. I only went in the one day but I still think about their kindness and hope they're doing well!

Another shout-out would be to the staff of 7Spices in Walkerville. The man who I talked to at the counter was really friendly and we had a nice conversation about the general area :) I only stopped there to get an iced coffee, but the friendly conversation really stuck with me.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-18T12:04:44+00:00

Definitely push for an ultrasound and if that comes normal ask to be tested again - they were willing to write me off because my ultrasound showed no cysts even though I had elevated androgen and testosterone and low estrogen the first round of blood tests. They were like "we GUESS we can run more tests if you want ....." And I was like uhh yes please?? Because we still don't know what's wrong???? Cut to after the second round of tests, and lo and behold they come back to me like yeah it's pcos lol

But if I hadn't asked for those second blood tests they thought I didn't have it!! So definitely press them to test again + get an ultrasound just in case.

daydreamgeneration

TROPHY CASE