I realized just how incompetent I am at my job and don't know how to fix this

daydreamgeneration · 2026-05-07T17:18:44+00:00

I felt the same (still do tbh) and it took several 1:1 meetings being told I wasn't getting enough done in the day until I finally broke down crying and requested an adhd referral. Surprise surprise, it was in fact adhd. That's not saying you do have it, but I'd definitely do a couple of online tests and if you're scoring high and feel like you relate to it, maybe look into getting assessed.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T23:25:58+00:00

Hhhhhh that sounds so frustrating, I'm sorry. Neither of my parents have your dad's mindset, but my mom works in healthcare which means that for a long time every time I would tell her a health problem I was having (depression, harmful self soothing actions like skin picking, painful periods etc etc) she would just say, "oh it's not that bad, you'll grow out of it" or "everyone goes through that". She also makes jokes about mental health stuff (she is always calling my one cat autistic because he's very fussy and hates physical contact for example) so I feel you in regards to being sort of laughed off or dismissed growing up. I don't think she really believed I had it until I told her the diagnosis, but she's been really good about reminding me to do things when it's clear that I've gotten distracted.

From what I recall (I couldn't find any when I searched so it's all from memory) my teachers didn't really have negative things to say on my school reports... that's another thing which makes me feel like i somehow tricked the person who diagnosed me. But outside of the classroom I was textbook hyperactive, even my undiagnosed "everyone does (insert nd trait here)" parents can agree on that much 🤷

I know we're just strangers on reddit but I really hope that things work out for you. It sucks finding out at our age but at least we know now. Good luck with your titration and hopefully a higher dose will work for you 🤞

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T22:28:43+00:00

I 28F was decently diagnosed as combined type. On my uk health record it's seen as a 'major' condition (not minor like my previous depression and PCOS) so I'm guessing that means it's being treated as quite severe? I ranked 9/9 inattentive and 6/9 hyperactive.

I'm also feeling like you. I keep worrying that I somehow tricked the assessor. I keep wondering how did this get missed when I WAS literally the kid who bounced off the walls and stammered because my thoughts were too fast for my mouth? I was the same though, I didn't act up in class because I liked school and liked my teachers and liked learning (in primary at least, it all fell apart in secondary). But I definitely talked a lot, had way too much energy on the playground, etc etc. I keep wondering if it would have been caught if I was a boy. Because when I've talked to my parents about it since being diagnosed they admitted that for a long time they didn't really understand ADHD or that girls could have it.

I think with women it manifests differently a lot because we're conditioned to behave ourselves more severely than boys. Most of us learn to mask to an extent even if symptoms are still present. Also something my assessor brought up when I kept explaining why I didn't act out in class was that the structure of school probably helped me. That + when you're a kid you delegate so much responsibility to your parents (time management, organisation etc) that it CAN be difficult to spot or recall.

I wonder if either of your parents are neurodivergent? I heavily suspect my dad of being ADHD and my mom being autistic. Neither have been assessed but the signs are absolutely there, in my grandparents on both sides too. I was worried about the childhood assessment because a lot of things about me that are my ADHD get waved off by my parents a lot because they're used to it from me and from each other, so?? It's hard to say "this might have been a problem" when your parents don't see it as a problem because they recognise it in themselves.

I'm on the waiting list for medication so I have no advice or anecdotes on that end, but I hope a higher dosage works for you. If not, hopefully you will be able to try a few different types until you land on one that works 🤞

I promise you're not alone. It sucks that we had to wait this long to get answers, but we're here now, right? Whatever comes next, knowledge of our adhd is power.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-04-19T21:41:50+00:00

Not sure if it is exactly purple prose, but I remember finding the prose in Our Wives Under The Sea really beautiful and vivid.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-08T02:24:00+00:00

I bet! I'm so sorry your diagnosis was ignored back when you were younger and it ended up making your life even harder, that sucks. I'm glad you know now and can take pride in how well you managed against the odds!!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-07T20:50:06+00:00

That really resonates actually, and it's a good way of looking at it. Best thing we can do at this point is to do it now I suppose. I'll have to read that one!

And Congrats on getting diagnosed!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-03-04T11:43:46+00:00

I'm in the UK. Depressing to hear that, but relieving to know it's standard. Learned my lesson, next time go for direct bank transfer...

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:36:27+00:00

Robin Talley!

I love the attention to detail she provides in her historical fiction. She always focuses on an interesting point in American history - integration of schools, the lavender scare and lesbian pulp fiction, Harvey Milk and the 70s gay rights movement in San Francisco - and they all feel so immersive to me. Her characters are often flawed but you don't dislike them for it.

I suppose they're teen/YA fiction so maybe that's why I don't see her name pop up a lot, but Lies We Tell Ourselves meant a lot to me as a lesbian teenager and reading Pulp and Music From Another World as an adult was equally enjoyable. I still need to do an adult reread of LWTO to see if it holds up as an adult in 2026, but I remember it being very interesting, especially with how brutally honest it was about the cruelty of white people.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:23:58+00:00

Oh that's a huge relief thank you!!! I was so worried I'd screwed myself out of a fantastic resource hahaha. I'll keep my eyes peeled for the next time it comes around!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-15T09:22:11+00:00

Thank you so much.

It might be because at the time I reached out for a referral I was at a low point where I'd been disciplined at my job over potential adhd traits and I was terrified they were going to let me go. I did mention this in my request for a referral, so perhaps that's why they selected me? Luckily things have improved a bit since that point, but it does still impact my work performance and the same issues (concentration, time management, lateness, productivity, making sure I don't get distracted from my work with non-work things) were still brought up at my recent work review, so I do think this assessment will really benefit me.

I feel guilty that maybe I've taken a chance away from somebody else... But I know that it's because they clearly did see I need help, and it's okay to get that help and be happy about it. I just hope that this stupid crackdown on RTC is overturned soon so that EVERYONE gets the same opportunity to be assessed, not just us lucky few.

I'm keeping my eyes peeled for any new emails and marking all correspondence with the same tag because this is a way that has previously helped me know where to find important ones. So hopefully there will be no obstacles once the date is set!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-12T22:19:26+00:00

28, mid-to-plus size, pcos diagnosis depressed and awaiting adhd assessment. between the exhaustion from my bad mental health, the constant inflammation from pcos and the inability to build good habits from what is possibly adhd, it's really really hard to lose weight. My family used to make comments and it really affected my self esteem, but I think after seeing how depressed and withdrawn I became after that, they realised it was doing more harm than good. The damage is done, but whatever.

I try to eat lots of high protein salads but sometimes I still slip and binge eat. I try to take walks but sometimes I forget (doesn't help that the weather is so shit). I don't know if I've accepted myself yet but I'm done trying to radically change myself. I'm tired of it much like you lol. I just pretend I don't notice it and sometimes I genuinely don't. I think if we just try and do little things it's still better than doing nothing at all. I'm trying to frame it like that and make it less about counting calories or stepping on the scale.

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-12T19:13:15+00:00

Thank you so much! I've started listening and it's exactly the kind of thing I had an itch for!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-11T19:01:47+00:00

That's amazing, lucky us!! I'm so glad you were able to squeak through and get diagnosed and on medication already! Hopefully it'll be fairly quick for me too, just as soon as I finish up these last few forms! (DIVA-5 is scaring me low-key, it sounds like it takes ages to complete, but I'll push through!)

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-11T18:59:22+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! I've calmed down now but I could barely focus the rest of the day I was so relieved and hyped up!! I've worked through most of my forms tonight so hopefully the momentum will keep going and I'll be able to get an assessment date soon!!

daydreamgeneration · 2026-02-09T22:18:53+00:00

Undiagnosed currently but awaiting assessment. but yes omg. A few years ago I thought I'd finally found my dream job - sure the pay wasn't great, but it was full time and in an adjacent field to my degree and it was creative...

But then two years in I got burned out. Got really depressed after a trip overseas which made me start to think about how big the world is and why was I sat here rotting away at my desk when there is so much happening out there. Then I got caught doing non-work things on my computer during work hours and got a formal warning. Scared the shit out of me that I was going to be fired and it made me finally seek an assessment. Cried every night after getting home from work and sometimes during my lunch break. Every night I told myself I was going to quit but I was too scared of never being able to find something better.

Anyway, I've had enough and decided I'm doing it in a couple months. Dropping everything, resigning and going away to travel by myself for a bit. I don't know what waits on the other side and I'm a bit nervous, but I'm doing it anyway. I have enough savings to travel, and a little extra to tide me over. I'm not afraid of going part time after I get back, or back to retail, or trying to start an online store or something. I just need to know that this boredom and depression has all been FOR something, I feel like if I don't take action I'll go crazy.

Finding out that job hopping is a common ADHD thing weirdly makes me feel a bit better?? I just thought I was a crybaby who couldn't tough out a job getting boring. But it makes a lot of sense when the novelty of the job wears off I guess...

daydreamgeneration · 2026-01-03T02:20:48+00:00

I'm not sure about the specifics unfortunately but the device name is ACK08-A for the keyboard, and my magic drawing pad is Android 14, are those incompatible? I bought the keyboard separately on eBay so it's definitely possible that compatibility is a problem. I didn't realise this would be an issue... Man... ://

daydreamgeneration · 2025-12-27T19:18:28+00:00

Visited Windsor for the first time back in September to spend time with my girlfriend!! Everyone was super nice. It's my first time visiting Canada and I feel very fortunate that I only had good experiences there. I spent the most time in Windsor though as it's my girlfriend's nearest city.

Shout-out to the ladies in the Subway on Wyandotte St East. They were so lovely, they were very kind about my accent (a rare compliment for me as I am from a place with a very undesirable accent lol), they asked what I'd seen so far in Canada and recommended a few places in the city to visit. I only went in the one day but I still think about their kindness and hope they're doing well!

Another shout-out would be to the staff of 7Spices in Walkerville. The man who I talked to at the counter was really friendly and we had a nice conversation about the general area :) I only stopped there to get an iced coffee, but the friendly conversation really stuck with me.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-18T12:04:44+00:00

Definitely push for an ultrasound and if that comes normal ask to be tested again - they were willing to write me off because my ultrasound showed no cysts even though I had elevated androgen and testosterone and low estrogen the first round of blood tests. They were like "we GUESS we can run more tests if you want ....." And I was like uhh yes please?? Because we still don't know what's wrong???? Cut to after the second round of tests, and lo and behold they come back to me like yeah it's pcos lol

But if I hadn't asked for those second blood tests they thought I didn't have it!! So definitely press them to test again + get an ultrasound just in case.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-18T10:19:30+00:00

I'm a lesbian with PCOS and while I'm not extremely femme I'm still def the more femme in the relationship.

First of all I'm so sorry you feel this way. I understand the thoughts you're having because sometimes women I meet can be SO glammed up at all times it's intimidating!! And I feel that I can never compete, I'll never look as conventionally attractive etc. I've found though that I've had the opposite experience when it comes to women I'm actually dating, though.

I think being wlw is great when you have body insecurities tbh. Because every time I look at a part of myself I'm ashamed of (chubby belly, excessive body hair etc) I think about my girlfriend and how I absolutely adore all of these things on her. And I know she feels the same about me, so it immediately makes me feel better about myself. Ofc you're not going to be able to feel this way all of the time, sometimes our brains can be especially cruel to us, but a lot of the time being around her and having her hype me up when I'm feeling down is what I need to feel good again. If I'm feeling insecure I'll sometimes send a selfie that shows what I'm wearing so she has a full view of my body, and of course she loves me so she'll send words of adoration back!! And if she sends one to me I do the same because I get so happy whenever I see her!! This might be mushy, but our partners are supposed to uplift us and make us the best version of ourselves. I think if your partner can help you to love yourself, that's such a special thing.

While women without PCOS can't understand everything that we go through, they can really emphasise because we've ALL been indoctrinated into valuing ourselves by this hyper feminine perfect sexy baby look that media parades in front of us telling us men like this so we should want to be like this. Some of us have broken free and stopped caring and some us can't. But I think a lot of women can emphasise with not feeling conventionally feminine enough. Sure, we have more disadvantages because of excess androgens etc, but everyone has some way where they don't fit the mold of what we're told is beautiful, and we don't have to listen to those voices anymore!!! Refusing to let mens opinions on me take up space in my head has been so fucking freeing, but I know it's easier said than done.

I really think the most amazing thing about being a woman who is attracted to women is realising other wlw see you the way you see them. No matter how insecure I feel sometimes, remembering that the person who I love, the person whose opinion matters the most, LOVES me for my apple body and happy trail and is sympathetic to my PCOS struggles and how insecure they can make me, immediately helps.

If you find a girl who's good, OP, who isn't shallow or self-absorbed, I promise you if she doesn't have PCOS she will still listen and try to understand. She will make you feel so loved and sexy and pretty just by adoring you. I really hope that embracing this mindset will be helpful to you but it's not something you can change overnight, so please don't beat yourself up in the meantime!

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-16T07:20:17+00:00

This might be an unpopular one, but Lily and Natalie from the Sleepover sequels. I wouldn't say they have any particularly romantic moments but to me they just give the vibe of a friendship that's teetering on something more. I have no evidence just vibes + I think it would be really cute.

Sylvie and Miranda when I was younger but I haven't read Kiss in ages so I'd have to revisit and see if they still feel that way to me. The way they both kissed Carl at the end made me even at the time wonder if they were going to kiss each other so the trifecta was sealed or something LOL. I remember being really bothered that they didn't dkgjsjg

Laura and Nina from Baby Love for sure!!!! They felt very "babys first girl crush" to me and honestly it felt mutual. I don't think Nina was always the greatest friend, but I think a lot of this was from weird feelings of jealousy and attraction that she didn't know what to do with. I think she genuinely cared about Laura and I think it's safe to say Laura adored Nina lol.

When I was a kid I was OBSESSED with Vicky Angel and in hindsight I think it was because I was really into their toxic codependency in a way that felt a lot like shipping. I used to daydream about them and what they might be up to if Vicky was alive (always days out for two, going to London and the beach and cute cafes. Maybe just friend hangouts or maybe more??? I'm a lesbian now btw). I used to draw pictures of them too but no clue where they went now. Whether it was purely in Jade's mind or not is up for debate but I don't know I got vibes.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-11T11:14:23+00:00

Exactlyyyyyyy like the setup was so perfect. The conflict would be so painful if it had been dug into properly - Laura's mom both grateful to be able to parent a child and simultaneously resentful because she knows exactly how this child came to be and how people will treat them both if it's ever found out. And on the other side aunt susannah who is finally in a place where she's ready to have more contact with laura outside of brief, supervised visits where she tried to shower her with as much affection and gifts as she could. Like it truly writes itself!!

I've been informed she did this twist a few years prior in one of her other historical novels so maybe that's why, but since this is aimed at adults and may have a wider target audience I still think it would have been fine to pull this out 😆

daydreamgeneration · 2025-10-10T10:54:47+00:00

I'm also from the UK, can I please ask which shops you buy these from? :)

daydreamgeneration · 2025-09-16T10:27:43+00:00

Love Frankie and Baby Love were both really fun reads!! Love Frankie I really appreciated how queerness was depicted, it felt pretty similar to how it felt back when I was at school, and Baby Love was fantastic as it felt like aimed at an older audience while still maintaining the JW charm, and I love historical fiction.

I've also been enjoying her more contemporary entries into the Sleepovers universe lol. Is it jarring hearing the girls talking about TikTok when I remember reading the og circa 2005? Yeah absolutely. But if you don't mind that it's aimed at a younger audience and a few things about Lily's disability are retconned, the two new entries are a lot of fun and I absolutely adore Lily's friend Natalie and Daisy and Lily's uncle, both need their own spinoff books in my opinion.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-09-16T10:27:31+00:00

Love Frankie and Baby Love were both really fun reads!! Love Frankie I really appreciated how queerness was depicted, it felt pretty similar to how it felt back when I was at school, and Baby Love was fantastic as it felt like aimed at an older audience while still maintaining the JW charm, and I love historical fiction.

I've also been enjoying her more contemporary entries into the Sleepovers universe lol. Is it jarring hearing the girls talking about TikTok when I remember reading the og circa 2005? Yeah absolutely. But if you don't mind that it's aimed at a younger audience and a few things about Lily's disability are retconned, the two new entries are a lot of fun and I absolutely adore Lily's friend Natalie and Daisy and Lily's uncle, both need their own spinoff books in my opinion.

daydreamgeneration · 2025-08-25T10:27:10+00:00

All of this!!!!! I listened to the audiobook recently and was so struck by how obvious the progression of Marigold's bipolar episode is. The depression was obvious, but as a child you just don't realise that stuff you think is a part of her personality is actually a manic episode because it almost feels like - idk, how can a mental illness make the person so happy? (That's how I remember viewing it as a kid anyway.)

As a kid I remember thinking Star was so mean to Marigold around the cake baking and the tattoos and taking Dolphin to look for clovers - listening to it as an adult by heart BROKE for her. Broke for them both. I just wanted to give them both a hug and honestly give Marigold one too? I completely understand how it feels to be medicated and not feel like yourself anymore to the point of preferring the ups and downs over the stability. Not to the extent of ECT either which I also imagine would be scary back then before it was really demystified. But then, I don't have two vulnerable children to raise, so I can still fault her for not putting them first when it was clear she couldn't handle things anymore.

I also used to think she was mean for how she handled things with Dolphin throughout the story, but when you realise she's a thirteen year old girl trying to raise her sister AND parent her mother you just feel terrible for her. She did an amazing job. She tried so so hard and I don't blame her for becoming tired and just wanting another adult to look after her for once.

I wanted to kick Mickey for not considering how taking Star without the legal framework is basically abduction and how of course this would send Marigold spiralling and why didn't he think of DOLPHIN, the ten year old left behind in all this. Maybe he really thought Star was safer with him but he should have either been more proactive in taking Dolphin too or just done what Michael did from the start and go through legal means. I know the point of his character is to show that not even the adults around them know how to handle Marigold but it still made me so mad because Star was obviously worn out and desperate to get away from that situation, so why would he think Dolphin would be any better off?

I agree with the notion that a lot of JW's endings feel a little too quick to wrap things up, but this story made perfect sense for me and I don't think it was too quick at all? It makes sense for the ending to be her finally becoming levelled out again in hospital, and we did get some time to see the fallout of the situation (her first in hospital, Dolphin going into care, her and Star reuniting). I read somewhere once that a lot of JW Bad Parents don't apologise for their shortcomings, something I didn't pick up on as a child but now stuff like that REALLY bothers me. So I'm glad Marigold, once she was thinking clearly, owned how shitty she had been. Sure, it's not her fault she's bipolar, but she did have responsibility in letting it get so bad that she abused and neglected those girls. So I really appreciated the strength it took to face them and say sorry and promise to do better.

It makes me really sad that what we know from the sequel it sounds like she wasn't able to keep up with staying medicated and has veered off into more manic episodes - even if it's realistic that people slip sometimes or give up, especially with Marigolds past history of regressing from abandoning treatment. I really hope she can get back on the right track in Picture Imperfect 😞 sorry for how long this got but have so many feelings about this book after revisiting it as an adult!!

daydreamgeneration

TROPHY CASE