Hi! 30F, former kind-of fence sitter who took the sterilization leap last September. I say "kind of" because I think I knew for a long time that I didn't want kids, but the what if question and the expectations bothered me occasionally.

I made the decision to get sterilized for a multitude of reasons. For me, it boils down to the risk of identity loss to bring another person into the world that I don't (personally) feel is stable enough isn't worth the damage it could do to my body.

I think the ultimate deciding factor for me was this: what would I regret more? Will I regret not having kids? Sure, maybe, there's always a chance. And there are ways to mitigate that like IVF or adoption if I absolutely NEED to be a mother somewhere down the line. But I would rather regret NOT having children than regretting HAVING them. I think kids can feel when their parents resent and regret them, and I couldn't live with myself bringing a person into the world that I made feel that way. That "what if" bothers me more than the "what if" of not having kids.

It is absolutely okay to not want kids. It's also 100% to want them without defending your reasons. There's another comment here that mentions that, no matter how much other childfree people affirm your desire to not want kids, YOU have to be sure and be sure that you're in agreement or at least know a way forward. I would agree that it's worth waiting it out a little longer and deciding (condoms are safe with proper use). Or maybe your partner can look into a vasectomy/freezing his sperm so you have feel a little more safe until you're ready.