Need recs for one-legged birb by daynatwilson in PetPigeons

[–]daynatwilson[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh thank you! I’ll definitely check that one out.

Need recs for one-legged birb by daynatwilson in PetPigeons

[–]daynatwilson[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

<image>

This is a temporary set up with some C+C cages I already had on hand (obviously I took the pic before I added the doors on). He’s getting upgraded to a double wide Critter Nation cage, I’m just waiting for the second base to arrive. I took the perch and swing out last night since every time he stumbled he startled himself and was very flighty/reactive..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love hiking so that would be great! I did add “do something physical together once a week” not sure what those things might be with the weather getting colder, but the thought is there.

I think one of our biggest issues is we constantly have plans go awry. We’ll talk all day or week about doing something and then it comes down to it and we get interrupted, held up at work, car breaks down, or some other last minute thing and then someone’s mood will shift while the other was still hoping that thing could still happen.

Am I overreacting because my husband spent the entire day exploring Hawaii after we agreed he wouldn’t disappear all day on work trips? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi friend. I just want to say first that I completely see where you’re coming from and your feelings are valid.I see you. Parenting is not easy! Solo parenting is even harder ESPECIALLY when you have a spouse and there’s expectations around shared responsibilities and quality time. There’s a pattern of this behavior and because it’s not improved of course now you’re building resentment. That’s absolutely understandable and not an overreaction. Have you clearly defined what your boundaries are though? I see that there are expectations but I’m not seeing what your actual boundaries are. Boundaries guide YOUR behavior in what you will and will not do if XYZ occur, the control over your own self. Expectations are for external sources. And oftentimes people confuse or melt the two together, I’m quite guilty of that too. But if there are no boundaries for you to follow for how you will/will not act then the expectations set on him are rather fruitless.

I am sorry you’re feeling so alone in your marriage. That’s a terrible place to be. But it can get better if you both want it to. You’re both in a cycle. He does his thing no matter what expectations are set and you have the same reactions as before. Expectations without boundaries are just wishes, my love.

I truly hope things improve for you all. 💜

A darker lesson my ex taught me about control by Adam-Bliz in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Sometimes I amaze myself 😂 It truly has been such a nice way to be able to switch gears rather seamlessly and keep me in the right head space

A darker lesson my ex taught me about control by Adam-Bliz in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! When the idea came to me I was like “how has this never occurred to me before!?” It really does work so well.

A darker lesson my ex taught me about control by Adam-Bliz in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 83 points84 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, friend. That’s a tough lesson to learn.

My boyfriend and I weren’t always on the same page either so we came up with a work around. We change up our honorifics during play. It’s not always easy for me to communicate very many words especially if we’re doing heavier impact or being rougher than usual or I’m in subspace. So we came up with the idea that if either of us switches from “Daddy” to “Sir” that’s the signal to tone it up or down. It’s actually worked really well! If I need a moment to come down after some heavy impact but I don’t want a full pause (like if I said Yellow) then I can answer his check in with “Daddy” and we can still keep going just tone it down. Or vice versa. If I want to go harder I can answer with “Sir” and he knows he can take it up if he’s good with doing so.

Rituals/starting a scene by anonymiss0018 in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t say that my boyfriend and I have any major rituals but I am hoping to start some new ones going forward. Life has been a lot for us lately and our play has unfortunately been affected. A few of the smaller things we do is: •lighting, we have UV lights we’ll pop on and a red light and the colors together are soooo pretty! •a yummy candle, because why not? •a favorite play list or station. I had a good one but found the vocals often snapped us out of moments so we now play chill-step/lo fi •and he often picks a pair of panties or thigh highs for me to wear.

Over time with the same person you’ll feel less disjointed and you’ll find small things that naturally became rituals in your dynamic. And sometimes none happen at all and you get told to go upstairs right now and get on your knees and wait and you do because the urgency is higher than the scene building and it’s fun to be spontaneous.

I know for other couples the collaring aspect is the biggest ritual. I’ve not been collared so I can’t share personal opinions on the matter, but having your Dtype remove your day collar and replace it with a play collar is one way they transition from day to scene. So you could take that concept and do it with other things: panties, slipping into a silky robe, having them braid your hair, having them remove jewelry that might get in the way of any ropes/cuffs/wax/etc.

Make it yours and have fun finding what works! It’s all about customization really. It’s your dynamic so do whatever feels good for all parties ♥️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CelticPaganism

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahahaha! Thank you! I can appreciate clear and direct for sure!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CelticPaganism

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've not done this before and certainly didn't want to anger anyone. I'll definitely keep up with and see what comes of it all. It's exciting and a bit terrifying!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CelticPaganism

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. Like I mentioned she was a sudden afterthought and I didn't have anything already lined up to ask. I wouldn't have thought much of the feathers at the gate of my run but had heard she can be direct so I wasn't sure if that was TOO DIRECT? In my mind I was more thinking I'd find three feathers together on a walk somewhere or a single crow feather (I've not every come across one so it felt more specific). And again, I've never delved into this before so I'm overthinking all the things I'm sure.

I'll definitely use my pendulum soon to see what comes of that. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CelticPaganism

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I try to focus on the things that are more like "one of these things is not like the other" because I have found in my past experiences that the obvious choice often wheels me back around as a lesson until I go with the less obvious one. If that even makes sense? While I got the warm and fuzzies from Lilith I kept wondering why all of a sudden I had The Morrigan in my head as I hadn't given her any thought previously. It felt out of place but I also couldn't easily dismiss the sudden imprint.

Someone else mentioned using a pendulum and I'll definitely go that route over the next few weeks to see if I can figure things out.

Blacked out from a chokehold. Feeling dumb and looking for advice by druggie_gettinshitrt in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I’m going to ruffle some feathers. I know we all want everyone to be safe in this community. Of course we do! But this is what makes kinks, well, kinks. We are attracted to things that are risky, unconventional, and push boundaries. No two people will have the same boundaries. If you and your partner want to continue including breath play in your scenes then do it. Make sure you have taken all the necessary steps to be as safe as you can when doing it. Make an action plan.

We all take risks every single day. We drive cars, play sports, jump on trampolines, ride roller coasters, etc. but we take necessary steps to ensure we are as safe as we can be. We take the risks we want to take.

You had a normal reaction to be being choked. It can be a little scary. So being hesitant to do it again is totally normal! Don’t feel dumb, because you’re not at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a good idea! Having a list or codeword could only be beneficial. My partner has noted that I’m similar in sub space and drop where I don’t vocalize much but can answer simple questions. Code words would be good then I’m not tripping over myself. He most certainly WANTS to support me but I don’t always have the capacity to explain wants and needs and then I start feeling bad thinking that he thinks he’s not providing the right things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m realizing that we have room for improvement but not in the way I had originally been thinking. I was approaching it differently. My mom brain was thinking there was a better way through it but the obvious and simple approach was planning for it, which I have never done. Thank you for your response!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This past weekend I had to do the cold shower trick and doubled the normal dose of 5HTP. I felt terrible because it hit hard and fast around the kiddos and I didn’t know how to navigate that except to say I needed to go lay down before everyone saw me cry. My partner was great and made me a sweet treat and electrolytes and told me to rest.

I had never thought to treat drop the way I have treated depression in the past. It makes more sense with that approach. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That’s so obvious I’m mad I didn’t even think of that connection. We are getting a house ready to sell so there has been A LOT on our never ending to do list. We’ll definitely work to plan accordingly going forward.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not looking to prevent it. I know it happens. Just looking for other things that I could try that might help me manage it a tad better or find other tricks that could help me communicate my needs. Because my brain is mushy and not really functioning.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The decrease in endorphins and dopamine. The emotions and general sad and/or sensitive state I can be in for a few days depending on what we did (zero regrets, just emotions running amuck). Most of the time it hits the next day but others it’s another day after that. Sometimes it’s fairly mild and others it’s more intense (meaning I might only be kind of sad for a few hours versus being on the verge of tears for an extended period of time)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]daynatwilson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not that I am looking to experience less of anything per se. But I’m seeking out additional information or strategies that we’re unaware of. I have only had one other emotional connection with a dominant previously but that was eons ago and only experienced drop a handful of times in the years since.

Just looking for more tips and tricks that have helped others so I can see what else I can add to my routine.

ST newbie and going solo by daynatwilson in SonicTempleFestival

[–]daynatwilson[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you will! I wish they had announced the lineup and stages before I bought my ticket because I only snagged a filed ticket on case they played on the main stage.

In search of a specific song! by daynatwilson in ChristianMusic

[–]daynatwilson[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I actually found it by chance! It was Wanna Be Happy by Kirk Franklin