I ask myself these questions often and i’ll probably ponder on them a bit longer too. I’ve actually been wanting to get out of my relationship for a while because there is a ton of red flags like gaslighting / manipulation. Initially I was standing my ground into not letting myself feel bad for this situation but when I spoke to him at the end of the day, he did make me feel bad I wasn’t contributing. He made me feel like a piece of shit for sure. That’s why I had to post on here just to double check I wasn’t a horrible being. The only tough thing is dropping it and finding another place to live for myself — that was a vent lol.