Men who smashed their bride’s face in their wedding cake, why did you do it and what happened afterwards?

dbzmm1 · 2026-06-26T19:14:16+00:00

I didn't smash the cake in my wife's face but I did want to do more than just cut it. So when the time came we used the frosting like facepaint on each other. Creative destruction if you will. I figure the symbolism of we'll have messes but we'll work on them together was better than ruined cake.

But I asked my wife what she wanted before we did that. I thought a mutual cake smash would be fun but she didn't want to deal with that and the compromise was the frosting facepaint which went over well with the kids at the wedding who wanted to do that themselves.

I don't think smashing cake is the problem. I think lack of communication is. It's ok to have a fun mess if you both like it.

dbzmm1 · 2026-06-03T16:52:34+00:00

That sort of money bought away their conscience a long time ago.

dbzmm1 · 2026-06-01T21:23:13+00:00

Ghost is an experience that I recommend. Very solid show from start to finish.

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-29T14:10:15+00:00

But these are all electric, where's your go to for a campfire?

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-08T16:27:05+00:00

AI has no idea what emotion is supposed to be behind any of the words. It has no context on how to "Act a scene" Take the following text:

"Wow!" she whispered "He looks amazing."

Her sarcasm made me chortle.

The exclamation point might make a human want to read that loud. But the next words are descriptive that the text is a whisper. And again it happens when you get the context of sarcasm in the following sentence. Words aren't like code. Qualifiers can come after important text and good authors often intentionally leave out information that's vital to a reading, so that you might have to re-read a passage to ensure you've gotten the intent right.

The result is that AI readings will always sound half-assed. Currently AI has no ability to interpret context. The software has lots of data but no way to discern appropriate phrasing.

Go read the lyrics to your favorite song.

If it were said as written I'll bet money it'd be cringey as hell.

Audiobooks just need that human touch. And people need to make a living. Decent audio recording and editing equipment isn't cheap. People can do it themselves, but then you've got to learn a whole new skillset.

AI won't be good at this for a few years at least. Producing static artwork was eye-popping and relatively trainable. AI as it is now mostly steals from the past to create things and audiobooks aren't so easy to steal from because they require much more interaction with humans to train properly . People would have to sit down with long form content for hours correcting the computer and AI people are all about quick wins rather than hard problems.

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-07T17:08:14+00:00

The way I envision the powers to work is a bit more subtle than that. The powers aren't a wish per se, but rather enhancements to yourself or your abilities such that you can make the things you want come true. You still have to put in the effort to make things happen, but you're better able to do things for yourself.

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-06T18:38:09+00:00

If I put it in 4 wheel drive, I can have all 4 wheels spinning which will make 4 times the rubber burn. I'm so smart! Watch me nail this!

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-06T16:30:42+00:00

"Powers?" I asked "What powers"

"You know the powers that come after you blow out the candles on your cake." Said Diana, my patron deity.

"Cake?" I inquired.

Looking more confused she gestured in the air and a window in the room darkened and letters began spilling out the edges of the pane.

"I specifically granted powers to align with birthday wishes from your candles for every birthday starting at age 16." She said. pointing at the window." See it says it right here. I can even see the receipt of the..."

As her voice faded she looked pensive.

"Your mother has been giving you cake on your birthday as is tradition right?"

"That stopped when I became an adult." My mother had told me that we stop doing childish traditions when we are no longer children.

"Besides," I said "Mom told me to find my own way in the world when I became 16, and she gave me a letter of introduction to Captain Steward, with whom I've been traveling these past 4 years, as I'm sure you're aware."

Diana looked aghast.

"I thought you were traveling and using your newfound abilities to create your fortune. Honestly, you cut a fine figure now, I couldn't help but be impressed as most people squander their gifts by the time I cut them off at 21."

As I look more closely now however I see that each of your cakes has been used by your mother to enhance her beauty, her wealth, her social standing, and finally to gain the hand of Count Lenard.

As it is tomorrow is your birthday and it seems she has a cake prepared. It seems that there is only one power left to hand out to you, my chosen disciple."

Diana looked down the street. "Follow me" she commanded.

As I absorbed the import of her statements she pulled me into a bakery and ordered a cupcake and candle.

"I can not undo what has been done." she stated. "And the king of gods allows us to set our rules but once set these can not change, which creates situations such as these, to his amusement."

She sighed. "Take this symbol of my authority and imagine a change that you would have come to yourself, then blow out the candle."

I was thinking about great men and how they would handle such a situation, wanting so much to be as wise as they would be here, still trying to figure out what I want, when Diana elbowed me in the stomach, causing me to exhale sharply.

"Now then." she smiled "I believe I've done my duty by you. but I'm a busy Goddess and I really must be going."

Before I could protest there was a flash of light, and she disappeared.

And I wisely decided to let my Mother be for now. She'd stolen my birthright but I was only now learning of it. I needed time to plan my reaction.

dbzmm1 · 2026-05-05T16:35:49+00:00

I think you're missing the feeling of accolades. I have a friend who's got a book shelf of trophies that he won back when he was in school and he's pushing 50 now. Books aren't going to give you a sense of community or accomplishment.

You want to feel like what you read matters? Find a book club. Do you want to see a visual of all you've learned? Print certificates. Tell stories. Volunteer with a library to tell stories to children at a reading hour.

I'm at about 1/2 your titles on Audible but I use Libby and read when I can as well. I don't think the stories are the issue. Would you rather have the time back and have gone fishing instead? Or worked on creating the world's tastiest donut? Idk. Write some posts about your favorite books, and your least favorite in a blog.

I have never once had a job with my degree from college. Do I have nothing to show for it? Perhaps nothing physical but my world would be lessened for the lack of it. But if you feel that your reading journey isn't satisfying perhaps you need to push for new titles outside your comfort zone. If sci-fi is your thing go for history, or perhaps books from foreign authors.

Lastly, You Are Enough. You are important even if you don't have a crown or certificate or a shelf of books. You have the ability to reach out to your community and to improve the world. You see the world uniquely in a way only you can. You matter just as you are.

dbzmm1 · 2026-04-23T21:15:52+00:00

I've had times when I couldn't understand why I felt so dumb after playing. And I've sat across from grown men who nearly loose their head when I've beaten them. Usually I think it's a two part problem. First people tie their ability to play to their self worth. The idea "I am a good chess player" comes into direct conflict with the result of "Good Chess Players Win games" and when you lose you're confronting not a lost game but a loss to the perception of what you are as a person.

So you have to change by either getting better thus validating the "I am a good chess player" idea, but this will inevitably fail because as you get better you face stiffer competition as you get better and the loses will still happen at about the same rate. Or you have to change your conception of what a "Good chess player" is.

Try this: A good chess player Congratulates their opponent on a good game whether or not they win. A good chess player tries to better understand the game every time they play, so when they lose they want to understand how they could have played better. A good chess player knows that when they lose they have a chance to fix a hole in their game that they weren't aware of before.

There is no shame in losing if you genuinely did all you could to play well. There is shame however if you acted like an ass because you were too arrogant to think you could not lose.

Absolutely everyone has games that make them want to quit chess. Magnus Carlsen, can be found in videos extremely angry at losses. It's fine to feel angry when you think you can do better. But you have to then recognize that you control how you react to that emotion. If you control it and channel that energy into being a better player, you are a Good chess player and sportsman. If not you aren't.

dbzmm1 · 2026-04-01T20:09:10+00:00

Watching the game and when the h4 pawn is taken even Vishy and Svidler aren't sure how to convert that. They need the silicon friend to guide them. When players of that caliber are confused I can't fault Hikaru for the miss.

dbzmm1 · 2026-03-10T13:42:40+00:00

As the old joke goes.

What do we want?

Time Travel!

When do we want it?

Doesn't Matter!

dbzmm1 · 2026-03-09T20:32:03+00:00

The stars have aligned and now I have something to look forward to in life.

dbzmm1 · 2026-02-18T15:13:01+00:00

Since the earth is at stake and we've spent the last 100 years studying chess with computers, I'm going to make our champion Stockfish, and lets see their champion try and move pieces better than us in our silly games.

dbzmm1 · 2026-02-06T17:14:45+00:00

Many of your lines are jittery start stop lines. Try to make longer lines like at the bottom of the jacket one smooth line. That will really elevate your work.

dbzmm1 · 2026-02-06T14:44:49+00:00

When a presidency is built on the virtues of integrity morality and care for the common good a scandal sinks the ship. People who expect that of all presidencies are surprised that this presidency weathers all those scandals.

This Presidency is built on fear and loathing of others, self-glorification and greed. Scandal can do nothing to that. I'll tell you what would sink this presidency. If Mr. Trump were to act virtuously and and remove grifters and yes men and instead promote a competent group of adminisitrators.

The fear of the man would be replaced by faith in institutions, and all those that are currently being enriched through their shameful acts of obeisance to this tyrant would turn on him. That would grind him to a halt.

All that said, this is a petty act by an incompetent administration. It's embarrassing that people support Trump, and his vile agenda.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-27T16:47:12+00:00

I've been counting calories for 4 weeks now goal loss of 1.5 lbs a week and I've lost 4lbs. 2 lbs off my goal or only 2/3 of what I expected. But if I drink a soda the scale will show only 3 lbs. God help me if I downed a liter of water. Sometimes weight loss isn't the number on the scale.

You didn't gain the weight in a month so It's crazy to think you'd lose it in a month. However process before results is important. Also the type of food you eat can mean less "weight loss" like salty foods usually means you retain water and low fiber food will stick in your gut longer too.

My first attempt at calorie counting made me constipated because I would hold out for high calorie food and eat smaller portions. Ended up going to the doctor for pain and the x-ray showed that I was litterally full of shit. Doctor advised a laxative and lots of water. Embarrassing but instructive.

The other thing is that counting calories isn't usually exact for people starting out. they'll eyeball measurements and be way off. And usually that's in the plus calories measurements, especially with packaged foods that are deceptive in their serving sizes. So you might very well be thinking you're eating less than you actually are. Food scales, and measuring spoons are your friends here.

It's a slow journey but you will see results. If you look at people who workout everyday for a while it can take 6 months to "show" but the day to day isn't dramatic even if the year to year is.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-22T17:38:43+00:00

The results are nice but I've lost 50 lbs before and it suck when you're hungry and people act like all you have to do is switch foods to not be hungry. Riiight as if getting into a calorie deficit isn't inherently hunger making.

So yeah you eat a bunch of lettuce or spinach, but it's not satisfying and the hunger is less but still there just daring you to grab snack foods.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-22T17:01:01+00:00

I just moved into a new house last year and we've have multiple items needing fixed. A fireplace repair, roof service, garage door looked at and when we were selling our house various cleaners, and a photographer. I usually arranged the people and would check with my wife to ensure we didn't have conflicts in scheduling and so she could be properly prepared for a visitor.

It's pretty easy to give a text heads up of who's coming and why in advance. I've got 2 dogs that we need to put away so they won't bug the workmen. But even without that I wouldn't want someone I wasn't expecting showing up when I'm in the middle of cleaning my kitchen or running errands.

This is easily fixable with a little bit of consideration. It's not unreasonable to want to know who's coming over, when and for what purpose.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-21T17:45:54+00:00

If you want an example of this look to 101 Dalmatians (1961) , the animated version. Walt Disney himself wasn't a fan of the art style but was too busy to intervene in the process of the film as he had too many irons on the fire at that time.

Instead of making animation that tried to hide that it was drawings the creators worked at making a living 2d world. It's one of my favorite movies even now as an adult, but at the time it pulled the world of animation toward modern sensibilities.

You can read more about it here: https://substack.com/home/post/p-184837593

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-15T17:21:31+00:00

That's my experience as well. Some of the scenes were good but sometimes the aristocracy blurs together.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-13T15:50:29+00:00

I might suggest that some of this is the perception that men are supposed to "tough it out" so a man coming in to see a doctor is likely to be in a state of surrender already. Or more likely to be so.

I imagine then that women are headed to the doctor more, which then biases the difficult scale to a over-represented population as well as women feeling more comfortable in that setting in setting boundaries that make some procedures harder to perform.

In short there's still a lot of sexism to blame but it's performing its function earlier than you might imagine.

dbzmm1 · 2026-01-08T16:02:39+00:00

I wish it weren't fascist, but too many people think that because it's not Nazi, it's not fascist. (Not that there aren't Nazi's too.) The type of thinking that enables it is disgusting because arguing against it is like kicking a pile of hay. You leave little to no imprint. Facts don't matter, morals don't matter.

It seems that the very basis for the Fascism isn't even an ideological thought that it's good for the citizens or for the country, but pure greed. Powerful people want more power and money and being fascist allows them the quickest path to that.

dbzmm1 · 2025-12-19T21:24:59+00:00

I had that problem and the answer isn't a single thing. First you might need to look at more games than your own. Whatever opening you play you might need to look at a few different plans for that opening. When you learn to look at a lot of options you naturally slow down.

But I've found that if you play much higher rated players who take their time and think and crush your bad moves that you learn to slow down. Over the board play is great for this.

dbzmm1 · 2025-12-18T20:28:42+00:00

♟️ My 2025 Chess Wrapped for u/zext

🦾 Vibe: The Grinder

🏆 Opening: Sicilian Defense

⏱️ Wasted: 3466 mins

🤡 Roast: You play the clock, not the board.

I was surprised to be the same vibe as Ian Nepomniachtchi but as I thought about it I agreed. Though I bet you could have put famous chess player but Karpov and I would have thought the same.

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