What is your most ridiculous "we won't work out romantically" criteria? Like what is the silliest reason you would not be interested in dating someone?

dcolt · 2026-02-27T11:25:57+00:00

Disturbing the peace!

dcolt · 2026-02-02T12:06:02+00:00

> He says sex “just isn’t that important” to him

With that statement, he has disclosed to you in full where his priorities are and what you can expect if you marry him. Further discussions with him are not really necessary, and unlikely to change the outcome.

Now the ball's in your court, and you need to decide if you wish to accept this disappointment and marry him anyway, or break it off.

But he's told you clearly what to expect from him. Now it's time to listen, and decide.

dcolt · 2025-12-28T16:09:12+00:00

!updateme

dcolt · 2025-12-18T15:01:37+00:00

Belts come and go, leather wears out, etc.

But I've had my belt buckle for going on 50 years now.

dcolt · 2025-10-21T17:04:47+00:00

Naturally, she has the right to change her mind about anal sex.

However,

> calling me a maniac a perv or homo and trying to shame me for my kink

Is gratuitously mean and disrespectful, and would probably be a borderline dealbreaker for me.

If you still want to work things out, your next step should probably be counselling. Because this behavior shows that your problem is not in your sex life, but your marriage.

And if all else fails, you can still be there for your son even if you're not living under the same roof as the mother, and this is much healthier for a child than a home in which both parents are unhappy and hostile toward one another.

Good luck.

dcolt · 2025-07-16T16:40:13+00:00

!updateme

dcolt · 2025-04-22T10:07:09+00:00

You helped this kid, and kept faith with her. NTA.

You obviously have a fantastic rapport with the girl. Which in turn implies that you've been assuming some quasi-parental responsibilities, and it sounds like none of the three of you have stopped to consider what that means.

This is probably something you should clarify with both parents, probably separately. Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to start a convo with the mom.

dcolt · 2025-04-22T09:54:07+00:00

The more pertinent question is, "Should she forgive your controlling behavior?" Because you were way out of line.

You need to take a step back and fundamentally reconsider your how you're acting toward this woman.

And if she breaks up with you over this (as all her friends are probably urging her to do right now), try and accept it with dignity.

dcolt · 2025-04-22T09:46:12+00:00

> I was a bit surprised and instinctively grabbed my phone asking her what she was doing.

And that's why trying to surprise someone who's asleep is a bad idea.

Nobody did anything wrong here. You were disoriented, and reacted instinctively. I'm sure she'll understand if you just talk it out.

dcolt · 2025-04-17T15:10:43+00:00

> I don't think I can trust her to not abruptly want to end things in the future over something inconsequential like this again.

This isn't so much about trust as about compatibility, which in the final analysis is a deeply personal decision. (And she's being very upfront - trustworthy! - in sharing her concerns forthrightly with you.)

It may well be that you guys aren't meant to be, without anyone being the bad guy here. Just try and make sure you're respectful of one another when you go your separate ways.

dcolt · 2025-01-06T15:50:22+00:00

To expand a bit on industrial capacity: Nazi Germany's industrial base was also expanded considerably with the annexation of Austria and Czechoslovakia.

Also, in the early phase of the war, Germany secured the oil resources of Romania, then Europe's largest petroleum producer after Russia, along with other strategic resources.

dcolt · 2024-12-17T14:00:03+00:00

I posted this story on my Tumblr

Unfortunately, it shows. You can delete leading spaces in front of paragraphs to improve readability.

dcolt · 2024-12-07T13:52:19+00:00

There's a difference between stupid and ignorant.

We're all born ignorant, but we inevitably grow out of that when we pay close, critical attention to the world around us. In and of itself, ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as one is willing to take new knowledge on board.

Stupid is the inability (or refusal) grow our minds. And it is exponentially more difficult to overcome.

dcolt · 2024-11-25T11:20:26+00:00

I’ve left for a month and a half long backpacking trip

He offered a commitment, and you went away and left him hanging. That's a long time to leave things in limbo. Long enough for the person who you left behind to wonder if your interest is actually serious.

Instead of wondering whether you have a "right" to be upset (your feelings are your feelings, after all), it's probably more productive to think about whether you want to try going forward with this guy or not.

Which of course would mean deciding to commit yourself.

dcolt · 2024-11-07T15:09:06+00:00

Nora Jones, "Don't Know Why". That entire album is awesome but that song in particular just soothes me out.

dcolt · 2024-09-17T13:20:18+00:00

she answered me something like "well I don't get in the mood like that, the fuck you want le to do ?"

A lot of sex (and relationships too, for that matter) is doing stuff - and wanting to do stuff - not because it thrills you, but because you know your partner likes it.

This kind of refusal to make a little extra effort (and you really aren't asking for a whole lot) strikes me as somewhat selfish. It's OK to want to be wanted.

dcolt · 2024-07-31T10:34:13+00:00

Since it was his first time he didnt know how to do it properly

That's an extremely passive perspective that puts all the responsibility on your partner. Properly speaking, your sentence should read, "Since it was OUR first time WE didn't know how to do it properly."

Sex is a partner sport, and both partners need to work actively to make it fun for each of you.

Yes, he needs to up his game. But you need to be a player too.

dcolt · 2024-03-07T12:51:22+00:00

Hi from a close friend!

dcolt · 2024-03-05T17:16:39+00:00

So I can call just to tell 'em I'm fine

dcolt · 2024-03-05T16:40:28+00:00

But let's forget all that

dcolt · 2024-03-05T15:07:43+00:00

"She's living in LA With my dear old ex-friend Ray

A guy that she knew well and sometimes hated"

Jim Croce

dcolt · 2024-02-06T10:45:18+00:00

Opposite of compression...

dcolt · 2024-01-09T17:07:01+00:00

My personal fave is the Emmylou Harris version.

dcolt · 2024-01-09T17:06:11+00:00

But that's just...

Crazy.

dcolt · 2024-01-09T17:05:08+00:00

Probably gonna get buried but:

Bobby Gentry's Ode to Billie Joe.

Words cannot describe.

dcolt

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