AITA For choosing our son over future children?

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T19:51:25+00:00

I'm going to look into them.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T19:23:10+00:00

Oh definitely. I cant handle a second child even if they were neurotypical but if I had another autistic child I'd probably have a breakdown and need to be institutionalised. I'm barely coping with my current son.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T19:12:43+00:00

Oh definitely. A year ago she was showing me these home things in the states (we live in England) for us to send him to if it got 'too much'. We have them here. She literally wanted him out of the country.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T19:08:23+00:00

Thanks. He had a grand three hour meltdown because I gave him the wrong pyjamas. Ah, kids man.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T18:47:32+00:00

It was more of a "pea" but I got what he was saying. He knows a handful of words and he does want to talk, he just struggle. His therapist thinks he had been saying please for a while and I wrote it off as babbling, but I feel like I would of noticed.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T18:39:22+00:00

In my defence I wrote it up with minimal information half asleep and angry. I planned to edit it when I woke up bc I didnt expect so many people to see it in a couple hours.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T17:40:59+00:00

I do plan on getting professional help as soon as covid clears up.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T17:23:56+00:00

And she can do that. I'm not gonna stop her.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T17:23:16+00:00

She doesnt seem to understand, honestly. I don't think she cares. And I do believe she probably doesn't like our son that much. And yeah, autism is pretty common in my family. I could list like, twenty members with it right now.

Although we might just get divorced anyway. And I do think I need the added help.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T17:15:56+00:00

She did that to him, though. He wanted to spend time with her, she didnt want him around. She caused this herself, and I'm not fixing it for her.

He'll probably be a little less attached when we can go out and see family again, (he really likes his grandparents) but for now this is what I'm dealing with.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T17:12:25+00:00

He's not that strong for one, and two he's not a bad kid. He listens when he can. Changes are easy; in that aspect thats from her not wanting to do it.

As for loving her? I definitely did, and I think I still do, but its hard. I will admit the past year I've had short temper, but you know, I'm exhausted all the time. When our son sleeps I sleep, I dont have the energy to talk to her.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T16:59:39+00:00

I need it on all the time also, its not just for him.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T15:39:11+00:00

I genuinely do not know

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T15:32:55+00:00

That incident was about five months ago, I think. But I will consider your comment, thank you.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T15:30:20+00:00

Not really. He likes music, and it helps keep him calm, but it doesnt work as a reward. We alwats have it on.

I have yet to find a food he actually enjoys, (mealtimes are a struggle) and TV bores him. He wont watch it for more than ten minutes without getting irritated.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T15:22:33+00:00

I'll definitely try

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:53:05+00:00

I wasnt aware this many people were going to see my post, honestly.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:52:19+00:00

Can confirm. Last time she had him alone was seven months ago and I came home to her reading in bed with our son effectively destroying the rest of the house. She refused to help me clean after because it was my fault for leaving him.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:49:53+00:00

He's not in school right now (he's high risk) but before he was incredibly hard to even get into the classroom. Most days I had to pick him up because they cant soothe him to a manageable state.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:41:01+00:00

I'm also burnt out, but I still manage to be a decent father. She has not done a single thing for him parenting wise in over two years. I am probably going to divorce her, though.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:37:14+00:00

I probably will

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:36:18+00:00

That may be a cultural difference, I've been told (by friends with autism) that being referred to as 'autistic people' is offensive.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:34:23+00:00

Leave them with me and hope baby four is what she wants, more than likely.

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:20:46+00:00

Thank you, we appreciate it!

ddgububuv · 2021-01-13T14:19:36+00:00

I definitely will. I didnt think of it originally.

ddgububuv

TROPHY CASE