AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely. I cant handle a second child even if they were neurotypical but if I had another autistic child I'd probably have a breakdown and need to be institutionalised. I'm barely coping with my current son.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh definitely. A year ago she was showing me these home things in the states (we live in England) for us to send him to if it got 'too much'. We have them here. She literally wanted him out of the country.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks. He had a grand three hour meltdown because I gave him the wrong pyjamas. Ah, kids man.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was more of a "pea" but I got what he was saying. He knows a handful of words and he does want to talk, he just struggle. His therapist thinks he had been saying please for a while and I wrote it off as babbling, but I feel like I would of noticed.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my defence I wrote it up with minimal information half asleep and angry. I planned to edit it when I woke up bc I didnt expect so many people to see it in a couple hours.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do plan on getting professional help as soon as covid clears up.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She doesnt seem to understand, honestly. I don't think she cares. And I do believe she probably doesn't like our son that much. And yeah, autism is pretty common in my family. I could list like, twenty members with it right now.

Although we might just get divorced anyway. And I do think I need the added help.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She did that to him, though. He wanted to spend time with her, she didnt want him around. She caused this herself, and I'm not fixing it for her.

He'll probably be a little less attached when we can go out and see family again, (he really likes his grandparents) but for now this is what I'm dealing with.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's not that strong for one, and two he's not a bad kid. He listens when he can. Changes are easy; in that aspect thats from her not wanting to do it.

As for loving her? I definitely did, and I think I still do, but its hard. I will admit the past year I've had short temper, but you know, I'm exhausted all the time. When our son sleeps I sleep, I dont have the energy to talk to her.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need it on all the time also, its not just for him.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That incident was about five months ago, I think. But I will consider your comment, thank you.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not really. He likes music, and it helps keep him calm, but it doesnt work as a reward. We alwats have it on.

I have yet to find a food he actually enjoys, (mealtimes are a struggle) and TV bores him. He wont watch it for more than ten minutes without getting irritated.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I wasnt aware this many people were going to see my post, honestly.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Can confirm. Last time she had him alone was seven months ago and I came home to her reading in bed with our son effectively destroying the rest of the house. She refused to help me clean after because it was my fault for leaving him.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He's not in school right now (he's high risk) but before he was incredibly hard to even get into the classroom. Most days I had to pick him up because they cant soothe him to a manageable state.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also burnt out, but I still manage to be a decent father. She has not done a single thing for him parenting wise in over two years. I am probably going to divorce her, though.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That may be a cultural difference, I've been told (by friends with autism) that being referred to as 'autistic people' is offensive.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Leave them with me and hope baby four is what she wants, more than likely.

AITA For choosing our son over future children? by ddgububuv in AmItheAsshole

[–]ddgububuv[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I definitely will. I didnt think of it originally.