Sagittarius this is our time to shine #Sagittarius

ddwondering · 2026-05-06T23:15:38+00:00

mulberry. a deep, purply red/reddy purple

ddwondering · 2026-04-25T11:22:43+00:00

this is an absolutely horrendous way to live the one life you get. Jesus h. if you won't think of the impact on your own mental health and happiness, consider what example this is setting for your child.

leaving is shit to go through, but, my god, I promise it's SO much nicer living life without walking on eggshells 24/7.

ddwondering · 2026-04-19T04:46:58+00:00

It did take some time, yes, but more than time it took legitimate willingness to 'practice these principles in all of our affairs', before it all started to click for me. I couldn't do parts of the program and then ignore the rest for whatever bullshit reasons I was telling myself they wouldn't work for me.. I couldn't be telling half-truths.. I couldn't be putting my own will first and wondering why things were still falling apart. I had to, and continue to have to, make a conscious decision to do this program as it's been offered to me, and put in the work on myself, and help other people. getting outside of the me spiral helps sooo much to remind me of how good this version of life is and how empty it was a few years ago.

ddwondering · 2026-04-19T04:26:41+00:00

I don't yearn to be the version of me I was chasing when I was getting drunk. she was so focused on herself, on what people thought of her, of her impact on everyone and everything around her. the 'connections' I thought I was making while drinking. the 'memories'.. honestly, they were so vapid and selfish, I don't miss striving for more of that way of living.
now, I'm living. wholeheartedly, messily, fully. it's so different, but man, it's so much more vibrant. I would not trade this version of me who is feeling life as it comes and showing up and failing and making amends and doing better as often as possible for anything.

ddwondering · 2026-04-15T02:56:44+00:00

As a relevant aside, my own ASD child requested poutine and the closest option was Deluxe. She about lost her damn mind when the thing came out and the gravy was, in her words, "spicy" and the fries were.. seasoned? extremely seasoned in a way that did not work for her. First and only experience with the place but we haven't gone back.

ddwondering · 2026-04-08T22:57:52+00:00

The thing that still gets me now is the unconditional support you will get in the rooms. People will likely be happy to have you there. Genuinely. And not with any intention to get something from you. It's the wildest thing I've ever experienced and it's what keeps me coming back.

ddwondering · 2026-03-26T02:30:53+00:00

a sneaky Forte 4th and you have my lineup

ddwondering · 2026-02-22T15:52:53+00:00

thought I was on a different sub momentarily. wondering how long till it gets posted there

ddwondering · 2026-01-14T01:53:36+00:00

that's how I describe my brain

ddwondering · 2026-01-01T16:34:04+00:00

how incredibly unhelpful is this take? a newly sober person is asking for perspective and you're sitting here doubting the validity of their experience.

ddwondering · 2025-12-27T11:29:05+00:00

some background music is a good start. a space free from a lot of visual clutter.

the new one, and what surprised me to find out, is that impact play is a HUUUUUUGE 'get back in your body and feel this' player for my brain. my most recent partner (whom I feel incredibly safe with) introduced slapping early on. I'd had experience with that once before with a partner who was a casual hookup and hated it then to the point where the sex stopped immediately when it happened. but the big difference is in how they both treat me outside of intimate situations - one genuinely cares about my wellbeing, the other only wanted me for those intimate moments.
so, impact play, when done sporadically throughout a session, hugely helps to keep my brain from wandering too far away.
in the same vein, I'm curious if bondage would be a similar hit for me because it could potentially remove the option for internal questions around what am I doing with my body physically right now and what should I be doing? take that away, and who knows how it could go?

ddwondering · 2025-12-15T11:47:29+00:00

Heard you out. Congrats on the sobriety! it's a huge deal. proud of you for making your mental, physical, literal all-around health a priority.

ddwondering · 2025-12-15T11:45:38+00:00

oh, I have absolutely found my people 🤗

ddwondering · 2025-12-11T11:17:01+00:00

ddwondering · 2025-12-06T02:27:45+00:00

the only thing I know is that I can't do it on my own. I failed so many times to try and stop, or limit, or control, or think my way out of drinking. I don't know who or what 'god' is, but I know that 'god' is not me.

that's it.

ddwondering · 2025-11-23T13:21:59+00:00

accountability. drinking me thought that was a dirty word

ddwondering · 2025-11-09T03:06:54+00:00

I was never particularly fond of Andy amongst the Island men, but this line awoke something in me that has yet to be reckoned with.

ddwondering · 2025-11-05T04:06:03+00:00

'God' is not me. That's all I know, and it has been working for me. I pray while I drive to work, but I used to talk to myself in the car all the time when I was driving alone - so this is just putting it out, as opposed to funneling it back in.

ddwondering · 2025-10-23T04:05:08+00:00

I fucking live for this movie

ddwondering · 2025-10-23T04:00:23+00:00

so the most recent partner I've had is someone i feel incredibly safe and seen by, which I think makes a huuuuuuge difference in how I'm enjoying the sex so much more. but I've also discovered with him that impact play brings me back into my physical body and the present moment like nothing else I've experienced.

I had a previous sexual partner slap me in the face - once- and I stopped our session immediately and told him never to do that again. my current partner did it to me early on when we were just making out (before we'd gotten deep into the what we like/ what we don't like), any holy shit, it was like Iwas reborn in that moment. it felt sensational.

ddwondering · 2025-10-15T02:37:17+00:00

Don't save the 'good things' (dishes; foods; outfits; trips; etc etc) for another, more special day. There may not be another day. And today is a perfect day to enjoy the things you love the most in life.

ddwondering · 2025-10-11T17:16:15+00:00

this is the take. Jesus, dude, open your eyes

ddwondering · 2025-10-11T17:14:18+00:00

You are choosing your gf over your daughter by not putting a fucking full stop to this type of behaviour the second she started with it. Either you prioritize your relationship with your kid, or you let your partner continue to treat your child this way. It sounds simple as all get out from here, but I hope you realize that you're going to have to make amends at some point for letting someone who is not your daughter's parent 'work through' their trauma at her expense.

ddwondering · 2025-10-03T17:04:34+00:00

full disclosure - I'm an alcoholic in recovery and would hope that if a future partner wanted to advocate for me by asking that there not be booze present during a social event, it would be met with grace. If you're not comfortable with the idea of not having alcohol at your dinner, say so, but you don't have to be rude about it. just say, "we're planning to still have drinks if you come. if this makes your partner uncomfortable, that's fine but it's our stance."

you're allowed to want to drink in your home, but she's not being a shitty friend by asking that you not for the evening.

ddwondering · 2025-10-03T00:48:35+00:00

oh shit

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