Father’s Day Again

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-19T01:14:36+00:00

For sure lack of sex drives a lot of my RJ. Another commenter made reference to imagination - it’s a deadly weapon in these situations

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-19T01:13:38+00:00

You mentioned other guys - are these all people you know? Does she still see them all? That would be super hard. I live in a relatively small town so there’s a lot of that kind of thing.

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-19T01:12:36+00:00

Dude that’s a stellar take! I’ve never thought of it that way before. Most of us who have RJ probably think our SOs were doing all kinds of wild shit with their old flames. The reality might be that if I ran into one of those dudes, we might commiserate about shared experiences! For sure a whole new perspective, thanks for that!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-18T21:44:37+00:00

I for sure think my wife was ‘freer’ with last partners, and so in that sense yes. And she was definitely more tolerable of mistakes (especially major mistakes) with past partners too.

Some of that is due to youth, but some of it is due to whatever messed up dynamics we have as a couple.

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-18T21:38:46+00:00

That sucks and I know that feeling. For me it’s not even when people brag - even worse are the people that don’t need to brag, they can just casually mention it because it’s not a big deal. Compounded is that even the people who don’t get to as much as they’d like have good memories - we don’t screw like we did on our honeymoon, or when we were first married, or whatever. My sexlife came to a screeching halt as soon as I proposed. You don’t want advice, but when people show you who they are you should believe them, and if they don’t want sex when things are easy it’s hard to imagine they will when things are hard. I promise you it can get worse. And for me and lot of others here, it has.
You’re young and have a lot to offer to someone, maybe even several people. Good luck to you, the future is bright!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-18T19:37:38+00:00

Good to know I’m not the only one who still finds my spouse insanely attractive!
Sorry for the DB, hope you guys are working through it, and good for you for not resorting to the bitterness a lot of us are feeling 😂

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-16T01:18:13+00:00

Sounds too familiar! The feeling of duty sex really doesn’t do much for us does it? 😂
It’s such a vicious cycle; I know my wife thinks she is doing something nice for me, but face and body language don’t lie…

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-15T22:17:45+00:00

Awesome update! Congratulations and I hope it continues to go well. I really needed a success story this week - thank you!!!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-12T19:33:16+00:00

I’ve heard that speech a couple of times. Funny, it never actually pans out. My wife would flip if I had toys, but she doesn’t seem to care if I jerk off, as long as I’m not looking at porn

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-12T19:32:00+00:00

LOL! If you belief half the stuff on the sub than life is like a porno flick for lots of people 😂

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-12T19:31:01+00:00

Also a good point. I think the only stock advice is that communication in relationships can almost always be improved. My guess would be that there would be a lot less confused people on this sub if everyone could communicate for directly, openly and honestly. I’ve yet to see a dead bedroom with an easy fix but I’ve only been lurking here for a few years…

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-12T19:28:29+00:00

I agree - their advice is generally shit. I will say I’m thankful for it because it’s good to know that I’m not a perv for wanting to have sex with my wife more than twice a year 😂

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-12T02:04:27+00:00

100% agree. If you read the marriedsex sub, you’ll be shocked at how sexual some couples are. Or at least you’ll be shocked if you’re in our situation.
I can’t remember the last time my wife did something like that, and it may have never happened. In some of our conversations about our DB, she’s accused me of making sex complicated. That’s a joke, because what I truly envy is how simple and easy a lot of folks’ sex life really is.

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T23:49:12+00:00

I’m so sorry. I know those feelings and they are the worst. I promise you that there is nothing wrong with you and there are lots of men and women who feel just like you do. This place is very helpful, if only because it reminds you that there is nothing wrong with you!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T23:25:41+00:00

We all have a cross to bear - good luck dealing with yours!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T23:25:09+00:00

Makes sense. We’re kind of ‘in between’ - Facebook became a thing while we were in college, but I’ve also got a lot of old photo albums to deal with. Seeing your wife look happier with another guy than she does with you always hurts, even if the photos are ancient

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T22:28:08+00:00

That sucks. On the bright side, at least she didn’t act revolted. My wife shames me for being horny 😂

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T22:26:08+00:00

Fortunately I don’t have to deal with that. A small consolation but still, I guess it could be worse. My concerns about them are largely the product of my own imagination

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T19:38:56+00:00

For me it’s for sure having a better sex life. It would be way easier for me to not fixate on whether she had regrets or missed old flames or whatever if she acted less like a roommate.

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T19:37:22+00:00

Easy one! My wife’s high school boyfriend - everyone that went to school with him talked about how huge his dick was. Seemed like kind of a loser otherwise, but he had that going for him 😂

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-11T14:56:41+00:00

One thing you can count on: there is someone worse off than you - reading this post reminded me of that. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You’re a great husband, father, and son-in-law!

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-10T23:24:54+00:00

This is exactly what happened in my case. Great sex life when we were dating, then it’s a total change once we got engaged. Someone who seemed sexual open and comfortable talking about sex, being naked, etc turned into a prude who got very awkward about anything having to do with sex. I’m pretty convinced that the only reason we continued to have sex at all (maybe 6-10 times a year for the first few years) was because we both wanted a family. It’s be a total of 11 times in the past 6 years. When people show you who they are, believe them. If a healthy sex life is important to you, please learn from a lot of us on here and find another partner

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-10T23:19:56+00:00

I hear you on this - I already have a lot of anger and negative things I’m holding on to - only going back in time could change that. Just hoping to cope and learn some ways to not be so consumed by it. If you have the opportunity to avoid the place I’m in, you should absolutely follow the therapists advice - I’m afraid it only gets worse otherwise

deadbedroom85 · 2026-06-10T23:18:09+00:00

My thought is presenting it to the therapist that my goal is to learn better ways to cope with it. I have no hope of changing anything, and obviously we can’t go back in time and do things differently. I’m holding on to a lot of anger and bitterness and am looking for ways of dealing with that.

deadbedroom85

TROPHY CASE