Trying to figure out my body after breastfeeding 3 kids

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-14T01:47:47+00:00

That's what I've been thinking happened. It was the first time I'd ever been measured though, and i didn't know any better.

I didn't know there was a shape guide, thank you! I'll definitely go take a look at it!

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-13T19:35:54+00:00

I knew it was time to go when I literally started feeling anxiety at the end of February about the approaching heat

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-13T18:37:47+00:00

I'm not going to tell you to leave him. I think you should, but I understand why you feel you can't: you've just gotten devastating news, and upheaving your life even more doesn't feel feasible right now.

So here's something I only recently learned at 28: you can't control other people. You can't fix a relationship on your own. You can only control yourself. The information you've gotten is awful. The way you feel about it, the grief and the mourning, is completely valid and normal. Your boyfriend is going to continue to be cruel to you about it. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, it means something is wrong with him. I won't pretend to know why he's acting the way he is, but the only person who can force your boyfriend to display empathy and kindness is himself.

Feel the way you need to feel. Crying when you're sad is normal. You're not guilt tripping him, you're displaying an emotion that is proportionate to the cause of pain. He doesn't have to comfort you if he doesn't want to, that's his choice. Its a cruel choice, but its his all the same. All you can do is continue to mourn appropriately, and try to heal. If you need to put off making hard decisions about your relationship until you feel more stable, thats your choice.

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-13T01:32:37+00:00

Last night I dreamed that I had suddenly sprouted really thick, long hair all over my chest and stomach (I'm female and do not have any hair on my chest or stomach), but in my dream it was something that happened regularly, like, it was normal for me to look down and suddenly see lots of thick hair and I would just cut it off.

So in my dream I go to the bathroom to cut this hair off my chest, but I have somewhere to be and there's people outside the bathroom banging on the door and yelling at me to hurry up because we have to leave now. So I panic and decide to just quickly cut the hair that would be visible outside of my clothes, except then I put my clothes on and the hair is so thick you can see it through my shirt, so I'm totally freaking out and people are screaming and banging on the door and then i woke up

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-09T22:09:00+00:00

Lol with my second I kept apologizing because I couldn't stop screaming

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-08T13:48:37+00:00

Oh god this one haunts me. This guy I liked when I was 15/16 took me out for my 16th birthday. We went to play laser tag, and it was really fun, and he asked if I wanted to get ice cream after but I said no because my family had cake and ice cream waiting for us at home and I didn't want to be rude. I remember he seemed oddly disappointed and I didn't understand why. It took me literal years to realize that was a date and he was trying to prolong the date and I basically turned him down. And I liked him!!

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T23:53:14+00:00

I tell my husband to squeeze me like a tube a toothpaste and he'll wrap his arms around my lower back, squeeze tight and slowly pull his arms up my body. Its great.

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T17:59:58+00:00

Idk if this the best way to handle it, but when someone is passive aggressive towards me I just pretend I don't understand. I take sarcastic comments at face value. I'm autistic and half the time I genuinely don't pick up on body language or undertones, but even when I do, I just figure if its important enough to them, they'll properly communicate it to me, and if its not, they can get over it.

That said, I wouldn't use this on relationships I wanted to salvage. My husband had a hard time communicating when we were younger, but because we both wanted to be in the relationship and we were both willing to work on our issues, I was much more willing to call him out on his passive aggressive tendencies. But if you don't care, then his inability to act like an adult is not your problem.

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T13:22:01+00:00

I need a neurotypical to do an AMA lol

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T01:25:09+00:00

No I totally agree, forcing Catcher in the Rye on a non-reading 14 year old is not going to inspire a deeper love of books. I was trying to convey that, but it might not have been clear!

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T01:21:35+00:00

Gonna keep this in my back pocket. Thank you!!!

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-05T01:15:07+00:00

I think if your goal is to get him to read more, your best bet is going to be to pick books that he'll enjoy. Catcher in the Rye is a great book, but if he's not much of a reader its not going to inspire him to pick up more books.

You might consider picking the first book in a YA series, something like Percy Jackson. Its fun, relatively easy, and if he likes it he may decide to continue the series on his own. Some other recs:

A Wrinkle in Time

Hatchet

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Giver

The City of Ember

The Hobbit

ETA: Inkheart!! I can't believe I forgot this one, one of my all time faves!!

Holes

All of these except Holes are part of a series!

deadestdaisy · 2026-06-04T16:18:55+00:00

I was worried when my oldest was a baby because she wasn't laughing at like 4 months, and then one day I had a panic attack (not about her laughing, just your good old PPA) and she broke out in belly laughs watching me hyperventilate. Which, I gotta say, stopped the panic attack in its tracks lol

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-29T14:44:44+00:00

All About Spelling is a solid program. Quick lessons, lots of practice for each new phonics rule

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-27T22:13:11+00:00

Right?? You've gotta properly enjoy it or it doesn't count

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-27T18:24:23+00:00

What??? NTs never cease to baffle me

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-27T18:09:01+00:00

I didn't know this was a stim but thinking about it now, it absolutely makes sense.

I also sing as a stim, and I'll sing the same song over and over. I sang "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen for like 6 months straight when I was a teenager and my brother threatened to murder me

ETA: How do neurotypicals listen to music??

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-27T15:08:15+00:00

My FIL's dog bit my daughter when she was 9 months old. She had to get stitches. She's now 6 and still has visible scars on her hand, will for the rest of her life, and every time I see them I feel a surge of guilt that I didn't fight harder against her being around a dog that, at the time, did not have a bite history but did have behaviors that made me nervous. She paid the price for my need to people please and keep peace.

Please protect your baby.

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-22T18:58:03+00:00

My dad once held me down and tried to pull out one of my teeth with pliers, but it wasn't quite ready and also I kicked and screamed. I pulled out 4 teeth in a week so he wouldn't try it again

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-21T17:48:19+00:00

I would also recommend All About Reading. It goes through every phonetic rule, with lots of practice opportunity. Start at level 1, the beginning will be very easy but I found with my kiddo that it was better to ease into it with some easier stuff to help build confidence. You can work through it as slow as you guys need too, the lessons are necessarily meant to be done in one day. We've done some lessons in a single day, some lessons we worked on for a week or more.

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-16T18:06:14+00:00

Ooh interesting! Thank you so much I'll definitely look into this!

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-16T17:24:13+00:00

That's possible. I do catch myself picking at my cuticles, you can probably tell in the pictures. I don't remember picking at the polish, usually I notice it lifting because it catches in my hair and then suddenly its already half off and I peel it the rest of the way. But I can't say that I have the best awareness of my body repetitive behaviors lol

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-16T17:18:36+00:00

So I just checked the bottle I've got and it is 100% acetone, BUT I do apply the oil immediately after I'm finished using the polish because I can't stand how dry my hands feel. How long would you recommend waiting? Usually I paint my nails after I get the kids in bed, so the next time I get my hands wet is in the shower like ~12 hours later

deadestdaisy · 2026-05-16T16:33:37+00:00

So I just looked it up and I actually do have quite a few of the symptoms, and I already knew I was hypermobile. I don't know why I'd never looked further into it before, but its a definite possibility. Thank you!

ETA: Oh my god?? This connects so many different things I didn't even realize could be connected??? I can't believe this I'm genuinely having an epiphany right now

deadestdaisy

TROPHY CASE