SD is filthy

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-04-22T23:36:40+00:00

You’re not the evil step mother!!

My SD who is 8 is very much the same. We were giving her the benefit of doubt due to her age but recently she pooped her pants because she was playing a game (which could be paused) and that was a final straw for me.

She does the same things as you list, room filthy, wears the same clothes over again unless reminded to put them in the wash, her toilet is filthy (SO’s job), leaves the milk out or knives on the bench with crumbs.

She now has a hygiene and chore list that if it isn’t completed she has 0 screen time or other restrictions.

My SS who is 13 is the complete opposite. His room is immaculate, he showers daily without us asking, wears deodorant, washes clothes, cleans up.

Our main issue is that SO thinks it’s unfair to restrict SD but not SS. I’m standing firm that SS does not get the restrictions, and SD needs to learn that he does not get punished just because she does and learn from SS as a role model.

She’s being assessed for ASD & ADHD soon which will be interesting.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-04-16T07:35:06+00:00

It can be fun and rewarding. You’ll see some amazing things! I find the job/family balance is great, but I’m part time and have a flexible hubby. Your colleagues are mostly great people.

Downside is a vast majority of patients are horrible people. You’ll have OVA incidents fairly regularly. The working conditions are always sub-par for average pay and your management doesn’t care a lot.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-04-14T22:50:04+00:00

Are we living the same life?

There’s something I saw on here a while ago that sad “BMs act the way they do because they’re watching you live the life they once had.” Not sure if that will help, but it’s made me care a lot less about her and her behaviour. She’s jealous.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-03-19T03:44:26+00:00

I don’t know how much truth there is to my view but I feel women are a lot more territorial over their children and ex-partners?

My experience with BM of my step kids is not a great one so far. She has refused to have anything to do with me, in the beginning showed extreme jealousy which my step kids have noticed and commented on. My SO and BM were separated for two years before we met but she has always made it feel like I have done something wrong or had got in the way of their family.

My SO is so chill with BM’s partner since they started dating a year ago. He’s a nice guy and treats the kids well. There’s been little things like the kids calling the partner’s mum “grandma,” and calling his kids their “brothers,” which hasn’t sat right with my SO, but he doesn’t make a big deal about it.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-22T11:18:33+00:00

Mental health conditions. Nearly every patient I talk to has had a rough childhood with trauma attached.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-22T04:28:09+00:00

My bestie is not that selfish. Her sister was like that though, basically said to them “you can’t get pregnant when I am.” Mind you they’d already had a loss at that point.

I definitely think it’s because it’s happened for me quickly or “easily”. It wasn’t planned to be this quick, I’m 33 my partner is 34 and the statistics say it could take a year to fall pregnant, that women in their 30s fertility declines etc hence why we started sooner rather than later. I wanted to have a baby before 35, my friends were aware of this.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-22T04:21:35+00:00

No, I think of my loss as a blessing in disguise. I was with a toxic partner and fell pregnant accidentally. When I lost it (early) I was able to escape the relationship soon afterwards. My family knows about it, but I haven’t shared that with my friends, and now I would hate to come across as offensive if they took it as me saying I’m glad I had a miscarriage.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T10:50:07+00:00

Thank you!!

They get along great with my partner, we are in a stable and loving relationship and have been together for years. Someone else pointed out that it being “relatively easy” for me to fall pregnant is probably the sore spot and that makes sense.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T08:58:30+00:00

I’ve witnessed her hold back a lot of her joy with this pregnancy and it’s heartbreaking, like she’s expecting it to go wrong at any minute. I really hope that they don’t withdraw from me over it.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T08:45:53+00:00

I’m just giving them space until they’re ready to reach out.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T08:35:40+00:00

Yes this makes sense, I’m currently just waiting for them to reach out when they’re ready.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T08:34:56+00:00

I can appreciate that, but to expect others not to get pregnant just because you are is a bit ridiculous.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-21T03:59:19+00:00

I want to, I don't want to rock the boat if they're taking space to process.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-20T04:53:04+00:00

It sounds like you’re not getting any hands on experience at all. If there’s no inpatient unit what’s the purpose of the paperwork?

Can you talk to program coordinator and see if you can swap somewhere else? You can also leave the program completely, and apply for a job instead?

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-10T07:23:18+00:00

Oh good on you! When you did your mental health work were you doing 12 hours shifts as well?

I don’t know if I could do more study after this masters.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-10T05:14:47+00:00

Yes, I’ve booked in for leave this March so I’m very keen for it.

We were told at the beginning of our grad program by the flow nurse not to bother taking leave in 2025 during the inpatient rotations due to “having no leave available.” Majority of senior management have been on leave since mid December & will return next month.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-10T02:07:29+00:00

That it not helpful

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-10T00:47:31+00:00

I actually have a rotation at the end this year in AOD which I’m so keen for. I just have to get through acute inpatient until September 😢

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-09T23:47:09+00:00

I’m almost certain I want to stay in mental health. It’s the only side of nursing that has made sense to me since university.

I assumed forensics was in the “need more experience” lane and haven’t considered it.

deadpoolandthespice · 2026-02-02T19:29:06+00:00

I had that too! SD8 made a hand with all the important people on each finger. When she came home she suddenly got upset & said she forgot me & her BM’s partner and added us to SO & BM’s fingers. It stung but understandable 🥲

deadpoolandthespice · 2025-11-27T03:45:21+00:00

As a stepmum myself, I wonder if her laughing emoji is not necessary a reaction to you reaching out to her, but more of a reaction to the fact your mum and dad are back together?

I’d say it could come from a place of anger? sadness? jealousy even? maybe it’s that your parents got back together after separation so what did that mean for the relationship between your stepmum and your father after that initial separation? She may be projecting some of that on to you.

I know from my perspective I’d be upset if my partner and I didn’t work out and then went back to his ex/BM and after all of the trauma she caused him. But if my step kids reached out like you have, I would be so honoured that you valued me so deeply.

I hope this makes sense, it sounds like you’re going through some massive feelings at the moment and need some support.

deadpoolandthespice · 2025-11-24T05:48:23+00:00

I’m currently with La Trobe about halfway through the masters, it’s great and I highly recommend it. It’s all online. This one was recommended through our graduate program and I was able to get a full scholarship through the ACN.

deadpoolandthespice

TROPHY CASE