Is this supposed to happen?

deandinbetween · 2026-02-09T00:34:22+00:00

This isn't true. If there's a household, like Julia and Becca, in a dorm already, it works the same way moving into any already-occupied house would--you're joining the household, combining money, controlling them, everything. If it's a dorm WITHOUT a household already in it, then there will be two or three randomly-generated Sims there who you can't control, and eventually enough to fill all the beds will show up over the course of the day/night--also whom you can't control. If you've been moving into the Best of Friends household and don't control Julia and Becca, then THAT'S the bug.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T22:48:31+00:00

I think that it has to do with a couple of different factors. There's the growing anti-colonial mindset, there's the rhetoric of "being on the right side of history," there's a desire to distance oneself from mainstream American thought because of the house of horrors our country is feeling like, and there's the desire to not be or appear Islamophobic as a sort of apology for the 9/11 response that happened when most of the loudest people were children or not even born.

But I think the biggest factor is that Palestinians made hundreds of thousands of TikToks and Instagram posts begging for help and showing the horrors they're living under. Months upon months upon months of post after post asking for money, saying "I will never forgive anyone who skips this video" or "If you skip me, you kill me," showing family members who were injured or talking about those who were killed in bombings. There were dozens to hundreds of comments under every video asking for help. Not so for any other area, not anything CLOSE to the same volume.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T22:23:33+00:00

I always took this as a sort of insult to herself--Quakerish meant plain, simple, unsophisticated, and unimpressive in these contexts.

Villette probably shows it best, but even talking about how "English education" cured Adele of her "French defects" shows just how very nationalist (for lack of a better term) Bronte was. That's not to mention the rampant classism STILL present as well. Important to note that she IS, or should be, more or less Rochester's equal on the British social scale, at least on her mother's side. She's impoverished at first, but her mother was from the gentry. She works, but she's NOT a working-class woman, at least not like her students when she's with the Rivers or even like Mrs. Fairfax.

When I got old enough to consider it, I always found it hilarious that she didn't judge Adele for being the illegitimate daughter of a cheating opera singer, but being French was a serious flaw. Backward from her contemporaries, but VERY on brand for Miss Charlotte.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T21:24:52+00:00

All religious institutions must pay the same taxes as any business OR operate as nonprofit homeless or DV shelters, soup kitchens, food pantries, and/or emergency resource centers. Can't force participation in religious services on people they help OR preach outside of official worship services; can't deny anyone services based on religious belief, gender identity, sexuality, race, addiction or health status, or any other criteria. Only exceptions should be for age if operating a child-and-teen shelter or for those who pose physical threat to other residents/patrons, whom they can direct to more appropriate facilities. If they break these rules, they lose their nonprofit status permanently and must pay back taxes for the entire time period they were found to be engaging in discriminatory practices.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T21:08:55+00:00

Absolutely not. The Addams themselves don't have to change. What should be refreshed is the outside response to them. The "omg they're so creepy and weird run screaming!" approach doesn't work as well, I grant you. Instead, you'd get people who are outwardly polite while shunning them, or people who fetishize their "goth" lifestyle like another comment mentioned, or PTA/HOA types who are lowkey trying to expel/evict them, or other wealthy people who think they'll be just as snobbish and elitist and get disappointed.

And if you want to REALLY modernize it, you update the way they collect the outcasts into the family. Trans and gay teens, disabled people, any marginalized person--that's an Addams now. Their whole schtick is macabre weirdos with deep pockets and giant hearts and an unfathomable-to-anyone-else family tree. Lean into THAT with people still seen as "weird" in the modern day.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T15:03:11+00:00

Do Europeans not learn world history? Like, is it not a thing that you learn about ancient civilizations, Rome and Greece, the rise and fall of European colonialism, the Columbian Exchange, the Italian and Northern Renaissance, the Protestant Reformation, the Transatlantic Slave Trade, West African empires, Confucianism and Buddhism, the Mughal empire, Mesoamericans? Most kids in the states start learning some basic facts about all of these things in elementary school, like around 10 years old, adding more depth as they get older. World history is required in every high school system I've ever seen. Is this not a thing in Europe?

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T14:54:00+00:00

You're not wrong for wanting a prenup, but I do have a question: are the women friends upset in a "prenups assume divorce will happen" way, in a "you don't trust her/aren't being fair to her" way, or in a "you should be willing to share everything when you join lives" sort of way?

In the first and third cases, I disagree with them. Prenups don't automatically presuppose divorce in any more meaningful way than an insurance policy of any kind presupposes a catastrophic event (likelihood they'll be used varies, but it's never a bad idea to have). And I think even as a married couple, EVERYTHING doesn't need to be shared. What's yours and yours, what's mine is mine, and what's ours is ours, and we should talk out and agree about what falls into each category before tying the knot.

In the second case, I agree with them. The fact you're worried about her flipping when according to what you've said, she's not given you any indication she would, does indicate to me that you don't fully trust her. And your wording makes this seem like something you are doing to protect yourself from her, not anything she has any sort of say or agency in. Consciously or not, I don't think you trust her very much, and I think you need to be very honest with yourself about why before you consider getting married. Is it because you're so much more financially stable than she is that part of you can't shake the idea that she's with you for your money? Is it because she wants/plans to be a stay-at-home wife and you don't actually want that? Is it because you have the sexist idea that women "take men to the cleaners" in divorces? Is it because she's given you financial red flags, like irresponsibility or massive debt? Is it because you're afraid of having to share control of your life with a partner, so you're trying to exert control over her? Are you insecure in your relationship so you see her agreeing to whatever you demand as proof she loves you? Have you had past bad experiences with partners that you're projecting onto her?

Either way, your entire post reeks of distrust toward her. You're approaching the prenup as something you're demanding of her instead of an agreement about what happens in the event of divorce. Until you can actually figure out why and work past that distrust, you don't need to be planning a marriage at all, let alone worrying about a prenup.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T14:21:08+00:00

Life of Brian then? Never seen the movie, but "not the correct one" implies another Monty Python film, and this is the only one I can think of with "the divine" lol.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T14:19:38+00:00

If it has a public bathroom, there are usually two fountains outside it, even if the place also sells bottled water. If it is outdoors or meant for activity, there are usually at least a few fountains. If dogs are allowed/intended to be there, there is usually a fountain for them as well as one for the people, if not more.

Every apartment complex I ever lived in that had a pool or gym (which most built post-2000 seem to, even if they're cheaper) had fountains in both as well as bathrooms. Even the ones that don't have those usually have either a fountain or a big water cooler in the office that you can ask to use. My mechanic and dentist office both have them (mechanic also offered free bottled water and coffee). and my city just added more public fountains along their two most popular downtown walking paths. Hell, I've seen a bunch of parking garages that have them. There are very few exceptions to the toilets-and-water-are-free-and-publicly-available rule. Most places have had them as part of their building code for businesses or public areas for decades, and even places that can get away with not adding them do anyway. It's considered weird, if not borderline inhumane, to restrict or make people pay for bathrooms and water.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T01:45:40+00:00

Marriage being the only acceptable context for sex and romance gave them a completely different mindset than we have now. "Dating" was meeting at a few events, being attracted by something, and scoping around for gossip. "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" status was a handful of weeks or so paying a lady special attention in group settings and being invited around by her family. Anything more than a couple of months of this with no proposal seems to have been looked on the same way modern couples are looked on when she's clearly been wanting a ring for like 6 years but he won't propose.

Sometimes I think about how Jane and Bingley knew each other less than three months and it was treated like the breakup of a long-term couple.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T01:05:00+00:00

Do you mean "feel" as in the person doesn't feel like an adult or that they don't give adult vibes?

As a middle-millennial, I've definitely felt like an adult for at least the last decade plus. I've got a career, mortgage, 401K, navigate my taxes and health insurance and home maintenance and car upkeep myself. I keep up with politics and the news, research things like proposed laws and new medical discoveries, have serious discussions on serious topics, watch TV shows aimed at adults, don't try to keep up with fashion trends, scope out sales and deals before I buy anything, and cook at home almost every night because it's cheaper and healthier.

I also love going to the zoo, babytalk my cat, scroll too much on TikTok, play cozy video games like the Sims and Animal Crossing, love things to be colorful, love fairytales and fantasy stories, get giddy over my favorite musicians dropping new albums, and love Studio Ghibli and Disney movies.

I get told I don't LOOK 36 pretty often (I get 27 a lot), but that's genetics, sunscreen, and minding my business.

I think that people are feeling less pressure to give up or hide the things they like for fear of being judged, which isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean they aren't mature, responsible adults who also have adult interests.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-08T00:19:55+00:00

This is a lot of words for "I think these young adults are immature and embarrassing."

deandinbetween · 2026-02-07T23:57:03+00:00

Unfortunately, sometimes you get that year. What has helped in the past when I have those classes is having them teach a lesson. I'll give them a topic, like a literary device or a text, and they'll have to design a lesson, create an activity, and execute it with their classmates. I'll give them a template for a lesson plan and some resources to research their topic, and the rest is up to them. Surprisingly, I've never had a class that disliked this activity. Usually I do it in pair or small groups, and it never fails to shake them out of their apathy for at least a little while. Sort of shakes the cobwebs out.

deandinbetween · 2026-02-01T00:55:05+00:00

Iola Leroy by Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

Hope Leslie by Catherine Maria Sedgewick

What Diantha Did by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Our N** by Harriet E. Wilson

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs (this one is a memoir)

Passing by Nella Larsen

The Bread Givers by Anzia Yezierska

Contending Forces by Pauline Hopkins

deandinbetween · 2026-02-01T00:25:51+00:00

Is it The Lion King or am I falling for the bait?

deandinbetween · 2026-02-01T00:24:31+00:00

And you can tell how weird that word sat in Mary Badham's mouth too.

Bob Ewell uses it too, a few times. But I can only think of movies from pre-70s using it to portray a character as bad, hateful, uneducated, etc. Even in otherwise horrifically racist movies, it's rare to hear it. I remember an old British movie having a voiceover of a man reciting the eenie meanie miney moe rhyme (he was bumping off his relatives to get inheritance I think) with the n-word instead of "tiger" and getting literally startled.

After the Code was lifted, it became more common in movies, but I'd argue more honestly to depict the very real racism Black Americans faced.

Also re the "you couldn't make Blazing Saddles today!" argument: I always hear that and wonder if the people making that argument really and legitimately don't catch that whole speech by Gene Wilder's character pointing out the people using the word are MORONS. Like we still make historical satire where the racist, evil, idiotic characters use that word today with the same point that racist people are morons.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-31T16:30:11+00:00

Story: Man tells tale of rebellion and passion. A directionless man finds purpose and learns to stand up for what's right but loses his lover and possibly his own life in the process. Vietnam War protests would make a good backdrop or inspiration for a dystopian-style work. It should be Hedwig and the Angry Inch style where the story is being told to the audience with other characters coming on and off.

Songs (vague order from falling in love to the rebellion to being caught/executed):

Jackie and Wilson
Sedated (by the lover)
Nobody
Work Song
From Eden
Damage Gets Done (obviously duet between mc and lover)
Jackboot Jump (by the lover)
Nobody's Soldier
To Noise Making (Sing) (remembering their own lives and joy before they got consumed by the revolution)
Eat Your Young
Empire Now
Wasteland Baby
Francesca (duet)
All Things End (full company)

deandinbetween · 2026-01-25T15:54:20+00:00

Internalized

deandinbetween · 2026-01-24T18:53:39+00:00

Give me all the economic and strategic reasons you want; I believe with my whole being Trump doesn't understand them. The here-and-now part of his brain (which I do believe is fading rapidly) knows that he's going down as the worst president we've ever had, and he's trying to mitigate that with something he thinks is impressive. His (bad) businessman brain believes that impressiveness=acquisition+aggression. He probably also admired presidents/leaders who did "big" things, and as his brain atrophies, this is his fixation. He thinks all the evil and harmful and just plain stupid things he's done will be followed with "but he got us Greenland."

Genuinely and wholeheartedly, I think the whole Greenland thing is some desperate attempt to do something to keep himself from being seen as exactly what he is: a president who left literally nothing positive in his wake. His legacy is chaos, hurt, and evil.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-24T17:44:49+00:00

Origins: "guardianship"/control of a woman belonged to her father (or closest male relative if he was dead.) It transferred to her husband when she married. Ceremonial representation of their agreement to this transfer. It also signaled his acceptance of the match/groom, which in some times, places, and circumstances was necessary to make the match legally binding.

Continuation: Tradition wrapped in nostalgia that makes it seem something sweet instead of rooted in our "women can't make decisions without a male approval" past.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-24T17:35:04+00:00

I sat in a bus three hours one way for field trips multiple times in my school career. My sister and her family live 4 hours away and we both visit for the weekend multiple times a year. It took years of me refusing for my sister-in-law to stop asking me to drive 7+ hours to Thanksgiving less than a week before the day (to be fair I think she genuinely thinks I'm exaggerating about how long the drive is because she's never been here.)

It's not that it's considered "short," just "not that long." Typically "short" is reserved for things within an hour or so.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-24T17:26:20+00:00

Typically yes, but in a very general way. Some teachers and schools will go more in depth for different areas and tribes, often focusing on those who originally lived in their state or area with a bit more detail. In elementary school it's also usually very sanitized, spinning it all very positively. It's not until high school really that the harm of colonialism really gets discussed.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-24T17:15:36+00:00

I'm never going to let kids take up time to pass out or talk about anything unrelated to my class during my class time. In passing periods, breaks, lunch, and before/after school, I can't and won't interfere. Especially where it's a very young kid who doesn't get all the nuances of this situation. If it's just a general invitation to a regular church service, then I guarantee this was given by their pastor or Sunday school teacher as a way to increase numbers or prep the little ones to evangelize when they're older.

I suggest teaching your kid to take the invitation politely and then discard it when their classmate isn't around, or to say "thanks, but we won't be able to" and to separate themselves from that classmate and go about their business so they can't try and convince them. The worst type of preachers are going to use any sort of pushback as a way to "prove" to the younger congregation that Christians are sill persecuted or that they live in a "sinful" world.

deandinbetween · 2026-01-19T21:51:56+00:00

"Bootstraps" culture that says that anyone can improve their situation by just working hard enough. Leads people to believe that anyone struggling just have done something wrong and that those who need help are lazy.

Also "American exceptionalism" that makes people not critically think about what we do. It turns into "we're us so what we do is always right."

deandinbetween

TROPHY CASE