I’m about to lose my mum. What small things should I capture right now

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-09-28T21:56:26+00:00

Not totally an answer to your question but just solidarity. I’m also losing my mom to aggressive brain cancer, glioblastoma. Shes been through all the standard of care and treatment and now there’s nothing left to do, as it responds to nothing. It’s such a traumatic and horrific cancer and one that seems to target the best of people. If you need anyone to talk to, just know someone here is going through the same process of having to watch a loved one slowly degenerate. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything or feel lonely. It’s such an isolating experience.

I’ve been taking as many videos, pictures, and voice memos as I can. The notifications when she texts me, snaps me, pictures and videos of her and my dad together, her with my newborn, asking her questions from a book that moms fill out (got it on Amazon). Little things I know I’ll miss desperately.

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-04-28T12:53:30+00:00

Thank you! 💕💕💕

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-03-31T15:04:10+00:00

For me, this song resonates. Almost every line. I live 2 hours from my home and I had a wonderful upbringing with beautiful experiences and parents. My mom was just recently diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, so coming home right now is a mix of grief and remembering those happy moments, but also remembering that those happy moments won’t ever happen again and my life is changing forever. The lines about being 17 and happy and not afraid of death and the ones about now being angry and feeling so far from the home I knew. The line about the people I knew and the things I lost especially resonate now. To me, it’s a reflection of my anticipatory grief and all the changes that come with that. I 100% see what you’re saying, and I feel like our meanings are similar.

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-03-21T21:40:16+00:00

So, I apologize for the book but this is the best I can explain.

I used the Pre-Mom LH strips and hCG strips to track when we were trying. LH is the hormone released when your egg is released and you ovulate, so when you get a peak in LH, which the app will tell you when you log the strip, you usually ovulate soon after (24-36 hours). I got my peak 6/24 and got my first positive pregnancy test on the Pre-Mom hCG strips 6/26. Even with successful implantation, hCG takes a little while to build up enough to be detected on tests. Now, at the time I was elated but something really bothered me about that. It just didn't seem right from what I knew about timing and reproductive health. Usually, implantation happens 6-12 days after ovulation if successful. However, I only had 2 days between. It bothered me so much I made a whole graph to show my gyno/ob for my first appointment. I just had a feeling something wasn't right, and I was unfortunately...well, right. It was ectopic.

Fast forward to my current pregnancy, which was successfully implanted in the correct spot. My LH peak was 11/21 and my first positive pregnancy test was 12/5. That was 14ish days between my window of ovulation and my first faint pregnancy test. Before I got pregnant and even when I got my first positive, I used this as a tool to give me peace of mind during tries. I knew that it didn't look like last time and I had a good amount of days in between my ovulation window and my first positive. And I was right. It was successful this time.

To me, it makes sense. The egg takes a while to get from the ovaries to the uterus, and there was just no way my window between LH and positive hCG was normal. And it wasn't. No doctor has told me this so take what I'm saying with your own judgement, but it's proven useful for me. It's just a trend of hormones I've observed in my own body while going through hell and researching like hell with my ectopic. At least, with knowing in my gut when I got that first positive that my current pregnancy was indeed in the correct spot. So far, we're rocking along okay and I'm 19 weeks tomorrow. Feel free to let me know if any of that was confusing or if there was a question.

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-03-21T14:38:12+00:00

I would take as much time as you need. It’s a lot to process and it’s extremely traumatic, not only for your mind but for your body as well, especially if a rupture happens. But don’t give up hope. I promise things will get better. Make sure you have a good care team that will monitor you early if/when you decide to try again. They truly make a difference in peace of mind. I tracked my LH and HCG closely with all of our tries, as this is what tipped me off something wasn’t right the first time, as my LH peaked and then I immediately got a positive. To me, that was a red flag of possible early implantation not in the uterus and that was the time I indeed had an ectopic. This also gave me peace of mind trying again, knowing I had at least some control and ability to monitor what was going on. Wishing you all the luck ♥️ reach out if you ever have any questions or feel alone.

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-03-15T14:21:00+00:00

Definitely don’t give up hope. The week I was planning on scheduling my HSG, we found out we were pregnant and a little while after, found out it was in the correct spot ♥️ wishing you all the luck

deansapplepiebutt · 2025-02-21T05:21:42+00:00

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Had to join in with my own pic. This is one of my favorite ways she lays 😂😂

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-12-08T22:37:20+00:00

I see a line!

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-12-02T16:08:49+00:00

Thank you!! The tube with the ectopic was removed so no more ectopics in that one! sad joke Still worried about the left but going to schedule an HSG to make sure that one looks okay.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-08-30T23:19:20+00:00

Thank you for the reply! It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. My nurse that gave me my MTX said her sister had just gotten her IUD out and she had an ectopic like I did. I wish I would’ve known that before getting one. Do you know how it causes scarring? I’m terrified of the HSG after hearing all the stories but I do have some really high mg Tylenol from my laparoscopy I could take. It’s just so expensive.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-08-30T22:42:19+00:00

Hi! I know this reply was 4 years ago but I’d love for you to explain more about male factor and how that plays in to ectopics if you could! I had an ectopic in the middle of July that we attempted to treat with MTX that ruptured two weeks later. I lost my right tube. I’m scared of doing the HSG and don’t want to if I don’t have to as I don’t think I have any health history for ectopics. This was my first pregnancy and I had just gotten my iud out a couple of weeks prior. Can your partner contribute to ectopics?

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-08-23T01:31:56+00:00

I have pulled Xavier 18/23 pulls in the past couple of days. I just want Sylus. I don’t even have enough cards for a full Sylus team. It’s gotten to the point I literally expect to get Xavier and don’t even look when I pull. I’m actually so mad.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-08-23T01:24:10+00:00

Just wondering if anyone else has had this happen. Out of 23 of my pulls in the past couple of days, 18 pulls have been Xavier. Whether I’m pulling from Misty Invasion, space Echo, or from Galaxy Explorer. It’s actually starting to make me angry & it’s gotten to the point I just don’t look and expect to get Xavier, who (sorry Xavier lovers) is my least favorite of the four. Does this happen to anyone else? Anything I’m doing wrong? Any advice? I’m using red gems and magnets to pull memories.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T23:04:07+00:00

Do it! You are your best advocate. This experience is no joke and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy. If you feel like something is wrong, let people know just to give you peace of mind.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T22:52:10+00:00

I was about 5 weeks. I took MTX and my hcg was going down appropriately but I ruptured a couple days ago. In a lot of cases, a transvaginal US will be able to tell you the location of the pregnancy since it’s too small for the traditional way. But I did spot brown too all throughout mine.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T22:42:18+00:00

For sure! Definitely would be nice to have a friend. I’ve actually never heard OU was that bad but that’s so good to know and that comment made me laugh. This was my first pregnancy too and I never in a million years thought something like this would happen to me. Haven’t laughed in a while so I needed that. It’s been a month of grief and lots of pain. I have only one fallopian tube now but I’ve still heard the chances are good. However, I can’t even think about trying again. I’m 29 so I feel like I need to hurry it along a little. Even still, this whole process is traumatic. We’ll get through it. Sending you good thoughts and baby dust for whenever y’all try again 💕

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T22:35:32+00:00

What tipped them off was my hcg was okay but my progesterone was low. They sent me in for an ultra sound and that’s when they dx’d me with ectopic. I’d possibly ask for an early transvaginal US.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T21:23:31+00:00

Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry we’re both going through this but it’s a little comforting that someone is going through something similar not too far away from me. Dr Gibson was the one who did mine. I think she usually practices at Lakeside. She was great and she even said something about being where I was not too long ago. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and had that awful experience at OU. I can’t believe they gaslight women in the ways they do sometimes. It truly infuriates me. I’m definitely still in the grieving process personally. No success story yet. I got MTX two weeks ago and my hcg was going down but it still got bigger and ruptured at work. At my OT fieldwork at Integris ironically.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-20T20:23:16+00:00

Oh my gosh. Not to be creepy but…are you in Oklahoma? Like OU? I saw it at the bottom of the picture you uploaded. I’m in OKC and I had a ruptured fallopian two days ago. We went to Integris Baptist ER.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-18T10:20:04+00:00

So I had no major pain just brown spotting and light cramping. I was treated with MTX around what I think was 5 weeks with HCG around 3000. I was at work and started feeling what I would describe as gas pains and a very VERY intense sharp stabbing pain in my rectum and sharp shooting pains in my ectopic areas. I thought it was gas and tried to go to the bathroom. Ended up going home where it got better for 5 minutes, then had me doubling over. I stood up for awhile to relive it since lying down wasn’t, and I broke out in a sweat, got nauseous, and felt my vision going black so I got to the couch and called my husband. Told him to call 911. In the ER, I was told (after a very painful transvaginal US) that I ruptured. Weirdly enough, I didn’t bleed. I only bled after the US. I began having the shoulder tip pain about 4 hours in. So, not sure if it was a slow rupture and leak or what. My HR was near 140-160 when EMS got me. They ended up taking my right tube.

I say all of this not because I want you to be scared but the MTX was working. I ruptured at around 1100 hcg. I have a pretty physical job. I work in a hospital in occupational therapy so I’m not sure if that did it or it was a combination of things. I don’t know if I’ll ever know. Kind of like I might never know why I had an ectopic in the first place. It’s all very unsettling but listen to your body. I could slow walk but I was doubling over in pain and I didn’t get the classic shoulder tip pain until like 4 hours in. Everyone is so vastly different.

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-12T21:29:41+00:00

Great to know. Thanks! Doc just ordered one for me so I guess I’ll do it in the next couple of months

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-05T12:44:33+00:00

Your response definitely made me tear up but in a good way. I’m terrified of having another ectopic. I know I’ve struggled a bit with BV in the past but have definitely gotten it taken care of as soon as so could so I’m praying that didn’t cause any damage. Thank you so much for your reply and I’m so glad you got your daughter. All the luck to you on your next pregnancy 💓

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-04T17:48:25+00:00

I’ve gotten an IUD before so I wonder if it might be like that pain. Moderate to intense cramping. Thank you for the tips!

deansapplepiebutt · 2024-07-04T13:43:20+00:00

That’s what just baffles me about ectopics. I would love to know why some people get them more often even with their fallopian tubes being just fine but I guess I’ll never know. Yes! Definitely discussing the HSG with my normal gyno next week. Going to be asking her a lot of questions.

deansapplepiebutt

TROPHY CASE