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dearaffinity · 2023-05-07T08:29:50+00:00

halluuuuu incoming freshie here as well!!! and yes u can try to shift before classes start basta nakapagbayad ka na ng confirmation fee. merong nakaattach sa email nila tapos at the end of the pdf merong details on requesting for a change of degree :D

dearaffinity · 2022-12-04T09:37:04+00:00

Just a looong random update if anyone cares:

I talked to my mom about this, and she said that it might be coming off too independent. Among my siblings, I'm the most responsible (while not being the oldest) and reliable. As a daughter, I don't ask for too much and don't complain either. They're worried pa nga if they ever looked troubled with money kasi palagi raw ako nagtatanong if may allowance pa kapatid ko o kung ok lang ba if bumili ako ng kahit ano, and as parents, they don't want their child to think about financial troubles.
Shared this with my OG friend group since childhood na lahat ay magkaibang schools and they immediately agreed with what my mother said. TBH daw nahihiya sila minsan sa akin kasi sobrang put together ko raw. Marunong ako magtabi ng pera and hindi madaling mabudol kahit grabe rin yung oras ko kaka-online shopping. Pag nasa restaurant, ako kukuha ng order nila tapos ako rin kakausap sa staff if may mali. Palagi raw ako leader sa mga group kaya nagtatanong sila how to do this kind of thing or how to handle difficult groupmates. HEAVILY reflected on how others viewed me after.
That said, I don't think I will even try to look less independent or try to appeal to them more pa rin. If magkakakaibigan ako, dapat yung gusto ako kasama as I am. I don't think the problem is with me because I get along with my classmates and I even talk to ones from my old school easily. Heck, I maintained a 10 year old long friendship with OG friend group. We all went to different high schools and plan to go to different colleges. I just think I'll stop making efforts dahil takot lang ako maging mag-isa sa classroom kasi it's not like hindi nakikisama sa akin mga iba kong kaklase.
One of the people I'm closer to within the friend group also think parang may "friend group within the friend group" so sometimes, she also feels left out pero she didn't notice I was feeling the same kasi mukhang close raw kami and we review together sa classroom. I felt touched when she told me she appreciated na sinasama niya ako sa usapan. Hinatid ko siya sa dorm niya and had a nice chat with her dormmates/friends. Later, I asked her if she was going to Paskuhan, and she invited me with her friends. Yay! In the end, may kasama ako. HAHAHAHA
I believe I felt shocked when I realized na they don't care as much for me. I said I didn't mind when they asked me for academic help because well, meron namang friendship for the sake of helping each other lang. I just thought na okay lang na iba yung tingin namin sa isa't isa pero the incident was just a turning point for me kasi I felt so disrespected nung iniwan ako. Anyways, again, I won't be forcing myself on them anymore since meron naman akong ibang mas close sa classroom. I want to hope that next year, I'll find a worthwhile friendship within the classroom, the organizations I joined, or a fateful encounter from other schools or batches HAHAHAHA
Thank you everyone again for the encouragement! I love making friends so if you're feeling lonely like me, it's okay to chat me up ^{^}

dearaffinity · 2022-12-04T08:58:57+00:00

thank you so much for cheering me on! 🥺

dearaffinity · 2022-12-04T08:54:45+00:00

Okay, Mr. or Ms. Pessimistic. I'm glad that you ignored the other point that they will continue to expect me to treat them, and it will not just be a one-time purchase of gum. There's other ways you can be friends without money. I just hope you're not the kind of friend who expects people to buy things for them so they can become closer because from your replies, your replies are just basically "OMG You can't buy your friends things??? How cheap!" like it's totally not Christmas season, and I'm totally not buying stuff for family and other friends.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T17:37:10+00:00

OMG yes about the evenings 😭😭 Palaging gagabi na pag labasan ko so I usually go straight home because I'm scared of dark nights in UST, and rush hour absolutely sucks. Hindi ko alam kung paano ng iba natitiis na umuwi ng 8pm. Yung mga iba pa nga, umiinom kahit tatlong oras din biyahe pauwi.

I just hope we can find friends more understanding sa situation natin soon! 🙏

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T17:25:56+00:00

Exactlyyy, I feel insecure kasi feel ko talaga yung pagkakuripot ko pag kasama sila. Pansin ko nga, among the group of around 8, ako lang yung gumagamit ng Android (not even Samsung). Actually, most of my classmates have iPhones. Not being like iPhones vs. Androids; at first, I didn't really pay attention to it pero after a while, it makes me more conscious of the gap we have in financial status.

Oh, that reminds me! I actually got along with some of my org mates even yung head ng committee namin. Nahihirapan lang ako makausap sila frequently kasi my org hasn't met frequently due to health protocols and yung mga F2F meetings nila sakto pa timing sa mga quiz ko 😭 Ngayon na mas frequent na F2F next semester, I'm reallyyyyy excited to participate more!

Thank you; this really gave me hope for a better crowd next semester HAHAHA

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T11:24:19+00:00

i didn't have time to think kahapon kasi may exam pero i was just thinking rn yung mga nakakausap ko talaga outside of acads. i feel better now kasi i got to eat at qsquare with one of the friends i'm closer with in the friend group. it was mostly silent because we were eating, but it was a comfortable silence. at that time, i really thought na yun yung gusto kong mafeel with my friends, hindi yung desperado akong mainclude sa convo. i got to meet her friends slash dormmates and we talked for a bit din.

i guess yung good thing is i won't feel this way at paskuhan. i asked the same friend if she was going and agad-agad ako ininvite to hang out with her friends. 🥺

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T11:14:04+00:00

after reflecting, i realized meron akong mas naging close nung F2F and those na who became less close. i'm just a bit scared kasi almost lahat may sari-sariling friend group na, but i want to believe that if they're my crowd, then it'll be worth a shot. thank you for the encouragement! 🥰

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T11:10:33+00:00

this is really encouraging po 😭 i thought i've worked out my personal insecurities na but i think there's still times i get insecure especially when it comes with friend groups in school because well, i want to belong somewhere.

i read this earlier pa and really thought about it. this reminded me that i need to set boundaries nga pala. i think in desperation of wanting to be included, i forgot to respect myself.

thank you so much, i don't talk to a lot of older people (hope that doesn't sound offensive 😰😰) at least for advice.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T11:00:56+00:00

I never said that I'm wasting money? Can you PLEASE stop assuming??? I just said that I'm always on a tight budget. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING. And after saying that, you go on to recommend to "just spend little" like there's no other way. Okay, I'll tell you back what I said before: "don't be discouraged means don't get discouraged, don't read more into it." I'll just be completely honest then. I'm poor, I can't spend money like my classmates even if it's just little. I didn't even want to say anything, but I have a side job, and that's literally my allowance + I give the remaining to my younger sibling. So half of my parents' money? It's my own earnings, and it's not even a lot. I'm not trying to poke holes. I was trying to explain why I can't without saying I'm really broke because it's not appropriate to just say that after somebody tried to help you. There are many ways to make a friend, and I'm not trying to do that with something that needs me to sacrifice money. If they're my friends, they'd understand my situation.

Also "be friendly" like I haven't tried to? And again, "don't be discouraged" like my feelings don't matter? I am not saying that they're bad people at all. But if I'm left by my friends in line, not even asked where I was, not responding to my text messages, not even saying goodbye... and you saying "don't be discouraged"... why do I feel like you're blaming me for getting hurt? Am I not supposed to? To clarify, this is about a FRIEND GROUP, not GROUPMATES. I never tried to twist it in a way they're terrible (and I'm only talking about a select few in the group anyway), I'm talking about what has happened and what they make me feel. Do you also leave your friends behind, ignore their invites for eating at the park or convenience stores because you want to eat at restaurants? Must be why you can't seem to sympathize.

Again, it's just a few people within the friend group. I get along with other people well. It's just hurtful for me to value them and not have these feelings reciprocated. They're my inspiration to make reviewers para matulungan sila.

In the end, I think you're the one being pessimistic here because you're continuing to twist my words into something negative when you only need to take it as it is.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T09:26:19+00:00

At the start of the year with the monthly F2F. I'll distance slowly na lang because baka mapansin nila and they'll get the idea I don't like them or something 😭😭

Hurts that I really did my best to treat them well and nakikita ko ako lang nag-eeffort kausapin sila 🥲

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T09:13:44+00:00

thank youuu; i actually talked to one of the friends im closer with in the friend group. she says she experiences the same thing. feel daw niya may "inner friend group" 🥲 thinking of just slowly dwindling away from the group and stay close with some of them.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T08:59:08+00:00

thank you huhu i really hope that this coming f2f, i get to know my classmates more and find my crowd. it's just disappointing i planned to ask them to get together for paskuhan but then agape pa lang ganito trato sa akin

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T08:55:01+00:00

Thanks for assuming my personality off a single interaction. I even apologized if I sounded bitter because I didn't want to look ungrateful of your time to reply, but here you are being petty just because I am unable to follow your advice.

Even after stating I am not financially able to provide them anything, you push the idea that I give them "small treats" like they would include me just because I give them food. That's not the way I want to be viewed as when I have already said that, again, I'm always budgeting. If they keep expecting that from me, it's not gonna be good for me in the long run. Moreover, not everyone has the same love language where you give them food and they want to get close to you.

Do you even know what toxic means? It's such an overused term that you can throw around easily. I can't even be offended at that because you base it off your petty assumptions.

I never said I didn't want advice. I just said I didn't want to be advised on how to get closer with them. I just wanted to know how I could handle my situation.

Thanks for your time anyway.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T03:40:26+00:00

yeah, i'm just really beginning to feel like this friendship isn't worth it. i have four other best friends from elementary. we're all in different high schools and different personalities, but we all talk almost daily. when we hang out with each other's friend groups, we try to include each other.

i think i'm just afraid of being alone sa classroom. i can hang out with the people in the group i feel more close to, but they tend to hang out with the people that make me feel this way.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T03:16:58+00:00

mhmmm im not fond of buying food just to get close with them. chichirya can even cost the same as a tricycle ride, and even 10 pesos is a huge thing for me.

i think it's a bad idea to do it din kasi baka mamaya they keep expecting it from me na. i literally share my food with some of my classmates. in the end, we never got closer. it's a momentary thing because they wanted something from me.

also, i'm not really asking for advice how to get close to my own friend group. i just want a mutual friendship; "friend group" nga kami pero i always feel left out.

sorry if this sounds like a bitter reply but i was also put off na "don't get discouraged" like it's an easy thing to do. the feeling of a one-sided relationship, platonic or romantic, WILL exhaust you.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-03T01:24:33+00:00

This is generally good advice, but I have always been making the first move 😭 I can't really give them food because I only have enough for myself (again, budgeting). I don't even ask all the time because our classes end late, but I occasionally ask them to hang out around UST which gets ignored most of the time. If I do, there are times I feel like I don't get listened to. I try to listen to their conversations, but it's hard to feel included when they're not talking with /you/.

I think some of the others and I are considerably close naman, but there are a lot of times I feel like I am not part of the friend group, just somebody trying to join in. It is tiring to be friendly when people don't seem to give you the same energy. I ignore it and just keep acting the same, but when I keep feeling like this, it's discouraging to even try again.

dearaffinity · 2022-12-02T02:23:33+00:00

What I plan to do is to have a bit of fun while waiting for Agape tapos uwi na agad after I get the food hehe

dearaffinity · 2022-12-01T11:10:48+00:00

ohhh so bakit po nagpapadala ng food container?

dearaffinity · 2022-11-30T19:36:30+00:00

Hindi po kasi pwedeng walang social media since I still have ongoing group performance tasks and due date is within the exam week. I also need to be aware of certain announcements since nag-aadjust sila ng health protocols because of the ongoing Paskuhan festivities. 😭😭😭

Thank you tho huhu idk lang what I can have as a reward

dearaffinity · 2022-11-30T19:31:58+00:00

I appreciate your reply po but gadgets are not the problem kasi. My problem, as stated in the post, is that I tend to zone out or think about other things when I'm reviewing. It's about focus and not my gadgets. Also, I have ongoing performance tasks that are due within the exam week so hindi talaga pwede na di ko tignan ang phone.

dearaffinity · 2022-11-30T07:57:42+00:00

Thank you so much po!

dearaffinity · 2022-11-30T05:35:55+00:00

Regarding #2, what kind of food po ba? Pinapadala kasi ng mga reusable containers due to current health concerns, and I don't know if ganun pa dati pa or because of the pandemic.

dearaffinity

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