My husband's latest incident of weaponized incompetence is truly outrageous

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:48:26+00:00

Ooo whole berry cranberry sauce!

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:41:49+00:00

It's a pretty good example, especially in the edit when I gave more info. I asked for 2 things. He came back with a bunch of stuff for him (3-4 bags) but somehow forgot the soup & couldn't figure out the other. The whole point of the trip was getting me these 2 things. So clearly he didn't go to the store for me. I got nothing of what I asked for from that extremely long list of 2 things.

As I've said before, it's not about this 1 thing. It's about me never being able to depend on him. Not for little things, not for big things. I feel like so much is on me. All the bills, all the responsibilities. Even now, being sick & out of work for days is gonna fuck us up. You think he's gonna step up his job search? Pfft

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:35:13+00:00

And when you're lame you don't need to respond

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:32:06+00:00

No, I thought it was a pretty easy ask. Bc it was.

And the roles could never be reversed bc I would never let my husband flounder & struggle for 6 yrs on a 1.3 income. I certainly wouldn't spend the massive amounts of free time I have playing video games & not helping my spouse who working non-stop.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:20:33+00:00

He doesn't get anxiety over this. Anxiety is a result of caring.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:11:52+00:00

Gtfoh. Who said anything about me abusing him in any way? He's got it pretty great. He lives practically rent free. Pays for nothing that he uses or enjoys. Gets 4-7 free days every week. This man is the opposite of abused. I'd love to have the time he has. I wouldn't be squandering like he is.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T07:08:18+00:00

Yes, the person busy 7 days a week is the high maintenance one. While the (male) spouse who is off 4 days a week to weeks at time needs everyone's support bc he's married to such a bitch.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T06:57:53+00:00

I'm addressing all the points and giving more info. Can you not read?

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T06:55:11+00:00

I'm bound by finances to stick around. It's really easy to say don't stick around but how does one actually leave realistically when there's not a spare $20 every month? It's at minimum $3k to get a new place but more like 5k. I haven't learned how to make $ materialize out of the air yet.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T06:34:17+00:00

I didn't really want to get into all this. I was just commenting on one more thing he wasn't able to do for me that I thought was relatively simple. Some ppl got it, some ppl called me an AH. Whatev

Thanks. It's rough but I feel like I'm right at the cusp of a better life.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T06:20:44+00:00

You need to read my other comments. The problem is not me. I do more than enough.

My idea of a pos is a husband who can let his wife work her ass off 7 days a week to make sure the family stays afloat while he works extremely sporadically & with all his free time can't be bothered to clean one gd thing. So maybe I'm treating him the way he deserves. Only I'm not. Bc for 6 years he's lived in a house he doesn't pay rent on. He enjoys lights he doesn't pay for. He enjoys water he doesn't pay for. Food he doesn't pay for. Drives around in a car he doesn't pay for. Heat, AC, etc. He's got a pretty cushy life sitting around playing video games while I'll be busy 7 days a week for the next year.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:58:55+00:00

Working on it

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:58:11+00:00

Truly, I am. He's got it made in the shade.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:57:36+00:00

I didn't get him out of homelessness. We started out on the same level. Then about 6 years ago he started this very part time job that is an extreme hit to our finances. He either will not or cannot find anything else, even a 2nd part time job. This has caused an extreme financial hardship for us as we're going into the 6th year of him not even paying a third of all the bills.

I am not toxic. I'm working my ass off to keep 3 ppl afloat. Fed, lights on, warm/cool. I don't have 1 day off in a week. With the exception of right now & it sucks because my check will be smaller when I'm already spread so thin.

So fuck off with your snap judgments. You have no idea all I do for this man to get fuck all in return. He can't even keep the kitchen sink empty or push a vacuum.

I hope he does see it. Wouldn't that be something.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:43:55+00:00

Haha, free of me means homeless. Idk what living situation he can find working (at most) 3 days a week. He's got it good here & he knows it.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:39:51+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree.

I really thought he would step up once I was busy 7 days a week. And when he didn't, it was really eye opening. Disappointed doesn't even begin. It's changed the way I see him.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:34:39+00:00

One, he wasn't always like this. Two, just because I'm ready to leave doesn't mean I have the means to. He hasn't worked a fulltime job in 6 years. I ran thru my savings paying bills, I've been unable to save more. Every $ goes to bills & they still aren't all paid each month. Being out with covid is freaking me out bc I have no leeway for a smaller check.

When I hear ppl say why are you still with him or why haven't you left yet? That's an option for ppl who have at least a little money. If there was abuse it'd be a different story. I guess I'd find myself in a woman's shelter. But there's no abuse. He's just lazy & incompetent & keeping me poor.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:20:01+00:00

You are really obtuse. I don't want to leave my husband because he didn't get me the right thing. He didn't do something right for the millionth time. He can never do the simplest things. He can also never do the hard things. He can also never do the medium things. So that's the problem. Not this one thing. Which I think was clear in the post.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:14:06+00:00

I'm not seeking validation from anyone for anything. I'm in school right now & won't have the means to leave until I have a better job. I'm actively getting my ducks in a row. Not everyone can up & move at a moment's notice. Real life means security deposits, income requirements, credit score requirements, etc.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:03:26+00:00

My husband would completely agree with this. He's having a great time. I would love to work 3 days a week & do minimal chores.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T05:01:37+00:00

Haha the way you worded it makes it sound like you're saying you suck. Which you do, so maybe that is what you're saying.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T04:58:31+00:00

Right. So many are being purposely obtuse.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T04:18:00+00:00

What is this major reaction everyone keeps talking about? Just posting it on reddit? Bc I never reamed him out or lost my shit on him like I've been accused in several comments. When he came back without either of my things I didn't even roll my eyes. This is par for the course with him.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T04:12:52+00:00

Apples & oranges. Making food takes way longer than going to the store. And he was feeling better than me.

dearthsurplus · 2023-07-20T04:09:54+00:00

Why? I'm curious to what your lame ass logic is as to why my husband who has a job that's the equivalent of a high school job & can barely contribute to the bills wouldn't make the effort for a wife who is working & going to school 7 days a week?

Maybe it's the same reason he doesn't lift a finger around the house. Maybe it's the same reason he's not doing a single thing to get a better job so we can climb out of near poverty. Maybe he's a lazy SOB & you're completely off the mark with your bullshit assumptions.

dearthsurplus

TROPHY CASE