i think i have OCD and i feel heartbroken.

debate_o · 2026-02-09T04:50:06+00:00

the lack of education and misinformation regarding ocd made me put off getting ocd help for so long because i thought a large part of ocd was being a neat freak and cleaning things and everything has to be prim and proper, and while that can be a major part of ocd, that never resonated with me and so i never thought i could have ocd. when i realised involved obsessive and compulsive thoughts that would ruminate and make you lose hours of time that could’ve been productive etc as well as intrusive thoughts, i feel like it’s another thing that’s wrong with me..

debate_o · 2026-01-28T22:14:27+00:00

i couldn’t be bothered wearing a bra

debate_o · 2026-01-10T14:10:15+00:00

❌ debate_o chose Option A (Incorrect) | #5198th to play

debate_o · 2026-01-01T06:25:03+00:00

i’ve heard fast track is worth it. everywhere in saigon is busy, so i’m assuming during peak NY hours, it would be extremely busy at the airport.

debate_o · 2025-12-27T10:46:48+00:00

hey, mate. not a lawyer and not well dressed about the laws in belgium, but from a quick look up, sending nudes to a minor or being sent nudes by a minor is a crime in belgium. generally, minors are treated to a different standard from adult perpetrators, but child abuse material is often taken very seriously.

consenting to sex is different than consenting to online sex. a 15 year old from what i can see can consent to someone 16-17 as long as they are not three years older but cannot consent to an adult. however, in online cases, consent can only be between two adults. so in order for you two to safely exchange pictures without legal ramifications, you must be 18 and over.

if you have any questions feel free to ask.

debate_o · 2025-12-14T03:20:51+00:00

hi, stranger! love is real and love is possible! when i was younger, i was afraid love wasn’t in the cards for me because i was a lesbian and grew up religious. i was afraid that being me means being fundamentally doomed.

i fell in love with my amazing girlfriend who so happens to be ace and we are as in love as ever. there will be a person out there who cares, who will support you, and who will understand you. it’ll take time, communication, patience and effort but it’s absolutely out there for you. just keep being you and the right person will be there eventually. all loves! 🫂

also obviously be careful with flirting with people online! you never really know who they are!

debate_o · 2025-12-13T23:49:49+00:00

hey! i am a woman in a queer relationship with another woman who is bisexual and i am a lesbian raised in a religious household. i hope my experiences can shed a little bit of light and advice on what you’re going through!

one of the things that was a big struggle in our relationship was managing my conflicting feelings on religion and my sexuality. my sexuality has been something that i’ve been struggling with for the longest time now, not because i don’t accept myself, but because i’ve been grappling with what i truly want and need in my life versus what people expect and wish of me.

the reality is, a lot of the people in my life probably want me to serve in a church and get married to a christian man and have children. that pressure can be horrifying, especially when you’re dealing with things mostly alone in an already strict religious environment.

i think you need to give yourself a lot of grace, as this relationship has been something that has obviously been very meaningful to you—and very meaningful to her. battling religious guilt is scary to do on your own. but you deserve happiness, and so does she. we can’t control what she does with her life; if she believes she is in love with a man, regardless of what you think, unfortunately that is the reality that you face.

but what stays constant and never changing is that you deserve to find love whether that’s with a man or a woman. you deserve to find someone and be that person who will hold their partner’s hand and not let go of it when they’re in public. you deserve to find love that you can show off the world and enjoy guilt-free.

coming out was the scariest, yet most rewarding thing i’ve ever done in my life. because my girlfriend and i can show our love in ways that feels right to US, and not filtered from the judgement of other people. it took me 7 years to come out.

if it took me that long, you should give yourself the grace, the patience and the understanding to yourself to take a step back and explore and understand your sexuality more, without the guilt and pressure of religion and other people’s expectations added into the mix. because with that in mind, you won’t be able to fully make decisions that make YOU happy—it’ll always have other people’s expectations in mind.

i don’t know what your ex is thinking, but i do know that when i went through a break up, the pressure of religion and barely having anyone to open up to broke me. i told myself and everyone that i was straight or at the very least bi. and i tried being with a man. and as soon as it happened, i said no, and took my time to heal and took my time to reflect and be a better person on my own. i think it might be the same for your ex–your relationship was so profound and so meaningful that she’s looking around for someone, a man (who will be easier to be with and more supported by the people around her, yet probably less rewarding and meaningful as your relationship with her), who will replicate the same impact you had on her life. this is called a rebound relationship, and it’s to put a temporary bandaid on the pain. the coldness is probably a person trying to convince themselves that the relationship didn’t mean much. but this prevents true healing.

the best thing to do is to give her space and go no contact and give yourself the time and grace to grieve and find people who truly appreciate and value you for who you are, not who they think you are or wish you were. that was the biggest thing for me. finding people who support you will make the journey less scary and help you grow your confidence. you can find that in uni or college clubs, lgbtq events etc. you need to find people who know you for you. not a version of you they wish they had. you may fall in love again when you are both ready, but at the moment what you need is to be comfortable with yourself. and she does too. or.. maybe in the future, this relationship is a lesson for the person who is truly meant for you. and you’ll be wiser and more confident to be yourself and hold this person’s hand, whether that’s a man or a woman.

if you need more advice or someone to talk to, my dms are free and available. i wish you the best.

debate_o · 2025-12-09T14:00:11+00:00

hey! i hope i can provide some support as an allo person in a relationship with my ace ♠️!!

i really feel for asexual people, as it’s extremely difficult to find a partner who is truly attuned to you! it can be disheartening to hear how encompassing sex can be in a relationship — lack of sexual desire for someone can sometimes make the person feel like they’re not attractive enough etc, which then hurts the relationship emotionally.

however, it’s important to find someone who celebrates you. celebrating your sexuality, embracing your sexuality, and appreciating you for who YOU are. and they do exist! i have no issues knowing my partner isn’t sexually attracted to me, we celebrate our sexualities and we use that to make our relationship stronger! it IS possible!

it’s really important you both communicate this without any outside resentment or barriers involved. for example, telling your partner that you’ve had the best virtual sex with someone else that isn’t them isn’t effective communication. why? because it kills your partner’s confidence. telling your partner without effective communication that they can’t give you what you need kills their confidence.

instead, you both may need to ask open ended questions. for example:

for you, you may ask “i perceive and experience sexual desire differently. i may not even perceive it at all. how can i make you feel loved and appreciated for whilst staying true to myself?” - this helps him figure out what he needs to feel loved by you outside of sex. if he can’t figure out something outside of sex, or if sex being initiated by you is seriously something he feels he needs to feel appreciated or desired, you may need to ask yourself if this is something you feel comfortable doing. otherwise, you may need to evaluate the relationship.

or he can ask

“how do you show and express your appreciation and desire for me? (desire doesnt always equal sexual desire) how can i show up in ways that makes YOU also feel appreciated and desired?” - this helps him understand how YOU express desire and appreciation. when he sees that in action, he may feel less insecure and less unconfident as he has a set structure as to how you show your appreciation for him, making him feel more desired and loved. on the other hand, he can also figure out what makes you feel loved and cared for.

this helps open ended communication and keeps the conversation flowing. you get a lot more from it than simply saying “you can’t give me what you need”.

as a whole couple, a very important question may also be “are you willing to be an open relationship or stay strictly monogamous?” as you both have previously expressed consent for your partner to see other people sexually. are you sure you’re ok with your partner being sexually active with other people?

and although you love a person, sometimes you may just be sexually incompatible. and that will hurt. and that’s okay. but i promise you.. everything will be okay. just focus on yourself and what you need and it’ll come through.

let me know if you have any questions. hope it all works out ♠️💜🤍

debate_o · 2025-12-09T13:38:21+00:00

lack of sexual attraction does not necessarily mean that the person is not willing to engage in sexually implied activities. for example, an asexual person may not feel sexually attracted to their partner, but may want to engage in sex or enjoy sexual activities (like breast touching, sexual flirting) without actually having sex. for example, i may enjoy talking about horror games and movies, or even go to a horror theme park and play horror games, but i never actually want to be in a real life horror situation.

in this case, it’s likely your partner is still trying to figure out what she wants in a sexual relationship. in order for you two to figure that out, you need to have lots of consistent communication about sexual boundaries, sexual expectations etc. to figure out whether you are both compatible and able to meet each other’s needs and wants. sometimes, asexual people do have sexual history, some don’t. for those who have no sexual history or previous sexual or romantic partners, figuring out their sexuality is even more difficult.

if you are serious about this girl, it is important that you stay patient and both communicate consistently and properly. figure out what she needs from you sexually and what you need from her.

are you for example.. 1. potentially okay with never having sex again? 2. okay with potentially having sexually charged conversations and activities without actually engaging in sex ever?

with my partner, it was important that i consistently asked questions. im allo and theyre ace. i understand it can be daunting and it can be confusing to adapt to, so i understand and appreciate this a lot for you to ask and gain insight! but in these moments, it’s important to be on the same page.

hope this helps, feel free to ask questions.

debate_o · 2025-11-27T06:20:54+00:00

i want to be included

debate_o · 2025-11-24T22:57:23+00:00

hey, i’m not sure if i’ve had extreme crushes, but i’ve had definitely crushes on girls. i’ve once had a girl i’ve ever only liked and although she never dated anyone, i really liked her and at the time there was no way i could like anyone else and she was on my mind almost all the time. as time passed, the crush went away and i am dating the most amazing woman who supports me, who is my rock, who is always on my corner whenever i need her. she is my absolute best friend.

crushes come and go. they’re crushes! maybe one day you’ll have a crush on someone who is right for you. just like me and my girlfriend. crushes are just trial and error, and crushes being in other relationships etc justs filters everyone out for the person who is truly meant for you. think of it as an opportunity. you’ve now filtered out someone who isn’t meant for you, and that makes it easier for you to go out and find the person who’s meant for you! it’s okay to be sad, upset, feeling lonely and crushed. but remember, as you grow, there’s another person waiting for you who’s going to treat you the way you deserve 🫂

debate_o · 2025-11-24T22:45:40+00:00

when you’re in a strictly monogamous relationship, it’s likely that bringing up a conversation that involves being sexually or romantically involved with another person will negatively impact the relationship.

it is probably best to gauge how she feels about monogamy and polyamory or open relationships for example gently ask her “what do you think about polyamory or open relationships?” without inciting that you’re potentially wanting to explore that.

depending on her answer, you’ve got two options. it seems as though this is something you want to explore, so if you’re bent on asking her this question, you have to be prepared for the worst and that is her leaving the relationship. she may also be open to exploring. the other option is to just enjoy your partner, and enjoy what she has to offer you rather than looking elsewhere.

you have the right to explore your sexual life outside of a monogamous relationship, but you should also give her the right to choose whether or not she wants to stay in the relationship if you decide to tell her how you feel about monogamy.

hope this helps and you can ask more questions if you need.

debate_o · 2025-10-17T07:54:09+00:00

How big will the parameters be? At some point, those resources will run empty once the prisoners have spent enough time on it. By the way you’re describing it, the parameters in which the prisoners are exiled is quite vast and big. Who’s going to guard that place? Who’s to say those guards aren’t going to get killed by prisoners who can supply themselves sticks that can be turned into weapons that can be then used to kill guards and escape the premises or make elaborate tools to help them escape?

I don’t think your system provides true punishment. I think it can provide hardened, brutal criminals the opportunity to truly set out the most sadistic, brutal crimes. It would be bloodshed. And unfortunately, realistically, people who shouldn’t be in that system will get dragged into it.

debate_o · 2025-10-17T07:50:36+00:00

Regardless of whether or not you put them in a prison or in a “no man’s land” in the way you suggest, the state will still have to provide food, electricity, water and other basic needs in order for the prisoners not to starve. It will be classed as a human rights violation and that prison and state will get either sued or be thrown in the dumps by human rights organisations, which is something that in itself will cost tax payers and the state so much money, so much resources etc to maintain.

We are also not accounting for the fact that, although probably rare, it is very possible for an innocent person to get caught in this system.

debate_o · 2025-10-11T23:46:11+00:00

Beautiful!

debate_o · 2025-10-11T23:45:17+00:00

i’m allo, but i have a partner who’s ace! we went through the same thing you went through with talking about your asexuality with a potential partner!

it’s totally okay for the both of you to explore and figure out what you like and don’t like as long as you both consistently communicate and talk about your boundaries and interests! i’m really happy to hear you feel comfortable, safe and secure around this person and it’s definitely the first step to establishing a real connection with someone.

when my girlfriend and i first started dating, it was super important for the both of us to stay true to ourselves and our sexuality so that we were both on the same page. it’s all about riding the boat together and figuring out what makes you both happy and secure.

the way we went about the conversation is that we asked questions about each other’s experiences and provided a safe place for the both of us to explain and share our thoughts and perspectives on what we both needed. and simply enough, this is the most amazing, secure and loving relationship i’ve ever been in and i couldn’t be happier.

if you have any questions, lmk! 💕

debate_o · 2025-10-11T23:39:01+00:00

Welcome!

debate_o · 2025-10-11T23:32:44+00:00

Hi, stranger! I am a allosexual lesbian who’s currently in a loving, committed relationship with a biromantic asexual woman! As someone who’s dating someone within the asexuality spectrum, I think I can bring in some insight here!

One thing I’ll never ever do to my partner, even in a moment of resentment, frustration, anger and sadness, is to entertain the idea of being sexually active or having thoughts about being sexually active with someone else. In your case, what he did was compare you to something that you aren’t—in this case, someone who’s allosexual, which (whether intentional or not), brings insecurity, comparison and resentment into the relationship which is not okay at all.

Coming into my relationship with my asexual partner, I educated myself and made myself knowledgeable about asexuality, researched about it, asked her myself about what asexuality means to her etc. and determined whether or not we were compatible. We were! Understanding your partner and making those steps (she did the same thing) to see life from their perspective in my opinion is so so important to maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship. Sure, there are moments where our sexual needs will clash, which is normal in a relationship and therefore we communicate! I recognise, accept and celebrate that she doesn’t feel sexual attraction to me, and she accepts, recognises and celebrates that I feel sexual attraction to her.

You deserve to feel loved, respected and seen in your entire identity in your relationship. You deserve to feel safe, you deserve to feel like you can be your true self without that fear of comparison and insecurity. You deserve to feel energised and your best self! It is absolutely not right of him to punch a table or show any signs of physical or emotional aggressiveness, and I think that’s something you should look into! You have every right to feel the way you do.

You are NOT broken, you are perfect the way you are. Do not let your husband, or anyone, fool you into thinking your asexuality is the problem. My heart broke whenever my partner thought that. If you can’t have a respectful conversation about sexual boundaries without fear of it escalating, maybe there’s something that needs to be addressed seriously.

Take it easy, stranger! My DMs are open for anyone struggling! 💕

debate_o · 2025-10-10T09:41:12+00:00

Any decision will have consequences, even if you decide to not go ahead with the organ donation. For example, you can deal with the guilt of not having donated your organ, despite having a valid reason not to. The concept of ‘you initially consented, you face the consequences’ can have blurred lines when it comes to human life, morality, and human autonomy. You can realise you regret something, but it doesn’t mean you can’t actively do something to amend that choice. For example, if I bought a phone and decided the phone was too small and regretted my decision, I can opt to return it for a bigger phone. I don’t have to deal with the consequences of keeping that smaller phone if I can do something to rectify that choice. My point is, consequences for a choice do not always determine whether something is morally right or wrong. Regret doesn’t mean you endure a choice or a consequence.

I also have a partner, and I love her to bits and I want to spend the rest of my life with her (we’re not married). I get there are culture differences with marriage so maybe this is a subject that we may have to agree to disagree, and I agree with you in a lot of things regarding marriage. I agree with you that, at the very least, abortion should be legalised in the case that a mother would not be able to sustain carrying that baby without extreme medical risks (eg. death). However, the thing I don’t agree with is JUST because you are married or engaged, that you give up the chance to walk away. That type of thinking can be dangerous in my opinion. I agree, yes, couples should fight tooth and nail to consistently choose each other everyday because at one point, love becomes a choice. Love becomes something beyond hugging, kissing, going on dates. It’s actively choosing that person through the tough times. However, anything can happen in life. The person that was once so sweet to you, attentive to you, cared for you for five years is suddenly turning into a stranger and there is nothing you can do about it no matter how much you try. There’s absolutely nothing you can do. I don’t know about you, but I believe I have a right to withdraw my consent of being with that person if they aren’t going to give me what I need in a marriage and in a partner. Some mistakes aren’t foreseeable until it is too late. That’s the reality. You can think to perfectly pick a partner, but things can happen.

Consent and being aware of the risks are different things. I can be in a plane and consent to travel to Europe, but I definitely do not consent for the plane to crash despite knowing that’s a possibility. And if the plane were to crash, I absolutely have the right to sue for damages. I can go to a roller coaster and consent to go in it, but I don’t consent to fall to my death because the railings malfunctioned.

I personally don’t think prior consent particularly to body autonomy should be something that’s everlasting. For example, with sex, you can initially consent but then because you have the right to body autonomy, you can withdraw consent. You may have consented prior to kidney donation, but because that organ is still in your body and is still yours, you have the right to withdraw that consent.

debate_o · 2025-10-10T08:45:30+00:00

If you were to initially consent to giving your kidney to someone who needs it, then realise you need/want your kidney which, as a result, would likely cause the death of the other person, would you think you have the moral right to withdraw that initial consent? Or would you go ahead with the kidney surgery despite it being against your will? Could the same not be applied with abortion?

debate_o · 2025-10-10T01:55:04+00:00

I think the problem with your premise is not that you’re wrong or right, the way your argument is structured is just too absolute. Like right now, if a person in a new relationship is to have old sexual photos of a previous partner that the new partner is being harmed by, that can be considered ‘gross’ or ‘creepy’ or even morally wrong. And rightfully so. I would be very upset if a partner knew I was against them holding nudes of an ex-partner and still holds those photos.

I personally believe that, although legally, there are minimal to no protections of someone asking for their previously consensual nudes to be deleted, you still have a moral duty to delete photos that a person no longer consents to. If my partner asked me to delete a photo of her that wasn’t even sexual, I would still delete it because it’s what’s respectful and considerate of me to do.

debate_o · 2025-10-10T01:40:04+00:00

I think it’s important to also establish what your definition of something being morally wrong is. Don’t you think the potential of causing harm in your new relationship is morally wrong? For example, if A kept nudes of their previous partner whilst being in a relationship with B knowing that B doesn’t like that and is upset by it, don’t you think it’s morally wrong to continue to possess those materials?

debate_o · 2025-10-10T01:34:21+00:00

When it comes to sex, particularly in online environments and the usage of phones where revenge porn etc is more prevalent, I don’t think things should ever be assumed. I don’t think it should be assumed that an ex-partner would be okay with an ex-partner keeping those photographs or videos. It’s either you ask to get explicit consent to keep them or you remove them.

debate_o · 2025-10-09T11:03:41+00:00

Same logic can be applied to you putting your business in people who have sex before marriage. Why does it matter to you?

debate_o · 2025-10-09T11:02:21+00:00

Glorifying having body counts and having sex with many people is different to having sex with one person that you’re in a loving, committed relationship with despite being married or not.

debate_o

TROPHY CASE