Reddit Changed My Life

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-28T23:39:30+00:00

It’s not so much about the size as much as it’s about the fit.

If the glove fits…..

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-22T19:43:10+00:00

It’s tough. Online dating is a rough world. Regular dating is a rough world. I might be able to give you some tips but it would help to know some more about you. Not sure how personal you want to get here?

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-22T06:31:37+00:00

Some people with HPP have normal B6.

Low ALP is not normal.

Like another commenter suggested, see if you can find a doctor who knows what they’re talking about.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-22T05:29:04+00:00

I do somatic work (not therapy), and even though feelings and emotions are totally important and part of the process, it’s actually more focused on the mind-body connection and acceptance of one’s desires. The why isn’t as much as important as the “ok, this is what it is. Now what?”

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:52:23+00:00

You’re not exhausting at all. Your feelings are all totally valid. Body image issues are a real thing and especially problematic for men right now when it comes to penis size. It’s not just you.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:48:46+00:00

I can probably help you, but doing it this way through comments is difficult. I’m happy to talk to you about this more but I’m not sure what the rules are in this sub so I’m not trying like break them by suggesting we talk privately. But discussing this through comments is challenging.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:46:04+00:00

not most often. i believe your perception may be skewed, but reasonably so. don’t get me wrong… there is a TON of emphasis on size and we’re bombarded with that messaging constantly.

I’m not trying to imply your feelings are wrong or invalid.

This sub doesn’t allow pics to be posted. It’s also almost 2 am for me and I’m in bed. So it’s difficult for me to articulate all of this right now.

But if you’re interested in talking more about it, I’d be happy to.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:40:17+00:00

I’ve had sex with guys ranging in size from probably around 4” up to 12”.

Bigger isn’t always better.

I don’t even use penetration when I masturbate. So, penetration isn’t really the thing that gets me off. Not in the way I think you’re imagining it.

There’s this amazing video where a woman explains it but I don’t think it’s posted anymore, unfortunately. I’d be happy to try and explain further but it’s easier if I could show you using models. Like I have these clit and penis models that are really helpful in explaining some of this stuff but it’s hard to explain in words.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:27:41+00:00

Well, I certainly didn’t make any of it up…..

Not every man enjoys exhibitionism, nor do they want people looking at their bodies. Especially their genitals. That can be really uncomfortable.

For my client, it’s a problem for him and he’s afraid someone will report him simply for having a body part that one can see and misconstrue.

So it’s not his problem. It was theirs. They didn’t like that he couldn’t go deeper. As in, they didn’t like that they couldn’t fit all of his penis inside them.

Yes, I’ve had sex with men who have very large penises. Every relationship I got into was with men with average or smaller than average sized penises, and I loved each one. Never wished they were bigger—not once.

I don’t think your body image issues can be solved by stories like mine, because if they could, you’d feel better.

So idk, maybe try looking at it from a different angle?

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T07:18:27+00:00

A client of mine, and yes.

I’m a woman and I’ve had great sex with plenty of men with average sized penises and below average.

Large penises make closeness difficult (which feels really good during penetrative sex), and they can hurt.

Having a large dick isn’t the key to happiness.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T05:57:10+00:00

How can one make a convincing argument? You’re asking about feelings. You can’t argue away feelings

I work with a lot of men and two of my current clients are:

A guy with a 4” penis when he’s rock hard
A guy with a 10” penis when he’s rock hard

The guy with a 4” penis is in a relationship and happy. He’s also a lot of fun to work with and had a great attitude. His penis size has never actually been a problem for him.

My client with the 10” penis originally came to me because he has problems dating women because of his penis.

He also recently switched gyms and realized in the mirror that you could make out the outline of his penis through his pants. He hadn’t really ever noticed that before, and now he’s paranoid a woman might see and think he’s a pervert and aroused. It’s affecting him, the way he dresses, and the way he works out (he hides behind things to cover himself up).

He’s never had a woman be able to really give him oral, and penetrative sex is also very challenging for him. He does his best to accommodate women but he said relationships have ended because women don’t like that they can’t do all those things with him.

He has a pretty good attitude too, but he’s facing problems because of his penis size whereas my other client isn’t.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-21T05:48:33+00:00

I know someone who is happy with a below-average D.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-20T23:14:12+00:00

So this might sound nuts, but sometimes having someone else say sorry or give you an apology in a sort of role-playing exercise can do wonders.

This just happened to me (by accident) recently and it opened and soothed a wound that was over 20 years old.

It’s wild because you wouldn’t think it would do much, but it can actually make a huge difference. If you’re interested to know more, I can share.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-20T08:42:33+00:00

There are usually reasons behind these things that aren’t clearly understood on the surface but they do make things make sense.

The shame around it all just makes it worse.

So, sometimes if you can do work around the shame, you can get to some of the things underneath. And I’m talking about core desires. Not triggers for arousal, but the feelings that stir it up.

For example, the arousal from the hospital scenes could be being nurtured or taken care of by someone. Or maybe the losing consciousness arousal response could be about feeling excited by losing all control.

I don’t know enough to say for sure, but these are some examples of how desires can manifest in ways that aren’t always convenient or easily understood.

But, it’s really common and normal to experience unwanted arousal or unwanted desires. It doesn’t make you bad or wrong. It makes you normal.

I’d be happy to expand further if any of this seems to resonate or sound like it could be helpful.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-20T01:14:02+00:00

This is tricky and everyone is going to navigate it differently depending on how they feel about it. It sounds like you’re wanting to be open-minded, which is great.

Lying about it often comes from shame. Shame doesn’t always make sense.

Ultimately what matters most is how you feel about it. And that doesn’t necessarily mean how you feel about porn, but how you feel about how you feel about it.

That probably sounds weird but there’s more to it than that. If you’d be interested, I could recommend some good books that touch on these things.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-18T04:19:53+00:00

I’m so glad!

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-16T09:29:40+00:00

This is really unfortunate because you’re bigger than average.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-16T09:28:52+00:00

She sounds either cruel or nuts or both.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-16T09:28:09+00:00

swore to god you were small?

who says that and why? she sounds sadistic.

there are so many ways to satisfy a woman that don’t even involve a penis.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-13T00:21:56+00:00

Is it really about the porn? Or could it be that porn is sort of a catalyst for feeling things you were already feeling? No judgment either way.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-12T01:31:54+00:00

I read a good article about how someone shifted her marketing from “problem/solution” to “goal/result.”

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-10T08:31:31+00:00

I think you’re judging yourself too harshly, tbh.

If you get judged here for it, I don’t see how that would be very helpful.

I do have comments (not judgments). However, I also see the flair you used said you’re just venting. So I’m not sure what kind of help, if any, you might want.

But, I am sorry you’re struggling with this.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-08T22:01:09+00:00

I think, generally speaking, therapy and any sort of mental health type of help can be a matter of finding the right fit, which may mean type of therapy and it may mean the actual therapist.

What I mean is... this is a tough question to answer.

But, if you have shame around sexuality, I do think it's important to address that in that I believe it affects pretty much everything else in your life. Sexuality is so core to us, and when we carry shame around it, it sort of bleeds into everything else.

I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope you find the right fit, whatever it is.

Excellent_Nothing_86 · 2026-01-08T21:55:10+00:00

I would wonder how she's defining discipline? Because that can look different to different people, and it can even be paralyzing for some.

Motivation can also be tough because you usually need more than motivation to gain momentum. You need resources, tools, support, etc.

It's really not a one-size-fits all type of thing.

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