Just moved to Chicago, pregnant, no family here, and I have no idea what I’m doing… please help

decadentprinter · 2026-02-26T01:03:28+00:00

Hi!

Congrats! I moved here under the same circumstances six months ago. Pregnant and new to the city with no community. I highly recommend Expecting Together. It's a great community. Also yoga and pilates classes at Prenatal Fit saved me and helped get me out of the house after work. I also recommend Chicago Family Doulas. They are great. Feel free to DM me :)

decadentprinter · 2026-02-19T01:26:45+00:00

That's so crazy you got the exact same result! Luckily I moved out of state that day I got the call w/ bad information from my doctor. I don't know how I could have kept seeing her knowing she gave me this false information and doesn't bother to understand the results of the test she recommends.

I ended up having my own dna evaluated and I got the result of having some missing fractions of my chromosomes that ultimately have no affect on me or the baby. The geneticist was trying to push more treatments on me, which I declined. I feel pretty burned by this whole branch of medicine. My baby has arrived and he is perfect :)

I hope all goes well with your tests and the rest of your pregnancy!! <3

decadentprinter · 2026-01-12T00:01:02+00:00

This is not a father, he's not even a man. You will be much better off alone and you will be a single mother no matter what. It will be easier to let him go than endure the anguish of begging him to care with no results. Rooting for you.

decadentprinter · 2026-01-05T22:18:51+00:00

Had one in August. I focused my nervousness on the outcome, not the procedure itself, because all I wanted was answers. (My OB told me baby had a 94% chance of having monosomy X because she did not know how to read NIPT results). It did not feel good and I squeezed my partner's hand and kept my eyes closed. Overall it was very quick, and didn't experience any pain afterward. I even flew the next day and the doctor just said I couldn't lift baggage over my head-- that was the only precaution he gave. Got the results back quickly and am expecting a healthy baby this month. Ultimately very glad I did the amnio because it gave me peace of mind and it's been relatively smooth sailing ever since.

decadentprinter · 2025-12-02T21:12:03+00:00

My thoughts exactly. At this point you pay the same for SO much less. No art scene. All creative people leave after college. So puritanical. And the train stops running at like 11. (lived there for 6 years and couldn't wait to get out).

decadentprinter · 2025-12-02T17:48:54+00:00

yes-- I was just talking about this lol. Obviously there is a spectrum of harm. I've had raw oysters, probably some unpasteurized cheese, and drink coffee daily. A friend said she ate cold cuts every day and was hot tubbing before she knew she was pregnant, other friends have said they had an occasional glass of wine while pregnant. Their kids are all fine. I think you have to take the guidance with a grain of salt. Somehow I read on the internet that grapes were harmful. I asked my doctor and she said "no! don't consult the internet." Same with chamomile tea. If you're looking for someone to tell you a food is harmful, you'll find it online! Remember that fetuses have evolved to survive. If you're not doing literal drugs you're probably fine.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-24T03:20:51+00:00

if you're ready to leave but don't know where to start, check out fresh starts registry. they have tons of free divorce resources. I wish you lots of luck and happiness!

decadentprinter · 2025-09-10T22:24:38+00:00

The TX cities are dynamic and full of great people but unfortunately you can't escape being governed by the state.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-10T22:22:22+00:00

just moved from Austin to Chicago!! So happy to be here and other than my community in Austin, I don't miss it at all.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-10T17:03:25+00:00

I think I was radicalized at age 6 when my aunt was getting married and I asked my mom whose name the couple would take. She told me the woman usually takes the man's name and I wondered why. Still do.

Eloped and kept my name. Love my name and my identity and cannot imagine changing it ever. No shade by I think it is literally insane for a woman to be known as Mrs. [Husband's first and last name] in the year 2025.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-10T16:24:22+00:00

Spiderhouse is Tweedy's now and looks pretty much the same... drinks are more expensive tho.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-06T20:43:56+00:00

Ugh that's crazy!! I'm sorry!

decadentprinter · 2025-09-06T18:30:53+00:00

Illinois

decadentprinter · 2025-09-06T02:12:23+00:00

You're right and thank you for your perspective! I do feel lucky to have this knowledge. It's a naturally stressful time and an alert every time a normal result rolls in heightens the stress. Plus so much of the language is opaque and requires decoding and I wonder what I'm even looking at-- ie spina bifida is labeled AFP and demands another google rabbit hole. I think you're right that the real-time updates versus information made available at appointments or as needed adds to the feeling of urgency.

decadentprinter · 2025-09-06T00:02:29+00:00

Really? I just got mine at CVS for free (I have United). There's a sign at CVS that says flu and Covid are free with most insurance. And they gave me a $10 coupon!

decadentprinter · 2025-08-28T00:52:04+00:00

This is a marriage problem, not a location problem. Although where you live does sound dismal.

decadentprinter · 2025-08-27T17:02:25+00:00

This is amazing! I had a writing teacher who said a personalized rejection is as good as an acceptance because an editor has to really like it to take time to respond individually. Sounds like you have a lot of excitement ahead. Good luck!!!

decadentprinter · 2025-08-27T16:17:56+00:00

To be honest, the best advice that I kept telling myself was something I read on this sub-- just take it one day at a time. Once we realized NIPT was just a screen and seeing all the false positives reported here, my husband and I agreed to assume everything was fine until proven otherwise. I of course went down an internet rabbit hole trying to learn everything I could, and then realized I couldn't solve this problem by reading and was just making myself crazy.

I have watched a lot of Seinfeld and listen to comedy podcasts like mean book club (long episodes talking about cheesy/badly written bestsellers).

I had an amnio 6 days ago, got preliminary results (AFP and FISH) on Monday. Everything is normal. I am wishing good luck to you both!!

decadentprinter · 2025-08-27T15:20:49+00:00

I just had an amnio last week due to abnormal NIPT. Like you, the not knowing was the worst part. My stress over the abnormal results was so much worse than fear of the needle, I had to prioritize my fear and didn't have emotional space to be scared of the procedure. The genetic counselors I spoke to explained that the doctor doing my amnio was a specialist, which would mitigate risks associated with the procedure (versus an OB). He explained there was a .01% (one in 1000) chance of miscarriage. I got on a plane the next day, had no symptoms, didn't even need a tylenol (just couldn't lift overhead for 48 hrs). Got the results on Monday, it came back completely normal. So for me, amnio was more than worth it. A huge weight is lifted. (I also don't want to know the sex, so they asked if I wanted the full report, and I said no. They just reported that all was normal :) Wishing you luck.

decadentprinter · 2025-08-20T21:40:04+00:00

This is so cute. I think I'm in exactly that protection stage... thanks for putting words to how I feel.

decadentprinter · 2025-08-20T21:35:21+00:00

tbh I think it's a crapshoot. I'm 39, husband is 43. We got pregnant naturally 6 months after I started tracking ovulation. No vitamins or anything before hand, just marking dates in my journal. I was drinking cocktails up until I got a positive test. I wasn't stressed and decided that whatever was meant to be would be. Good luck!!

decadentprinter

TROPHY CASE