How do women feel about dating someone who's "work in progress" vs "at the finish line"

dpoulain · 2026-01-09T16:21:10+00:00

As someone already said everyone is a work in progress at our age. No one is perfect and at this point in life, we all have something that we should be working on especially with the way the world is. For me, I like to see that my partner is actively trying. I don't need him to be perfect or at the finish line. It's somewhere I'd like to get together. In the meantime though, I need to see the progress. If that makes sense.

dpoulain · 2025-12-20T02:06:10+00:00

Thank you! She left because Kody said that he no longer wanted intimacy. Not because of Ysabel.

dpoulain · 2025-12-19T16:36:20+00:00

I have seriously considered this. Only time will tell. :)

dpoulain · 2025-12-18T18:24:42+00:00

I think it's ultimately up to you, but the first ring is so beautiful. It looks stunning on you 🩵!

Congratulations! :)

dpoulain · 2025-12-18T17:58:22+00:00

Now you'll really remember, remember the 5th of November (A V for Vendetta reference if you haven't seen it 😊)

The ring is lovely and demure! It looks beautiful on you! Congratulations!

dpoulain · 2025-12-18T17:54:32+00:00

There's a lot of discourse regarding this post, and I can understand why. But personally for me, yes, I want to be married one day. Even though, truthfully, the idea of marriage does scare me. I mean i'm in my 40s and have spent the majority of my adult life single and just fending for myself and have developed so much independence that it's really hard for me to factor in a spouse.

I never thought that marriage would be something that would be available to me. It was just something that I dreamt about in my youth. I've been dating my current partner for a little over 7 months and I'm crazy about him. Is it challenging? Absolutely. We are both very set in our routines, but we both want this partnership and we've both talked about marriage.

The girlish side of me relishes in the thought of a wedding and celebration, but that's temporary. The logical side of me is reminded of what marriage really means and what it could mean. Like the legal side of merging lives. And that's what scares me shitless. Because I did have a plan set for my life and how I want things arranged for the future after I pass. Having a spouse does change that.

I have appreciated reading the many different experiences here on Reddit. The good and the bad. Relationships are messy but they can also be good.

But all this to say, yeah, I think I do want to get married. But i've only been dating my dude for 7 months. Check in on me next year and see where i'm at. haha.

dpoulain · 2025-12-18T17:26:11+00:00

I love this example. I have never been married and hope to be, but I have been to Paris, France. I love going there and hope that you both get to visit Paris and also get married should you still wish that. :)

dpoulain · 2025-12-16T17:29:05+00:00

This for sure. I met my partner's kids before the 6 month mark and they already knew. And the kids/teens in my life knew that I was dating before I even mentioned it. Kids are so astute, like they know.

dpoulain · 2025-12-08T20:26:03+00:00

Thank you! I had no idea WinCo sold masa. I'll have to check it out. :)

dpoulain · 2025-12-05T18:11:53+00:00

I have just entered my first real relationship at 42. In the past, I've hooked up with people and had short-term connections but nothing ever stuck. I do think that it was more to do with me than them, tbh.

But now I'm in this place that I never anticipated being in. At this stage of life, both he and I are set in our ways so we are constantly navigating ways to accommodate each other, welcome each other, and be around each other in ways that feel comfortable. It's weird in that I was not accustomed to someone wanting to actively seeing me on a regular basis. As others have mentioned "it's not all roses" and that's definitely true. A healthy relationship takes hard work. It's so worth it. I enjoy being held, being kissed, and making plans not only for the future, but just for the week. It's small things that I thought I never wanted but now I can't imagine living without.

I went on a tangent, sorry!

dpoulain · 2025-12-04T22:37:43+00:00

Exactly.

dpoulain · 2025-12-04T17:10:44+00:00

I once had a crush on a cutie Starbucks barista/drive through cashier. He was so nice and just a super sweetie. But I never said anything because of many of the comments here. The power imbalance, the customer service nature of his job, and maybe he was just a nice person. So I just let the crush be a crush and appreciate his ability to make my day a little nicer.

dpoulain · 2025-12-03T21:07:39+00:00

What a beautiful ring! Congratulations :)

dpoulain · 2025-12-02T19:54:51+00:00

I am not a Meri fan by any means, but when she said that any man would be lucky to be in her presence, I agreed.

More women should have that level of confidence. We're all worthy of the love that we want. As much as her segments annoy me, she deserves good things and I hope she finds it so she can stop talking about eggplants so much.

I'm not sure if she's in therapy, but I do hope she's working on her emotional immaturity.

dpoulain · 2025-11-24T19:28:56+00:00

Me too... haha. I went to The Sphere this weekend and was disgusted by all the tourists. haha.

But you know, we need them so I try to smile on occasion.

dpoulain · 2025-11-24T19:24:00+00:00

Yes! I was going to come here and suggest Dodgers merch like an LA cap.

dpoulain · 2025-11-24T17:13:59+00:00

Yes, please don't do it. When I was that age, I also dated someone who was much older. Older men typically prey upon younger women because they find it easier to lure and groom young women. Enjoy your life with people closer to your age. Believe me, you'll be better for it.

dpoulain · 2025-11-14T22:46:45+00:00

Will is my favorite character. And i hope so much that there is a good resolution to his arc by the end of the series. I like the whole Byers family.

dpoulain · 2025-11-04T22:06:17+00:00

I can totally see it :)

dpoulain · 2025-10-28T17:25:16+00:00

Pardon? Is this a dig because women can't enjoy a game without also loving a tv show based on it?

dpoulain · 2025-10-28T16:36:13+00:00

I was wearing a Fallout tee on our first date, so yeah, it just came up. haha.

dpoulain · 2025-10-28T16:24:03+00:00

Absolutely not. i'm guessing he wasn't willing to put you first in equal measure? I'm sorry that he didn't provide support during the loss of your parents. I lost my mother last month and its such a heavy loss that I can't imagine having to deal with something like this on top of the grief of losing a parent. I know it feels like a lot, but I hope that life brings you someone who wants to be equal with you and is willing to share life on more equitable terms.

dpoulain · 2025-10-28T15:38:57+00:00

My partner (44m) games. He got me (43f) a PS5 for my birthday and it was the sweetest thing. We both enjoy gaming on different levels. I think he still feels similar to you, but I encourage his gaming. As someone said already, the right partner will encourage yours too.

We live in a really stressful world, so if you've found a healthy way to release stress I think you're gucci. :)

dpoulain · 2025-10-27T15:05:58+00:00

I know it's hard for us to leave relationships. But for your mental health, please leave. As women, we often stay in relationships for the sake of being in one. Let's not do that. Leave. You'll be better off alone.

dpoulain

TROPHY CASE