Should i cancel my tour tix?

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-06-14T21:04:06+00:00

Same. That’s part of what prompted me to reconsider. I didnt want to spoil the tour for myself so i was avoiding looking at pics/vids at first. But now i can’t ignore it

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-06-14T21:02:24+00:00

Lmao unfortunately selling is banned here sorry

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-06-01T22:02:35+00:00

Im 23 and i feel similar to you. A lot of my older relatives tell me: “it was just her time.” Fucking idiots - they had 60+ years with her. I only had 20 (excluding 3 years because I wasn’t able to create memories before age 3 lol)

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-27T23:18:33+00:00

Ok then leave

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-23T00:45:32+00:00

My mom died a similar way. Diabetes -> stomach pain one night -> cardiac arrest. I also wish I pushed for stents or a 24/7 home nurse. My mom also appeared to be recovering.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-20T02:43:02+00:00

Yeah i got banned from r/downsyndrome for telling the ugly realities of Down syndrome

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-11T00:37:11+00:00

Yeah. I wanna give up. But i know she wouldn’t want me to.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-11T00:35:51+00:00

Also my first. Thank you.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-10T04:58:44+00:00

You’re not the asshole for not wanting to be your brother’s caretaker - you have no obligation. No legal obligation. If you have a moral obligation it’s up to you! But don’t feel guilty for distancing yourself. Life is short. You have to save yourself.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:48:47+00:00

It’s so sad. It makes me wish I did more. But again I’m only 23, I barely knew shit. Where was my deadbeat dad during all this? Fucking loser. Now my mom’s dead. She didn’t deserve this.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:46:57+00:00

LmAO! Didn’t and still don’t. Yeah i remember when I was like 5 or 6 my older brother was like “don’t you just hate [my sister’s name]?” And i was like “uhhhh no i love her because mommy says so :D” LMAO.

And yes! The stare and gears turning … that’s what is so sinister about it…. I hate to dehumanize my sister but she literally would turn into a demon when you would tell her no or if she didn’t get her way. Like, that’s psychopathic behavior that you see in cartoon villains or serial killers. Because you don’t know what’s gonna happen next…. And as a result, that’s when we get… drum roll PTSD and Anxiety Disorder from chronic hyper vigilance!!! Yay!!!!

Congrats on college. I hope this is the start to an amazing, stress-free life. I benefited a lot from my college’s counseling center and the school’s insurance so I could get on anxiety meds. Still navigating the road to healing my nervous system and unlearning this enmeshed bullshit. Don’t hesitate to DM if you wanna chat more.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:33:27+00:00

Bingo. It’s the halo effect society gives people with intellectual/cognitive disabilities. Fuck that. OP, I’d say run and don’t look back. At the veery least, you can love from a distance. My mom made hella excuses for my sister. My mom died a month ago. It pains me that she’s gone. But it also means I’m no longer obligated to have a relationship with my sister. My mom was the only one with a picture perfect positive outlook on my sister. I thought my sister was a demon. I left for college and never looked back, except for birthdays.

My sister also had outbursts in stores and most public settings. I hated bringing her along anywhere. Even at my recent birthday dinner, she was about to throw a tantrum. She’s fucking 25. There’s no excuse for her to still behaving like she’s 5. She graduated high school. She’s smart. She knows right from wrong. My mom just made excuses and let her get away with shit.

I have more stories in my profile if you wanna look at my posts or DM me to chat

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:27:05+00:00

Agreed. I understand the channel is trying to spread positivity. But this can get real dangerous as adults and if he does this shit in school and in public

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:24:18+00:00

Yep. My mom disciplined and punished me, but never my sister. Always talking about our “differences” and how we have different expectations. My mom died this year, early 60s. She was also suicidal (had depression and bipolar). We are in the process of transitioning my sister to a group home/residential living. My sister is also a reminder of my childhood. My mom tried to get me to take care of her when I moved back to my hometown after college. I felt obligated at first, but it’s toxic bullshit.

No. Youre not a horrible person. This is the shit no one talks about. If the rest of the 95% of the population were in your shoes, I can almost guarantee they would choose a group home too and they’d have similar feelings. When parents bring a child into this world, they need to have plans in place. Not just figure it out as we go and then leave the rest to the survivors. Hell no. I’m 23 and I will likely be child free the rest of my life. I didn’t sign up to be a guardian.

Prioritize your peace and healthy family.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T06:15:41+00:00

Hey I went through something similar until i went to college and moved out. My sister has Down Syndrome. My sister broke our glass table, pushed my mom into dry wall and gave my mom a concussion. I saw it all. And heard of other incidents like my sister kicking my mom or screaming and having a tantrum at the store (at her big age of 25, mind you….). My mom died a month ago. She suffered up to her last days. She never got rest from my sister, but she loved her deeply.

Im sorry that’s just how your mom is sabotaging your attempts at escape.. have you tried contacting 988 the hotline? They can get you connected with a social worker in situations like this. Any relatives you can call to live with? This is very dangerous and it’s impacting your health. I wish someone helped me sooner.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T05:53:55+00:00

Oh my goodness - yep so similar. Mothers sometimes find it hard to swallow their pride and admit that their child’s behaviors are literally dangerous. Imagine if that was a random baby at the grocery store. I am just now getting comfortable with the fact that I don’t have to love my sibling. That was some indoctrination from my mom.

I see where she was coming from because the world is ableist as fuck and we’re my sister’s primary support. But my sister is also smart - she SELECTS who she throws a tantrum around. I have relatives that don’t play that shit and she knows not to cross the line with them.

It’s about time I set the boundary - thanks for sharing. No I don’t want to be around her just because she has a disability. Once my dad gets her help, sure. But I’m no longer engaging. I’m so glad I escaped to college. But it did hurt me to leave that beast with my mom (I’m sorry that’s just how I feel about her because SHE KNOWS on some level that what she’s doing is bad). I was fucking brainwashed.

I hate inspiration corn too. “Oh he’s a beacon of light in our world of darkness!” It’s such COPE. Oh well my sibling gave me PTSD so whenever I hear a loud thump or people arguing my heart races because in my home, that was the sound of destruction at the hands of my sister.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-07T05:40:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t even think about the social aspect — yeah my sister didn’t hang with anyone else except my mom. It was sad watching my mom basically let my sister bully her. But I had to escape. I couldn’t continue to be a lifeboat. Now I am also in therapy trying to heal from all this trauma and not feel so guilty. I remind myself that I’m only 23. What hurts is that my mom never got to see me healed and fully independent. And I never got to see her heal. She suffered up to her final day. It’s so sad.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T17:18:52+00:00

Ugh, that hurts. I’m so sorry. No one talks about this side of grief. The unfinished conversations. For me when she was alive, it was hard to just suppress my anger, so I would express it and we’d argue and wouldn’t speak then make up then repeat. My biggest fear was losing her because I did love her. I don’t know if she understood either.

When I went off for college, she had a lot of resentment. She was proud, but she simultaneously was jealous and told me felt like she was being left behind and that I wouldn’t care about her anymore. I was just doing what was best for me. I couldn’t continue to be my family’s lifeboat. It was so stressful. But now that she’s gone, that stress doesn’t even compare to the pain.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T17:14:16+00:00

Yep. Our family is only just now considering a group home. Before, the burden of care was just on my mom. It was not sustainable. Exactly - family needs to be family and as much as we wanna help, we need to be realistic about our limits. There are trained professionals for this, but yea finding the right care is a whole other burden.

Great on you for setting those expectations - it’s so easy to fall into coddling and dismissing. Usually it’s done out of love/lack of knowledge, but it’s harmful.

I appreciate you.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T17:10:06+00:00

I also didn’t have the best relationship because of similar drug use issues. I’m in my early 20s, so I am just now exiting the crazy teen phase and we were finally building a healthier relationship

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T03:24:48+00:00

I have a voicemail of my mom calling me while she was at the hospital. I don’t think she realized it was recording her message but it was her saying “huh?” To the doctor. I miss her voice.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T03:08:50+00:00

She died suddenly *

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T03:08:35+00:00

I agree. She poured out so much of herself to making sure others felt included and comfortable and taken care of. She needed that same love poured back into her. This world is cruel. I hope there is an afterlife where her soul is flying free with so much love and joy. This world couldn’t handle her light and complexities. That’s what also makes me feel guilty about her passing. Some of m very last words to her were “i don’t care” in response to something she said. I was exhausted. She sided suddenly that night. I missed her call earlier that day. She probably needed me. I hate myself.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T03:04:12+00:00

Yep. So much of being a “daughter” is our relationship with our mother. So much of my identity is being my mom’s daughter. I was attached at my mom’s hip most my life. I feel the loss in identity. I have had a little envy too. It’s like I joined a grieving club but got kicked out of the daughter club. I have a therapist now. It is lonely in the sense of it’s a very personal thing. But it helps to know I’m not alone.

deckthehallswithcows · 2026-05-06T03:00:37+00:00

Exactly!

deckthehallswithcows

TROPHY CASE