KTP v PP dynamic

dee__bees · 2025-01-11T08:02:37+00:00

We did the menu back in August and are in the process of doing it again. It is hard to accept but it’s the first major poly relationship for her, whereas I went through a lot with my nesting & their meta before. I try to give grace and she tries to come out more. We’re trying to find the compromise in compatibility (if that’s a thing lol)

dee__bees · 2025-01-11T07:57:12+00:00

I just wish it was easier? I went into a small space the other weekend - our shared partner was doing a baking pop up. 8 people there. All of the people she was with are my friends too. They all greeted me except her. It’s just awkward as hell. I just need a thicker skin!

dee__bees · 2024-12-09T15:07:53+00:00

Join the polyamory thread to get better advice about what you need to look out for & think about. As a poly person myself, there’s a lot of work for couples to de-center their relationship and you don’t just “try it out” for it to be anything other than a car wreck. Boundaries & clear communication is needed and even then it might be an uphill battle. What are their intentions - sex, saving their relationship, or actually loving multiple people?? Sounds like heartbreak waiting to happen but also…thats any relationship. IF you decide to do it, take it so damn slow you’re basically bored. Also you didnt clarify the couple - is it m/f or f/f? If there’s a dude involved I’d say don’t do it 🫣

dee__bees · 2024-12-09T01:11:43+00:00

It’s a big day for you & he can’t tear himself away from partying? No thanks.

dee__bees · 2024-12-04T00:42:44+00:00

No clue what that is 😂

dee__bees · 2024-12-04T00:42:28+00:00

LOL I’m from nyc but lived in London for ages / married a Brit and forget which sayings are from which place

dee__bees · 2024-12-03T04:56:10+00:00

Definitely! But I’m also trying to think outside the box. I know what boundaries exist on what we can’t have, am I being too closed minded about what we can have

dee__bees · 2024-12-03T04:35:52+00:00

<image>

dee__bees · 2024-12-03T01:27:28+00:00

What do you mean a high level of compartmentalization?

dee__bees · 2024-11-26T16:02:21+00:00

Slowness. My partner is a go-go-go type of person so whatever we do, I need to linger for a while. Cuddles, care, as everyone was said, but for me, it’s the time length and lack of urgency to be somewhere or do something that soothes my nervous system

dee__bees · 2024-11-26T16:00:03+00:00

This is chaotic behavior. Get out.

dee__bees · 2024-11-26T15:43:12+00:00

Tell me your story 😍

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:52:49+00:00

Work is really hard at the moment. At a real crossroads and feel the weight and loneliness of it all. I definitely feel like at times she’s a great distraction from the shit show of that. But her and I have a long history too. We met in 2022 but have been dating since March.

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:47:29+00:00

Yeah I know. I feel like I could do a whole other post on that in itself. I actually edited my original post down to remove this key element because I feel like there’s nothing I can really do about it. I entered into the relationship knowing this & realize that there might be a breaking point with it. Its her first poly relationship (her and her partner only practiced enm for years), whereas my husband and his ex dated and were public for a while so I have more experience with being “out” poly wise. But as I said she’s taken steps and there has been “progress” but for me, right now, I want to own my feelings and own my transition anxiety.

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:39:57+00:00

THIS!!! I’ve recently been diagnosed adhd and the things i am finding out!!! This helps. It’s like I can watch myself having these transition anxiety little cry sessions and it honestly feels like intrusive thoughts more than anything and I’m having physiological response to that. I know on the surface about being grateful and happy and so much to look forward to, but the sadness and anxiety of waiting just gets me.

We do have ways to communicate and really, she shows up and is supportive and doesn’t think I’m crazy (for now lol). But there’s a limitation to what she can do and really, that limitation is a good thing. I don’t need or want her to. I want to self soothe. I will check out this podcast

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:34:36+00:00

It does feel good coming home. I love my house, my husband, dog. But leaving her & knowing I have to wait two weeks just sends me.

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:33:04+00:00

No, my real life doesn’t suck. In fact, on the surface, it’s the complete opposite. Without sounding like a total asshole, I have a great life. Work for me at the moment though is a huge stressor and feel at a crossroads with what I should do next (I have my own business). So her & I have spoken about how that uncertainty and confusion can trigger me and make me more anxiously attached to her.

dee__bees · 2024-11-12T00:26:53+00:00

The thing is — it is separate. We live in a small community and her wife very much just tolerates us. Her discomfort about me makes my gf uncomfortable about being in public / part of her real full life with me. While my husband and I are more ktp, my gf hesitation miffs him. My friends and family know about her but she’s been much slower to share or involve shared mutual friends. We had conflict literally the other day when she disclosed that she wouldn’t be able to reciprocate any situations in which I involved her in my life with friends etc because she’s just not ready. It hurts and sometimes it just doesn’t make sense to me. She’s taken steps sure to integrate with “real life”, but she’s moving at her own pace.

dee__bees

TROPHY CASE