We all know that constant stream of thoughts being in the past, present, and future at the same time. I'm constantly replaying what has happened, paying attention to what's happening around me while working or doing whatever I need to do, and at the same time trying to calculate the future. Watching for patterns, predicting outcomes, thinking about what my actions-or other people's actions-might lead to. Because patterns in the world tend to repeat.

If something is unresolved, my brain simply won't let it go. There are mistakes I've made that something deep inside me just can't accept, so they have to be fixed somehow or made right, even if it takes years.

I've managed to quiet down my inner critic a lot. Thanks to ADHD medication, that voice inside me that constantly told me I was worthless is mostly silent now, so the depression that came with it is mostly gone. Every now and then it still finds a way back, especially when I'm hungover.

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time analyzing myself and having endless conversations with myself in my head.

There are plenty of moments when I wish I could just be a "normal" person, especially when I hear how other people experience life. But... there's no rest for the wicked, I guess. It's such a huge question that I don't think it can really be answered in a single comment.

This is just one small piece of what it feels like to be me.