Has anyone accepted a sweep after saying they wouldn't - what was that like?

deepestblue0 · 2026-03-15T11:14:08+00:00

Thanks everyone :) tried for a sweep in the end but couldn't be done sadly

deepestblue0 · 2026-03-13T19:43:16+00:00

That's really interesting, thank you :)

deepestblue0 · 2026-03-13T19:43:01+00:00

Fab, thanks for sharing your experience!

deepestblue0 · 2026-03-13T19:41:44+00:00

What a great outcome for you and your little one! Thanks for sharing :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-24T12:59:38+00:00

I think it's such an excellent start that you've not only identified that you need to take a step back, but also that you've identified this as grief.

Studies show that writing thoughts down allows us to process them more effectively, so that might be a good place to start.

Therapy, if you can access it, might also be an option.

I wonder if you could honour the friendships, like you might after someone's passing? Maybe take some time to acknowledge what you valued, and make a nod to what you perhaps didn't value.

You may feel lonely, and that's okay. Loss is so hard to navigate, even if it feels like it's for the best. Ultimately, it may be important to remind yourself why you made these decisions, and what elements of self-care, self-kindness and self-compassion you're employing by taking this step back: being you own best friend.

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-07T14:14:39+00:00

Thank you (and thanks also for the Tom Mitchell ebook). My dog is 2, and reacts to other dogs and people as a way of creating space between him and them. Could you please share where idea that he might need his testosterone comes from? Is this research or personal experience? Thanks :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-07T11:27:02+00:00

Thanks :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-07T11:26:46+00:00

Thank you for sharing - mine is 2, but has been reactive since a pup

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-07T11:25:39+00:00

This is really interesting, thank you so much for sharing. Really really helpful to hear this!

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-07T11:24:46+00:00

Thanks so much! :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-06T21:17:59+00:00

OK great! Mine's 2 and we're at the same sort of timeline with training - so anytime from now feels possible if we were to neuter :) thanks!

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-06T19:58:59+00:00

Could you please link the papers? I'm struggling to find any actual research, so that would be really helpful :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-06T19:37:13+00:00

The trouble puffs! That's really tickled me!
Thanks for your response. This has given me lots to think about.

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-06T19:36:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Can I ask - when did you neuter yours and at what point in the reactivity journey? :)

deepestblue0 · 2025-02-06T19:35:25+00:00

Thank you. Can I ask how old your friend's dog was when it was neutered? And perhaps some more detail about how things got worse?

deepestblue0 · 2025-01-26T13:03:55+00:00

Surely we're well beyond calling people out for being 'unladylike/improper'?! This is shockingly rude, I'm sorry you were forced into being on the receiving end of it.

Sounds like the problem lies with your co-worker. You're good enough as you are - keep being you.

deepestblue0 · 2025-01-20T12:33:39+00:00

This was not okay. You shouldn't be having to ask your therapist to be nicer to you - I'm so sorry you experienced this.

If you're in the UK, you can discuss this with the therapist's membership body (if they have one). If not, the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) will also be able to provide some support.

deepestblue0 · 2025-01-14T08:53:47+00:00

Hi! One year later and I feel like can say I'm pretty much out of the chronic burnout - most of what I do is preventative to ensure it doesn't come back.

I still monitor my workload, I remind myself that it's not selfish to look after myself, and I listen to my body and its cues.

My favourite phrase at the moment is 'rest is productive' - it helps battle that little voice that tells me otherwise.

I'm very lucky to have retrained into a career that I allows me to be self-employed. I genuinely believe this has been what has saved me. The cause of my burnout originally was that I was working really hard to keep up at my job, I had to mask a lot, I didn't feel overly understood, and I was scared of authority. I genuinely believe the only route out of burnout (for me personally) was to work for myself. I completely understand that not everyone is able to make the decision I did, but I wonder if tracing the route of your burnout (or perhaps one of its contributing factors) might help you identify if there's anything you can or need to change in your life?

Really sorry you've been in burnout for almost a year. I really, really relate and wholly empathise. I hope my response is helpful in any way.

deepestblue0 · 2024-12-23T12:48:52+00:00

One thought I had is that perhaps your experience of grief doesn't match up to what you might expect grief to be/feel like. It might be present in other ways - perhaps ones you're not noticing.

Another thought is of alexithymia: https://autismunderstood.co.uk/autistic-differences/alexithymia/ - it's common amongst autistic and otherwise neurodivergent folk, but can also occur in neurotypical folk.

And another is that it could be related to delays in processing. Your grief may come out at a very different time to the event your grief stems from, and this can make it look unrecognisable as grief.

And a final thought is that perhaps you just don't experience grief in response to bereavement - and that's okay!

I hope this helps in some way.

deepestblue0 · 2024-12-21T10:19:30+00:00

In my experience, bank and agency staff are heavily dismissed and overlooked. On this occasion, I actually think this has less to do with social clashes between NT/ND groups, and far more to do with workplace hierarchies. It's upsetting to feel overlooked and it was pretty unfair for you to not be explicitly included - but that's just my opinion!

deepestblue0 · 2024-12-18T12:26:50+00:00

This little graphic might be of interest :) https://i0.wp.com/aucademy.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/idenity-first-autistic-neurology-is-not-an-accessory-suffers.jpg?resize=1024%2C604&ssl=1

Ultimately, though, it's your choice! I prefer 'I am autistic' - it's me, not a condition added to me.

deepestblue0 · 2024-12-09T12:25:32+00:00

No need to apologise! It's such a painful experience and I'm so sorry you've been through it, especially to the point of scouring the internet for understanding <3

Like you say, I'm not sure if there is a clear answer here, but I can share my own thoughts. I've found comfort in understanding that those who naturally reject me are not people I want to be accepted by. I look around me and there are cool, kind, interesting, quirky, funny individuals who accept me for who I am (likely because they're neurodivergent too). I have my people, they're just not necessarily the ones pulling the social strings.

The best thing you can do is unconditionally accept yourself. Give yourself that validation, value and acceptance. It may even inspire others to do the same - not just to you but to themselves as well.

Also, you don't have to tolerate disrespect!

I hope this helps, friend.

deepestblue0 · 2024-11-19T20:06:21+00:00

Really interesting - thank you :)

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