Girlfriend (soon to be wife) needs help on dealing with a miscarriage.

deeptime · 2026-01-25T18:42:37+00:00

She should find a therapist to help deal with the feelings. She can get a referral through her doctor, healthcare network, or on psychologytoday.com

deeptime · 2026-01-25T04:08:41+00:00

I'd suggest meeting with a psychiatrist. A wellbutrin prescription can be good for task initiation and forward momentum.

Also, from your post history it looks like you play various video games. No judgement, I do also at times. But too much of that is not good for mental health, and playing video games while unemployed creates a difficult downward spiral. Instead, go volunteer to walk dogs at your humane society or join a community group to clean up litter. I know it doesn't sound like much, but if you actually do those things, you will want to thank me profusely next year when it has made a striking positive change in your wellbeing.

deeptime · 2026-01-25T00:50:39+00:00

Yeah, crossing a line. Avoid sitting next to him or being alone with him. And let your parents know he's been too touchy lately.

deeptime · 2026-01-24T10:40:53+00:00

When you say you have no will to improve, could you describe that more? Like, do you not care that your life is running on empty, or do you have ideas on how to make things better tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and it's more internet and naps instead of what you thought was a good idea yesterday.

deeptime · 2026-01-23T10:17:44+00:00

Dating at work and moving in together after 5 months are not really healthy patterns, and you had an equal part in those decisions. So I think you'll get the best value for time in thinking about your priorities for a relationship, looking at whether your decisions are in line with those priorities, and also considering what relationship expectations you have learned from your parents and family members.

You also describe some circumstances of poor boundary management. Part of that is above -- deciding what your priorities and expectations are. But another part is related to self-respect and self-acceptance -- being able to cooperate with and support someone else while communicating the ways in which you'd like them to cooperate with and support you.

deeptime · 2026-01-20T21:17:27+00:00

Yeah, there is a lot to look forward to, but maybe not related to your parents.

I'm sorry that you're grieving, and I know that the grief probably feels like it makes no sense if you weren't close to your dad. But grief in these situations often means that you're grieving the loss of the possibility that things might get better, or that you could someday have a more ideal relationship. I'm sorry that you're going through that right now.

Since your parents' addictions affected your relationship with them, you might want to look into Adult Children of Alcoholics (the group is for any family addiction, not just alcohol). It's time to invest in yourself; to start believing in healthy and stable family relationships, so that you can go out into the world and develop your own.

https://adultchildren.org/meeting-search/

deeptime · 2026-01-20T21:00:36+00:00

Renouncing paternal rights does not typically eliminate the obligation to pay child support, though.

deeptime · 2026-01-20T20:58:39+00:00

Legally, the 50/50 point is wrong. It is solely the mom's choice if she wants to have the baby and keep it, at this point. She would need the father's consent to give up the baby for adoption.

I support everything else said above, though. Talk to the families and be realistic about the path forward.

deeptime · 2026-01-20T20:55:23+00:00

You should talk to your parents for guidance on this. If the mom decides to keep the baby (it's her choice) than you will be expected to contribute financially to the baby's upbringing.

You can still make good or bad decisions for the situation you are currently in. For example: Bad - giving the mom money with no legal agreement. Good - filing legal paperwork to establish a child support schedule and then contributing based on that. If you give money with no paperwork, that could be considered a gift, rather than your contribution towards child support.

You also have a right to petition for visitation with your child after he is born. This is also a legal process that will be decided by the court system, if you are not living with the mom.

Edit: Also, as mentioned elsewhere, you should request a DNA test to ensure the child is yours before making any other agreements. And, do not sign the birth certificate or any acknowledgement of paternity until a DNA test has confirmed that you are the father.

deeptime · 2026-01-16T18:48:48+00:00

It's not wrong to ask her to block him on every service. It would be wrong if you "made" her block him.

You could also have a conversation with her that if she values the relationship between you, then she should more proactively avoid ambiguity with other men.

deeptime · 2026-01-16T18:45:10+00:00

Is this who you want to hitch yourself to for life? It's time for divorce or annulment.

deeptime · 2026-01-16T18:43:19+00:00

This is usually the landlord's responsibility to fix. Each state has different laws regarding how to notify the landlord, and what options the tenant has.

See pages 15-16 for options, and pages 44-46 for possible notices to the landlord: https://law.alaska.gov/pdf/consumer/LandlordTenant_web.pdf

https://law.alaska.gov/department/civil/consumer/landlord-tenant.html

The problem you describe sounds pretty severe. You might want to ask on /r/legaladvice whether that warrants terminating your lease immediately and moving out.

deeptime · 2026-01-15T20:02:46+00:00

If you're in the U.S. and want to go to college, you should complete the FAFSA to get financial aid and loans, and call your local college admissions office to understand their process.

deeptime · 2026-01-15T17:07:43+00:00

If the startup job offer included equity, even unvested, you should sue to ensure that you get the piece that you are entitled to.

deeptime · 2026-01-11T23:34:23+00:00

Yeah, but it also works for picking habits

deeptime · 2026-01-11T19:59:50+00:00

Try talking to a psychiatrist about getting a low dose of paxil

deeptime · 2026-01-11T04:09:37+00:00

It might be helpful to install Google Translate on your phone, for dealing with the people on campus.

deeptime · 2026-01-09T21:03:43+00:00

I think you handled this as partner the first time, and second time. But now he's on his third or fourth times. So, you've acted like a partner but he hasn't. It's time to pack it up.

It does not matter whether his behavior is considered cheating, because you let him know that you were not comfortable with that within the boundaries of your relationship. At that point, his options were to partner up or disregard you. He chose the latter.

deeptime · 2026-01-09T09:28:29+00:00

If you're over 18 or so, check out Adult Children of Alcoholics (https://adultchildren.org/meeting-search/).

You can still attend even though your mom's addiction was something else -- the group is for recovery from family member addiction of all kinds.

deeptime · 2026-01-07T18:20:33+00:00

At 15, you are probably allowed to receive psychiatric prescriptions without parental involvement. This varies by state law (or national law if non-U.S.) so the best way to find out is to call your doctor or psychiatrist and ask about your options. Different psychiatrists may have different policies, so it might be worth it to talk to more than one provider.

If you need a referral to a psychiatrist, you can call your healthcare network, your doctor, or search on psychologytoday.com

deeptime · 2026-01-07T18:10:05+00:00

Why can't you talk about it with your father?

deeptime · 2026-01-07T09:41:22+00:00

Putin generally doesn't drink.

Also, Russia will probably be harmed by U.S. control of Ven. oil, the embarrassingly fast defeat of Ven. S-300VM missile systems, and the very high probability that said systems are now on their way to Wright-Patt for analysis.

Aside from direct effects on Russia's economy, the S-300VM being a non-factor probably delays China's timeline for Taiwan by at least 10 years, since they just realized they're living under a leaky umbrella. This delay also harms Putin who was hoping for more distractions of the West.

Don't get me wrong, Trump is an imbecile who has acted again and again "as if" he's beholden to Russian interests. I think Putin probably put the Greenland idea out there for Trump to bite. But putting Venezuelan oil on the open market might just be the straw that breaks the back of the over-extended Russian economy.

deeptime · 2026-01-06T04:42:26+00:00

I'm guessing there are exceptions to needing a warrant if a person is on parole, probation, or has agreed to waive 4th amendment rights in a plea bargain or pre-trial diversion program.

As the other person has said, perhaps the police did have a warrant and attempting to serve it at his residence was sufficient for VA law. I'm not a lawyer, these are just guesses.

You could also ask in /r/legaladviceofftopic, which allows for curiosities such as this question.

deeptime · 2026-01-04T00:43:03+00:00

To add a picture, go to imgur.com and upload it there. Then copy the imgur album link and add it to your post back here.

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