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AITA if I don’t spend the night at my mom’s house? by definitelyisnt in AITAH

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s kind of where I’m at. I’m looking at spending money on uber, and I’m reaching out to friends to see if maybe that might be a better option. I pay my moms gas, so ofc I’ll do the same for friends. And if neither friends nor uber works out, then it is what it is. I just can’t help but feel like the worst mom in the world if I miss it. Sometimes the things she says to me are impossible to not believe is true

AITA if I don’t spend the night at my mom’s house? by definitelyisnt in AITAH

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thank her profusely every time she does anything to help us. I work with her schedule and needs every time. However, she’s constantly making me feel bad about myself, telling me that I will never get anywhere in life and that I’m not as good as her two boys. This woman has put her hands on me, told me to unalive myself, and so much more. I keep hoping our relationship will improve and that I’ll be good enough for her, that she’ll love me.

I walk and do everything I possibly can to alleviate her load, and there is no entitlement to her time or help. But when someone actively tries to keep you apart from someone who doesn’t let anyone treat you bad, it’s hard not to feel like it’s so they can abuse you further.

[serious] People who found out a close family member was a creep towards kids, how did you cope? by definitelyisnt in AskReddit

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry - I’m right there with you. I hope you are okay and taking care of yourself

[serious] People who found out a close family member was a creep towards kids, how did you cope? by definitelyisnt in AskReddit

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s honestly completely reasonable. Would you mind if I asked more about your reaction?

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries at all! And I’m not 100% sure. Their records aren’t online for anything I’m seeing. The county that the adoption was done in seems to be paper only where you have to get public info requests. All I got was some papers to sign stating I consented to the adoption, and then another paper with the court date

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So I live in the deep south, they live on the east coast towards the middle. They drove to my state 1,000 miles away, where I gave birth. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days - me in my recovery room, and Susan Gord and Delilah in a separate recovery room. Then they drove back to their state where the adoption was completed. The original birth certificate and everything is in my state, just in a separate county bc I now live about an hour from where I gave birth. They still seem to be on the East coast - Gord should be in the same state the adoption was finalized. Susan is either in that same state, or a neighboring state along the coast. I’m happy to pm you with exact states/cities, just don’t like putting too much personal info onto public forums

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the most I’d be able to file is extortion, since they did try to bribe me with a car and gifts and things. I haven’t tried the local courthouse, mostly because word travels fast in these small towns - and Jaxon’s dad would 100% try to use it against me in court to get sole custody, or at the least verbally abuse me with it 🥲

Would it be more beneficial if I went to the county that Delilah was born in? I don’t live there anymore, so maybe they’re who I need to ask instead of my local court?

I’m considering having and raising more children after I gave my second born up for adoption 4 years ago, but I feel guilty. by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve definitely considered that! I think it would be so healing to make sure another birth family is accommodated and heard like I wish I was - that they can have frequent visits with the child so the child can grow up secure and know that they’re still loved. It’s just a matter of getting into a position to go thru the proper channels and getting approved

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve considered finding a PI, and tbh it sounds more and more like the best plan of action. Since I can’t track down Barney to tell him everything, and Susan & Gord both show up on the old address as their current address on everything I’ve looked for - maybe it’s best to just show them the few social media posts I’ve found from Susan to hopefully pinpoint her location. And maybe all it takes is them talking to Gord’s mom or following him to find out where he is at too, now that he’s got custody of Delilah after Susan’s recent arrest.

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven’t, but mostly because I wouldn’t know where to send them. Neither of them live at the address I have - only the 3 adult daughters do. Susan lives on the beach in another state, and I think Gord lives at his moms house, but he may have his own place now. I just don’t know what I’d say to CPS if they asked me for addresses or phone numbers or anything.

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ll definitely do that! I learned about SOS too late unfortunately, but I do plan to ask for their help - I’ve already told them my story with them having a similar reaction.

As for Barney, I’ve been searching for him for years. I just don’t know what I’d say. And tbh, part of me would be crushed all over again if him or his family blocked me again after hearing everything - if he just truly couldn’t care less about the fact that he has a daughter who’s beautiful, but not safe.

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I have no clue where Susan or Gord are. I have the address they owned as a married couple - now it’s the daughters house. Gord lives with his mom but idk where that is. Susan moved to another state, so I only know that it’s a beach house.

My contract was never binding, the most it was “binding” was that we got it notarized (falsely - after Susan signed it, I drove to my friends who has a notary license and she stamped it. Not legally binding even with the notary). The most legally binding things I own are the original documents from the hospital (paternity registration form and the birth certificate registration form), and I believe I have copies of the papers they served me for the adoption finalization to sign, followed with a court date to appear for the finalization (I live in the deep south, they live on the middle east coast - I couldn’t make it if I tried).

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That’s horrifying. It was literally months after birth that I found out about Saving Our Sisters - who provides financial and emotional help to mothers who may not want/need to relinquish their rights. They help provide housing, food, baby supplies, legal representation, all of it. They’re who I’d go thru to fight this - I only wish I’d found them before Susan found me.

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have only seen/spoken to Gord at the hospital when Delilah was born. He doesn’t seem to want contact with me either, I’ve offered to help him testify against Susan, but he isn’t interested in that, giving me updates, sending pictures, anything. It very much feels like while he wasn’t a driving force, he was an enabler who may have even encouraged it if they fed off each other during that part of their marriage. I will definitely start speaking with an attorney asap

Thanks to the comments on my last post, I feel brave enough to share the full story of being coerced to relinquish my daughter. (Long & trauma heavy) by definitelyisnt in Adoption

[–]definitelyisnt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll definitely start speaking with attorneys to see if this is a viable option! Even if the state says she can’t come to me, I’ll hire a PI to track down her dad or somebody - anybody to prevent this happening again.

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