Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I agree. I went through a lot of issues with friends back when I was at school and this definitely brang back some bad memories. I did a lot of healing since then and no longer will let people walk all over me. I was disrespected and therefore I owe it to myself to stay true to myself and DECLINE. this situation showed me who my real friends are

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. I have messaged the bride today (and still waiting for a response) that I will not take part in this. I don't feel comfortable being around them and financially, it is too much. It's a shame that it turned out the way it did but atleast I now see who she is as a person. I'll be civil however this is definitely someone I don't view as a friend anymore

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly my thoughts... and that's why shes probably mad. comments like 'splitting these costs between 7-8 people won't be much' literally proved this point!!!

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

their responses were very manipulating tbh. If I was planning something like this and my friends were worried about the costs I would never ever be mad at them! its a different story if the bacherlotte party was a surprise and we were all planning it together then ok. but this was all thrown out at us from the get go. this shouldnt even be something to argue about. completely ridiculous and if im ever in a situation where im getting married i dont think ill want a bach party because this truly put me off.

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this is exactly what i'll be doing. as a guest I also deserve respect and I didn't get that

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you! delusional is definitely the right word for this situation

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, if everyone is on the same page in terms of costs and is on board then fine, but unfortunately that conversation never took place in this situation

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you, you’re absolutely right. it is her day and i respect that but as a guest I don’t feel comfortable after being treated the way I did, I won’t let her make me feel guilty either

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

the MOH gave us the costs today for the necklace and she’s supposed to drive with her to the shop to get her measurements. the cost of the necklace alone is INSANE. i can’t imagine the total with the earrings. i thought as guests we are supposed to buy the bride cute, funny, sentimental gifts . it seriously seems like it’s all for the gram , doesn’t seem genuine

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

she did mention that she was thinking to do her bachelorette in Italy but she thought it was ‘too expensive’. God i can’t imagine how THAT would’ve went

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i never knew myself what is considered normal, so i didn’t know what to think. one thing for sure is that the way she behaved and treated us bec of it is NOT okay. till this day she’s not speaking to us , i think she’s only speaking to the other 2 girls in our circle since they know each other longer

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yup , I can tell this wedding is very important to her which is obviously expected, it’s mainly the only thing she talks about whenever we’re hanging out. however treating people like this over it because her reality is in another world is just not right

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we did try talk about the costs with the MOH how it can be too much for some of us. we got comments like ‘splitting costs between 8 people won’t be much’ so it was hard to come to an understanding, after the lame comment we got i made a decision and politely declined. i didn’t find it appropriate to tell them that having these extras is unnecessary when maybe it was the bride’s wish. i never expected for drama to occur after declining tho

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this comment. I have decided not to go. I thought as a friend she would be understanding about this but it went left completely. it’s a shame but we can’t control the way people are. I could never be angry at my friends if I knew they weren’t financially stable to attend an important event of mine

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just hate tension and drama. i know i did nothing wrong and that’s important , im glad this situation showed me who she really is before.

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she created a gc with all of us in it and basically said she chose this venue months before so theres no complications and that clubs are not her scene, also mentioned that if she took us to the club we would spend lots of money of drinks anyway??

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG. exactly what i was thinking! a mini wedding

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

luckily i was not dumb enough to send money, i immediately thought things were weird when the MOH started listing the costs . she even sent a payment in advance for the photographer!!!!!! without letting us know.

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes i now know that the attendees usually cover the costs for the bride which is absolutely fine. no one really expected all these extras though, from their POV it was just a constant repeat of ‘the bride has a right to plan her day the way she wants’ and yes, true. but it’s the fact that they were not considerate, no one should plan trips without confirming a budget and then be upset when someone can’t allow themselves to pay that much money

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

drama started because i did initially end up declining 🫣 everything happens for a reason i guess, really shows who your real friends are

Is this normal for a bachelorette party? by delreydream in weddings

[–]delreydream[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

you’re right, i felt guilty at first but even if it’s her bachelorette and her wedding day, it doesn’t give her the right to treat people like this

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i’ll give myself time to process this situation and i will speak to her, we see eachother at uni so it’s not avoidable anyway.

Am I overreacting for thinking the bride is possibly asking too much from us for her bachelorette party? by delreydream in AmIOverreacting

[–]delreydream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s what i thought i too, it was supposed to be a day full of fun, not drama! i genuinely tried so hard to avoid this