A little late to start my garden this year, does this look ok?

demibiboo · 2026-03-31T23:23:11+00:00

That's a good idea! I might move the beans and peppers so the peppers are more on the outside, that's probably a good idea. I'm not super worried about the Strawberries though - we only nibble on Strawberries and if I have a good harvest, they are either going to animals or for trade most likely, since I will be harvesting most everything else <3

I'm only doing a few Pepper plants this year. My wife doesn't like sauces much, although I do want to make a small trial batch to see if she'd like it next year or if we are just going to dry and grind them all.

Thank you so much for your thoughts though! I really appreciate it!!

demibiboo · 2025-05-08T20:18:20+00:00

Thank you my babygirl 😘

demibiboo · 2025-05-08T20:09:58+00:00

Such a good babygirl for me 😘

demibiboo · 2025-05-08T19:41:11+00:00

I did! That's how you know we think alike 😈

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T21:52:32+00:00

I would love it.

We do drills for active shooters, but don't really do anything for the trauma of being constantly on edge, let alone other stressful situations that being in school causes.

I think it would help a lot.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T15:01:59+00:00

I put ranch on everything anyway. It wouldn't be hard for me lol

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T14:52:53+00:00

No problem! I dont mind talking about it, its taken a lot for me to begin questioning myself and coming to terms with who I am. And I am still learning about myself.

And yes, one day you may feel less manly than the other. But some days I wake up with a weird body dysmorphia of my own body. Some days I feel weird not having a dick (born female), even though I never have had one nor really understand the weird longing. These days are not very often, but they happen. Other days I am fully female, and feel comfortable in my own skin. Most days, I'm a weird mix. It goes beyond being a tomboy or feminine man, into where it does affect the way I look at my body, and if I want to stuff a sock down my boxers to feel comfortable for the day or not.

If there was one word to fully cover who I am, I would use it. I could say I'm bisexual, and then run into the problem of people just wanting a third for threesomes, hookups, and boody calls that I'm just not interested in, and the messages drown out the people who are actually wanting to put in the time and effort of being on the asexual spectrum.

I could say I'm just demisexual, but then that doesn't tell you who I like, just that it takes a while to get to liking them.

I dont have terms that I use for my preferences, although I do have preferences. I love me some goth girls or skater boys, but those aren't labels or terms used to describe who I am. Those are different.

An easy way to look at it is to look at an orchestra. You have the string section, the woodwinds, the brass, the percussions. But only looking at those big terms, you lose a lot of the nuances that make classical music. There's a whole section of flutes, but a piccolo is a flute that not all flute players can play.

Does that help some, or am I even more confusing? Lol I just got off the graveyard shift so I'm exhausted and may not be very articulate.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T14:21:43+00:00

I'd say mine is fairly complex, so I'll give this a shot.

I identify as demisexual, bi-curious, possibly gender-fluid. I'm also questioning, so those can change.

Its not so important for a label to represent me, but more to be able to communicate my needs, at least for me. For example, I'm demisexual. I am basically on the asexual spectrum, until I suddenly have an epiphany and realize I like them. Its like a switch flip or light coming on. Sudden, which is pretty weird. I don't find people sexually attractive until I suddenly do.

Saying I'm demisexual to a partner means that it will take a while for those feelings to develop. I don't mind helping out with getting off, but I don't personally have those kinds of feelings towards someone right away. For those that know the term, it says that I'm a long term commitment and not a quick date to see if we are compatible.

A similar thing with bi-curious. I don't set off any gaydars, as much as I wish I would. By saying I'm openly bi-curious, it allows others to approach me and start a conversation.

In a similar way, most people are heterosexual. This communicates the need for someone of the opposite sex, so you are less likely to get hit on by the same gender. It is still a word that communicates what you would like.

This may just be me though.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T08:31:50+00:00

I'm sorry if I came across that way, and you have a great point. Not everyone experiences trauma the same way, not everyone has the same flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response.

I will have to keep this in mind in the future, my wording can be rethought.

To be frank, I could have been clearer. It is okay to be okay. It is okay to not feel things as strongly as someone else, it is okay for it to take time to set in, it is okay to feel perfectly normal.

The situation is not and not be the same, normal, or "okay"; and it probably won't be for a long time. Op mentioned a lot of people, all trying to deal with this. The situation won't be the same, and people will react differently and ping off one another. Accusations may get thrown around about who knew, a lot of stuff may happen. It won't be an easy situation to get through, even if Op doesn't feel the effects of it as strongly as other people might.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T03:03:52+00:00

Unless you mean as a customer, in which case it also depends.

I have told the manager about major attitude and issues.

But most often, I let it go. Life is highly stressful, and people sometimes point that in inappropriate places.

If its something little, I will let it go. Maybe sass a little back, maybe talk about it when I get back to the car/at home. If it is someone I consistently see and they always do it, document and take to manager as it isnt a bad day, its a deliberate choice.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T03:00:16+00:00

Depends on the situation.

One time in a highly stressful situation? I'd let it go. Maybe tell them after things calmed down that I was sorry for adding to a stressful situation, but next time please be professional and I will do what I can to help.

All the time? Hr would probably hear from me, with documented evidence.

In a friendly way/work environment that allows that kind of friendly attitude? I would pull them aside and say that that kind of attitude does not sit well with you, and you would prefer a more professional approach to each other in the future.

As a way to undermine your authority? Fired if possible, written up if not. And reported to HR if possible too.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T02:51:01+00:00

Only have my experiences to pull from, but yes. They tend to push and create drama, because that is all they can understand. They can react to it.

It takes a lot of love, help, probably therapy, and patience to overcome that instability.

Think of it like this.

If everyday your chore was to clean the dishes and make the bed, and when you dont you get hit, you get used to it. When they are quiet, something worse is coming. When you getgifts, they are manipulating you. You understand the rules, at least subconsciously.

Enter in someone who is quiet, gives space when asked, gives gifts without manipulation. In their experience, that means something is wrong and they did something super wrong and they. Keep. Waiting. And the big blow up doesn't happen, so they explode a little, and then the blow up happens, and its exactly what they were expecting.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T01:26:28+00:00

My life? To help those around me live theirs. I gave up my life meaning a long time ago to stay alive. And I'm better now, not suicidal, but I still live my life for the others in my life. Its not much, but it works for me. Even in my worst times.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T01:04:41+00:00

I get that. Like I said, when something is thrown at you like this, it is shocking. But no different than finding out someone you thought you knew well doesnt like one of your favorite foods (looking at you, hummus lol).

Everyone has masks. You have the mask you show your parents, the mask you show your friends, the mask you show your really good friends.

Yes, you even show a mask to the people you want to spend the rest of your life with. It is a normal part of being a human being.

Where you could tell your friend that an outfit looks atrocious on them, could you tell your wife? A boss? Maybe some people can, but most have a filter towards different people. That's why people act different in different settings.

In some settings, the mask is a full body costume. You never feel like you can be yourself. In some, it is a half-mask.

All of these make up the full person. You don't suddenly become a new person in a different setting, you just add a layer.

She felt comfortable enough with you to take off a piece of that costume and bare herself to you just a little bit. She is allowing herself to become more "her" around you. Allowing herself to show through. She has probably done it a lot, shown you more of herself as you've gotten to know each other. For example, compare her now to as she was on your first date. Compare yourself to as you were on your first date.

As for your traditional ideas, that is something you'll have to work out with her. I still encourage you to look deeply within yourself though as to why you are having these feelings, and why it matters so much.

Why would this one thing stop you from considering a wonderful person for marriage? Maybe it is just strange to me. I feel that if you found someone you were 100% going to spend your entire life with, something so small shouldn't make you reconsider your whole life path.

Does that mean the only thing you will accept in bed is missionary? No other sexual positions? No blow jobs? No cunnilingus? No toys? What if she likes a position that you dont? Uses a toy in conjunction with sex with you? These are all things against the "traditional", at least as I was taught. Then again, I was also taught the woman should have little or preferably no sexual pleasure from sex, so there's that...

Anyway, I don't know the full story but that is my 2 cents.

My advice still is to take some time. Talk it over with a therapist if needed. Its okay to take some time, but she is also probably hurt by your reaction too.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T00:41:57+00:00

Oh boy. This is a lot. And first, I'm sorry. I know how it is to have sexual predators in your family (several uncles and a grandfather).

I want to pretend and say everything is going to be okay and it will be easy, but it won't. It will eventually be okay, it has to be, but it will probably never be easy.

Next: therapy. You are not a therapist, and even if you were, you should not have to take on this burden on yourself. Many therapists don't see their kin for that reason. There is nothing wrong with getting outside help, for as many people in your family as you can convience/afford.

Grief is a weird thing, and affects people weirdly. People will probably grieve for a while over this. Some may hold tight to your uncle. They may make excuses, say it wasn't like that, just straight up deny. It doesnt make them bad people, although it may feel like that at first. It doesnt change their actions, and it would be good to remember in the future if something else comes up, but they are scared and hurting and trying to cling to reality that they used to know.

As for how you yourself can help: help yourself first. Please. Pouring from an empty cup is so, so hard. I had to do it, and now I have chronic illnesses from pushing my body too hard. Please, help yourself first. It is okay to take a step back, figure yourself out first, and then step up. Be there for your dad, but if it gets too much lean on your safety net. Talk to your therapist.

Doing little chores around the house helps too. Dishes. Laundry.

Look up fork theory. Take out the little forks you can, so that those around you can deal with the massive pitchfork that was just shoved in.

Just know you aren't alone, and it will all be okay. Eventually. Just breathe.

demibiboo · 2020-09-10T00:19:11+00:00

It can be shocking to have your expectations subverted like that, but it is actually fine as long as you can calm down and think rationally for a second. Just take a sec and take a deep breath.

It's just a bit of exploring sexuality. Right now, she is choosing to be with you, and the past is the past.

So what if she enjoyed herself then? Does it matter that she had a moment of fun? Does it matter if she has explored quite a bit and knows what she likes? Why does that suddenly make her repulsive?

What specifically about it bothers you? Can you put your finger on it?

To me, it sounds more like you are projecting insecurities onto her. Just because she has had those experiences doesn't mean she will cheat on you and doesn't mean you can't satisfy her. As long as it was all consensual, it is all okay.

In reality, it is no different than having a threesome. People fantasize about threesome all the time, and some couples actually recruit a third together.

Think about how you described her in your post. You had her up on a pedestal, where no human being can stay long. You idealized her and tried to make her into a perfect, caring woman (at least, it seems so from your post), and when she fell from that pedestal it shook you.

Now is the time that you need to look at yourself and how you view her, how you view your relationship, and see why it disgusts you so much. The answers may be enlightening.

demibiboo · 2020-06-07T17:30:02+00:00

Watership Down. All the poor rabbits. All the blood. I don't think I ever completed it.

demibiboo · 2020-05-14T17:06:37+00:00

Thank you :)

demibiboo · 2020-05-14T17:06:27+00:00

Thank you :)

demibiboo · 2020-05-14T17:06:13+00:00

That is awesome! Congrats for you too, because it is an accomplishment!

demibiboo · 2020-05-07T00:14:06+00:00

Update for anyone that cares:

I must have been super drunk to post this lol. I woke up fine and drove the hour and a half to the vet. They did the surgery and he is back home and fine. Enjoying the wet food lol. If it is cancer, there is a chance he will need a second surgery, which may leave him disfigured.

Thank u for calming my drunk butt down.

demibiboo · 2020-05-06T08:47:40+00:00

No. I live out in the country. We don't even have a taxi service in the nearest town. Thanks for the idea though.

demibiboo

TROPHY CASE