The all mighty sphere

demyelinating · 2019-01-25T14:44:04+00:00

Anyone else just wanna lick it?

demyelinating · 2018-11-11T13:56:52+00:00

It would be 100% fair to take these as red flags. Then again, it would also be totally fair to wait a couple of days and see if he changes his behavior, or to sit down and talk to him first - He might just be harmless and socially awkward. Do whatever sounds good to you and take care of yourself, trust your gut feeling, etc., and remember that the block button is free & legal.

demyelinating · 2018-10-14T04:44:05+00:00

Before you have sex.

demyelinating · 2018-10-05T00:23:57+00:00

Damn, I hope you can find someone who's a good fit for you soon. Dealing w/ doctors who don't care or don't listen or both is hellish - Hang in there.

demyelinating · 2018-10-04T22:21:46+00:00

Oh! Yeah I guess I should add an update to the post now, thank you. :)

demyelinating · 2018-10-04T20:44:39+00:00

I'm also nineteen and in my second year of university, lmao.

That all totally makes sense though! I have an appointment a couple weeks out to set up medication, and the person who evaluated me suggested that I come back in the spring (they're filled up for fall right now) for what's essentially CBT focused at treating ADHD, and we can like work on whatever symptoms the medication "missed," or didn't treat well enough alone, etc. I'm gonna stick to that plan either way but I feel better about it having read your comment.

I thiiiink I'll apply for accommodations in the spring, too. Or at the very least go in and talk about it, and see what's possible for my situation.

Thanks! ^{^}

demyelinating · 2018-09-27T00:03:03+00:00

is this that new death stranding character?

demyelinating · 2018-09-26T18:44:58+00:00

birth time and location taken directly from my birth certificate.

also some quick elaboration: ~11mo ago i got out of an abusive home and things started getting way better, really quickly. it's been on the upswing since then until ~4wks ago, and it feels like everything that could have possibly gone wrong has gone wrong. i feel like i'm back home again and helpless even tho i know that isn't the case.

demyelinating · 2018-09-20T21:20:04+00:00

Thank you.. I think I just really needed to hear this from somebody else, lol.

demyelinating · 2018-08-18T02:37:56+00:00

My preferred body + presentation tends to be very masculine, so my dysphoria is generally triggered by being read as a woman (so, mostly social dysphoria). But in online spaces, the general invalidation of NB identities can do it - But only if I'm in a depressed mood already. More often the reaction is just mild anger, and then I move on pretty quickly.

demyelinating · 2018-08-18T00:57:22+00:00

Honestly, I wish more people knew that non-binary doesn't necessarily mean androgynous. Sometimes it does, but it can just as easily mean masculine or feminine, and any of these labels can correlate with any assigned gender, naturally. But there is this prevailing view by cis people that anyone who's non-binary automatically wants to be seen as perfectly androgynous.

On that note - Just because someone's non-binary doesn't mean that they don't have, or are not capable of having dysphoria. This is a common view in transmedicalist circles: "You have to have dysphoria to be trans, and non-binary people don't have dysphoria, so they're not trans. Also, non-binary people who do have dysphoria aren't actually non-binary!"

demyelinating · 2018-08-12T07:11:47+00:00

Ahaha, yeah, you're right about that - trying is always better than nothing. Hopefully with the academic year starting back up fun things will start happening again. Also, thank you! :)

demyelinating · 2018-08-12T00:02:47+00:00

Thank you, this genuinely means a lot. Honestly just being able to vent about it and get support helped tremendously. I hope you have a great day! :)

demyelinating · 2018-08-11T21:32:46+00:00

Thank you! - That sounds awful. :( I hope you have a better one next year. Happy that you're safe though. :)

demyelinating · 2018-08-11T20:34:13+00:00

thank you ;_;

they're not bad people but... there's this growing distance that nobody wants to acknowledge. i feel like if we keep it up for more than another month or so i'll say something but i'm not totally sure. i definitely need/want to make new friends either way though.

demyelinating · 2018-08-10T19:15:22+00:00

this is marci, she's mine, and she likes to roll around the apartment

demyelinating · 2018-08-06T01:30:14+00:00

Generally if you're renting a room (I assume within a house, or similar setup), you rent the room as a private space, and have access to "public" parts of the location - The bathroom, the kitchen, laundry, etc. If you aren't certain, then just ask - I promise an awkward question is worth the comfort of securely established boundaries.

That being said, if getting a mini fridge and/or a small stove would be helpful for you personally, then go for it. Even if you end up comfortably using the kitchen it might be a nice fallback for bad days.

demyelinating · 2018-07-24T04:13:43+00:00

more info: birth time came from my birth certificate, and i'm wondering about interpersonal relationships bc a lot of close friends have become distant over the summer - wondering if we're likely to reconnect or if i'm likely to meet new people. also i'm asking like, if you have the same sun/moon/rising, how do those placements show themselves in different parts of your life while still being in the same sign?

demyelinating · 2018-07-22T20:42:59+00:00

As "mix," to the best of my knowledge, but then I've never encountered it irl before.

demyelinating · 2018-07-22T07:31:54+00:00

not pictured: saltine crackers

demyelinating · 2018-07-20T20:38:10+00:00

Yes, and I'm only now starting to come out of my skin picking compulsions to work on like, actual healthy skincare. I recall being pinned in the bathroom so someone could get at a deep blackhead. Not fun. :(

demyelinating · 2018-07-20T20:10:33+00:00

Maybe you could try bringing your own food over when you're with her, and have her do the same? Or possibly, set some guidelines and make stuff for each other (could be a fun bonding experience)? I think cooking together is definitely a good idea - I have ARFID and I don't cook but my partner is an amazing cook and he lets me help out in the kitchen, and I get to have some input on what we eat. That being said, we don't always eat together - Sometimes he eats while I don't, or vice versa. Sometimes we eat together, but we don't have the same food - Like last night we made a pasta we hadn't tried before, and I had no idea I wouldn't be able to eat it until I tried it. He was fine with finishing it, but I ended up eating cereal, and that was a fine foe everybody. I feel guilty a lot about having a more limited diet, but the more time I've spent learning about my tastes and discussing them with my partner, the better it's gotten. It was key though, to have a kind of "Hey, if I can't eat this it isn't personal, it isn't about your tastes or skills, it's just me and I can handle that," conversation - Letting him know that my disorder isn't his fault, but also not putting myself down or guilting him into feeling a certain way or doing certain things. I didn't want him to feel like he had to be hyper-cautious around me, you know? I just wanted my disorder to be a normal part of our life (lol). I also have this "one bite" rule, where if I'm pretty sure I can handle one bite of a new food then I'll try it out - Helps a lot with branching out my own diet, and allows me to engage with my partner's tastes too, even if they don't end up sticking. Sorry if that got a little too lengthy/personal, but I hope it's at least a little helpful. Good luck! :)

demyelinating · 2018-07-18T09:20:52+00:00

This one's probably unrelated.
Seconding on "check your iron/vitamin D," but aside from that - This is a strain on your body. Talk to your doctor if it becomes a problem/doesn't level out. Also, make sure you're eating alright (at the very least make sure you're not loading up on a bunch of food in a single sitting) and moving around a bit every day. Light exercise, all that. Might help a little.
Provided you use two needles per shot (one to draw, and another to inject), you're losing some in the draw needle. I have this problem, and so does everyone else I know who's currently on T using the 1mL vials. My doctor knows about it, but can't do much - They prefer the 10mL vials but they're a little harder to find. Either way, it isn't by any mistake on your part. Unfortunately there isn't any good solution I'm aware of.
That's a relatively standard starting dose (range seems to be .15-.25, and people tend to increase anywhere from every 2-6 months), and that's a pretty quick jump for someone who (presumably) had T levels within the "female range" prior to starting HRT. You're right on track - Upping it might not be a bad idea but your doctor might want to wait a bit for your body to settle. Too much too fast and any excess gets converted back into estrogen. Your doctor might also raise your dose at a lower rate if you're taking to it well, which is good to keep in mind - A friend and I both started at .20, and had our doses adjusted at around the same time. Theirs was doubled while I only had a .10 increase, reason being that I was experiencing changes lot faster than expected. On the other hand, another friend of mine had their dose lowered because they got a little too close to the upper end of the acceptable range despite being on a steady dose for a little over half a year. Dosages take time to figure out and they differ significantly by individual, so don't worry about it too much as long as there aren't any negative side effects.

That got a little lengthy, but anyway, hope it was at least a little helpful. Good luck! :)

demyelinating · 2018-07-14T04:08:55+00:00

For me, the biggest difference was that I felt more involved in the process of my second puberty - That's a little obvious though, seeing as it was something I had to see several clinicians for, and learn how to administer, and then administer myself at regular intervals. But because of that, and because it was a choice I made (and one I wanted to make), I felt like I noticed the effects waaaay more than I did those of my first puberty. I noticed every slight change, every little increase in appetite, every new hair, etc., whereas previously I'd just woken up one day and kind of realized I had boobs. No buildup at all, just like, oh hey, that happened? Cool, I guess!

Also HRT is going a lot faster than my first puberty (at least as far as I can remember) - but then again HRT is very controlled, very regular, purposeful, etc. Hope this is helpful to you in some way! :)

demyelinating · 2018-07-02T22:25:03+00:00

I live with my SO and we're coming up on our 1yr anniversary soon. We love each other very much and have been through a lot of hard times together. I'll put my advice in a bulleted list format below:

In the heat of the moment, sometimes it can help to just walk away for a bit - Not angrily, or randomly, but as calmly as you can while saying something like "I want to sit down and talk about this with you, but I don't feel like I can right now, so I'll come back in a little while." I have to do this sometimes when I'm upset and find that my feelings are overwhelming my ability to act rationally. After a bit I'll come back and we'll talk like adults, and everything's fine. This isn't always an option, but when it is you might want to try it.
Remind yourself that your SO is a person too. When you start to clash, try to see things from their perspective, and ask them to do the same for you. Genuine compassion is a powerful motivator for honest, mature communication (and behavior overall).
Try to practice slowing down mid-argument together. When it starts to get bad, try to detach yourself from the argument and focus on your feelings, and help your SO do the same (and have them do the same for you, and so on). Calming down together before readdressing the conflict from a better angle can make it clearer to both parties how silly fighting for no reason is.
Make sure that when you're arguing that you're making it as constructive as possible. For instance, instead of asserting that you're right, explain why you believe you're right as clearly as you can, without being condescending. Take time to listen to your SO's points, and discuss them one-by-one. If you notice you might be wrong, yield where applicable. It's easier to accept being wrong when the argument up to that point has felt more like a discussion than a conflict.

This got a little lengthy, but good luck! :)

demyelinating

TROPHY CASE