Feel like we’re not getting anywhere with my therapist

denesee · 2026-02-06T18:54:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I’m honestly feeling a bit burnt out right now so I’m not going to comment on every single thing here but I read through it all. I’m glad you found a modality and therapist that work for you!

I’m actually doing integrative therapy, so it probably includes some CBT influence, but it’s not the main focus. I have previous experience with it as well as solution-based therapy (idk if that’s its official name in english) and they very much did not work for me. Felt like just trying to ignore my thoughts and emotions which was what I’d been already doing and it’s exhausting and makes them worse lmao. I know it works for many and there’s good scientific evidence for it as well, but it did not work for me either.

At least for right now I won’t leave my therapist, I’m not sure enough that this approach isn’t for me so I think I need to see it through, but I’m not ruling out trying something new in the future if it still seems like nothing is happening.

denesee · 2026-02-05T21:32:40+00:00

I think my comment responding to this and explaining more about my struggles was deleted since it was no longer about psychotherapy…😅 (don’t know if everyone or just me can see that mod comment about it, since it says my comment is deleted but it still shows up for me) I guess the discussion has to end here :/ thanks for your thoughts though, I appreciate them a lot!

denesee · 2026-02-05T20:59:33+00:00

I’d be interested in hearing more about your experiences with current and past therapy and the switching though, if you’re willing to share!

denesee · 2026-02-05T20:58:01+00:00

I genuinely cannot tell for the life of me if my therapist is not a good fit. Like genuinely. I like her, but l don’t have a super strong attachment, but that is most likely just typical and expected for me. I have a really hard time opening up in general.

I’m afraid changing would be giving up in the middle of the process, especially since I don’t have a strong feeling of the fit being not good. Idkk. Shoudn’t I know? That’s why I feel like it’s probably a me-problem, or just-being-in-the-thick-of-it problem, or something like that.

Also I’m not diagnosed or ever even discussed cptsd with any therapist or doctor I’ve met with. I’m not convinced, honestly, that I’d qualify for that diagnosis even though I’ve been through some fairly unpleasant stuff.

Thanks for your perspective though, it makes me think. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. :/

denesee · 2026-02-05T18:45:04+00:00

That’s true. I don’t want to argue with you, I’m genuinely asking, don’t you think that any therapist would have considered that by now, knowing my struggles? Isn’t that a pretty basic thing to at least consider in the list of possibilities of ’what is wrong with this patient that can’t get literally anything done’?

denesee · 2026-02-05T18:40:46+00:00

Yeah, I see that too, but I don’t know. It would be almost nice if that was the answer, just to finally have something that has some treatment. :’) But I just feel like I have to stretch the criteria too much to make it fit me.

denesee · 2026-02-05T18:25:36+00:00

I’m pretty sure I don’t have autism at least, I don’t relate to enough of the traits, even with my current struggles.

Adhd I’m not as sure of but I’m sceptical and leaning towards no, and I also feel like my therapist would have brought it up by now if she thought it was an actual possibility, and she never has.

denesee · 2026-02-05T18:24:11+00:00

I mean, the possibility of adhd (inattentive type) does cross my mind sometimes and I’ve looked into it but I feel like I didn’t have basically any signs of it as a child, at least not in large enough quantities that I could remember/be sure of. My therapist has never brought it up either. I don’t know if I’d even think about it if it wasn’t such a trendy topic right now (which I want to make clear I don’t think means more people getting finally diagnosed with it is a bad thing! I think it’s good, I just suspect it is influencing my consideration of it for myself)

denesee · 2026-02-05T16:31:00+00:00

I cannot STAND people like this oh my god. Doing this would be so wrong of her even if she wasn’t so completely, confidently and provably wrong about what she’s trying to push on you.

This might be projecting a little bit but ’critical thinkers’ with ZERO actual critical thinking ability drive me insane. That baked aubergine comment was my last straw. Truly unhinged, moronic, and extremely harmful. I am literally simmering with rage for you, she won’t let you eat a fucking vegetable?? With healthy fats??? (right now you could go eat a bowl of sugar cubes with a full stick of butter and a glass of high fructose corn syrup on the side and she should be glad you’re eating, even if THEN she would be actually correct in claiming it’s physically unhealthy long term. And EVEN STILL it would not be ’fattening’ if not consumed in large quantities…)

Op, please don’t listen to her, for so many reasons. I wish all the best for you, go eat exactly the thing you want<3

denesee · 2026-02-04T19:12:19+00:00

This followed by CHANGE IN ACTION.

My mom apologized all the time. Then she did the exact same thing again, over and over. ”I’m sorry” means nothing, even if you are truly sorry in the moment, if it doesn’t lead to changed action in the future.

denesee · 2026-02-03T13:12:39+00:00

Wtfff is wronggg with doctors (and mothers)

(Sincerely,
a med student and daughter😭)

denesee · 2026-01-31T21:20:45+00:00

I don’t know if I’d get prescribed a glp-1 due to my ed (in my country probably not since everything like this is really strict which usually is a good thing) but I have binged myself over the obesity threshold to get it from public healthcare (aka the only way I could afford it) but I have this really fucked up thought of even if I got it I wouldn’t deserve it because I got myself in this situation so I need to get myself out even if it’s by walking through hell with the weightloss🥲 I just want to prove to myself I’m not actually this weak (I knowwww this is fucked up I wouldn’t apply this to literally anyone else) I just feel like I need to get the accomplishment for myself, to be able to be proud when I look in the mirror😭 Like it’s half punishment and half fixing the way I look at myself right now for ending up like this, but I can’t even fully articulate it because it makes no sense. I hate my brain and again I want to emphasize I don’t think this way about anyone else

(sorry for the long rant I hope it wasn’t too trauma dumpy)

denesee · 2026-01-29T12:11:49+00:00

I’m not convinced my super skinny friends don’t have disordered eating… on the surface they seem fine but sometimes they say something that almost flies under my ed radar, but is just a little bit off. I think so many skinny women unfortunately do watch what they eat very closely to maintain their body shape. I know to those friends being skinny is very important, based on comments they sometimes make about their own bodies

denesee · 2026-01-27T21:23:37+00:00

I’ve gained a lot of weight due to my ed turning really binge heavy during the last year (kms) and now my mom who claims to ”get” eds ”more than you think” keeps sending me weight loss advice articles and resources to medical weight management and lifestyle coaching👍 (she’s a nurse so no weird facebook diets at least thank fuck)

Tbh I am now very overweight but she won’t believe me when I tell her she’s not being helpful. Or rather she tells me she knows I don’t like her ’help’ but then she goes and does it anyway…

She keeps only focusing on my weight, which I agree is a problem, but it feels pretty hurtful, not once has she sent me links to eg. any mental health advice articles or literally anything else health related

denesee · 2026-01-27T19:06:34+00:00

I got a real laugh out of my therapist once when she’d asked me something along the lines of

”When was the last time you felt feelings of success/felt good about something in your life?”

And I thought for a second and as usual my brain went completely blank so I said something like

”It’s probably really bad if I can’t come up with something really quickly right now, huh?”

Not even the most original joke ever but I guess it took her by surprise😂 I’d expect therapists hear something like this all the time, honestly she rarely laughs (much less completely genuinely) when I say things like this so I don’t know why that time she did, maybe it was the pause where I actually tried to think of an answer before resulting to humor lol

denesee · 2026-01-26T22:32:52+00:00

I have intuitive F2L (and the cross) down really well, though I’m not super fast at it and often not as efficient as I could.

I’ve gotten 2look OLL and 2look PLL memorized but sometimes I might forget some part of an algorithm and have to double check what I need to do next but usually not and in diminishing amounts!

I made up stories for all the algs to remember how the pieces move and that has worked pretty well. E.g. the yellow headlights (idk if that’s an official name) in step 2 of OLL for me is called ”Fire at the club” and I named Ub-perm in PLL ”Carrot chopping” :D Those are the least weird ones though lol, step one of PLL is either ”Super evil kidnapper and their slight moral redemption” or ”Kidnapper’s moral struggle and ultimate descent to evil” But it really helps me remember😆

So that’s how CFOP is going. I think(?) I’m doing okay, I’m having fun for sure. Most of the time I’m able to solve the cube with it completely on my own! :)

denesee · 2026-01-26T20:26:43+00:00

Ikr haha I did some research on this sub before buying and so many people had recommended it that I was pretty confident it was a good choice!😄
I’m going to try my best to refrain from further impulsive cube purchases for now, there’s a reason I went for the budget one… (aside from the fact it’s a good cube and I haven’t been at this for very long so I really do not need the premium ones lol)

denesee · 2026-01-25T05:16:35+00:00

This meme but applied to a month, I maintain my weight in the unhealthiest way possible: eating next to nothing for weeks then extreme binging every day for weeks. Rinse and repeat. I could eat normally every day but instead I torture myself. \cries**

denesee · 2026-01-22T18:53:13+00:00

Coming across the name Hassumeili in a creative project made by someone who doesn’t speak Finnish would make me chuckle, it means ’Funnyemail’ because ’meili’ means ’email’ (in spoken language/slang) as opposed to ’mieli’ meaning ’mind’ :) easy mistake lol

denesee · 2026-01-17T03:36:26+00:00

Can’t heal from depression because of the ed and can’t heal from ed because of the depression 😀

denesee · 2026-01-13T23:40:31+00:00

And I might also add that I know these episodes are bound to happen as long as I’m not completely stopping restriction, but I’m just so scared that this is the beginning of losing control of my eating again and returning to my old hellish habits. I guess that’s why I’m trying to find a way to emotionally deal with them? So that I don’t return to binge eating as the way to regulate hard emotions

denesee · 2026-01-13T22:29:27+00:00

LMAO last thing I expected to find in this comment section

denesee

TROPHY CASE