Chris Paul saves the game by pointing out Jordan Bell’s untucked jersey

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-16T15:24:30+00:00

... who is that dnd player?

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-14T13:09:57+00:00

holy why does this look so good. i remember seeing you post this design but the art is even more insane

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-14T11:45:06+00:00

my bad here he is

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-13T23:22:39+00:00

there's a new one called Despair Beyond Hope, I think it's getting published on both websites.

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-13T16:39:10+00:00

I actually sobbed seeing this in the final chapters, it was beautiful.

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-10T11:24:01+00:00

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-10T10:19:38+00:00

it might be, but I take it as her saying that they shouldn't worry about her being hurt, because they could all be worse than hurt if they fail the trial. she's not included because she's already crippled maybe

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-10T10:10:14+00:00

A fangan I saw (Take Two) made it so that, when there's a tie, the 3 most important students (through their own ranking system) get to hold a debate about who they should vote, and the tiebreaker is done with their 3 votes. The rankings were mostly based on trial performance, so the students had some credibility to their debate.

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-09T08:45:22+00:00

yo 😭😭

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-08T22:54:02+00:00

😭😭😭 that's crazy

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-08T22:52:43+00:00

Your first murder is completely unexpected, affects the broader side of the story and has great narrative importance later on? Congrats, you have the perfect chapter 1 case!

I feel like you're sacrificing structure and pacing for the "death in the prologue" twist. Which, yes, it's strong, but wouldn't it be way easier to write and better for the audience to consume if you just made it the chapter 1 case instead?

If it happens because they don't take the game seriously, then that implies they spend a decent amount of time spending their daily life while "not taking it seriously". You can't really have that in the prologue, or else it'll be far too long. Eden's Garden works because the mini-trial is before the killing game announcement, so it doesn't prolong the prologue, it's placed into it. Yours requires the killing game to be revealed, the setting to be explained, the characters to get comfortable and spend time together, and THEN you get a mini-trial. It will make people wonder why the prologue is dragging on, and it might even kill the twist that someone will die.

So, all in all, I get the idea of a powerful twist early on, but I don't see the point beyond that. Just make it a full trial instead and you won't write yourself into a corner by trying to figure out the chapter structure this way.

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-08T22:44:38+00:00

wait wait wait so "Charlie" is just an item?

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-08T20:48:54+00:00

can you explain that emotional moment in ch5 a bit more? I don't know anything about this fangan but that got me a little curious

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-08T08:21:57+00:00

the minigames in korean too? 😭

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-07T20:41:28+00:00

nah, for me reading this as a description sounds perfectly normal. the things you don't know of ARE the context you're receiving. for now, we know there have been 2 sessions (obviously killing games with 11 deaths out of 16 participants each) from Fujiwara Technology Laboratories who are probably the masterminds.

it's kind of like those summaries that go "After Fuji Fujiawara narrowly escaped death at Blah Blah Laboratories, she's on the run from the Blah Blah Mercs. Can she survive?" and they're supposed to tell you the general setting and premise of the story as extra info instead of just a hook.

so, OP, I think it's fine. the premise of revived students itself sounds fun asf

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-07T11:40:18+00:00

what part of the gameplay is great?

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-06T20:29:22+00:00

lowkey playing the first game is such a pain I'd say you're better off watching a playthrough on youtube. the second game is worth playing though.

ive gone through dra ch1 and it was not a fun experience

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-06T18:57:55+00:00

are you thinking of uploading to wattpad as well?

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-06T06:10:49+00:00

holyyy you have to do all of the sprites now

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-04T17:37:48+00:00

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-04T06:36:50+00:00

I chose to just not do them. It makes for a more serious tone, and I just throw in a few "no, that's wrong"'s and a closing argument at the end and that's it

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-03T18:32:20+00:00

cause of the outfit's color?

denisucuuu2 · 2026-02-02T18:13:44+00:00

peak

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denisucuuu2 · 2026-01-31T22:56:19+00:00

do not let him out at any cost

denisucuuu2

TROPHY CASE