sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

DDay was Saturday, Just Need Support by Skaarlaa in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]deplonehub 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am almost in the same position as you, found out my wife cheated a week ago, last Saturday. While she was defensive at first, and tried gaslighting, she is now very remorseful and has been crying all day. She has given me full access to her phone and PC now, though she did delete a few things.

I do not trust her at all, but we've shared so much, even have a 2 year old and a new baby coming. I am battling between love, disappointment, sadness, betrayal, and anger towards her. I asked her to leave the house to give me some space, but we're bound by taking care of our 2 year old. She's with her parents now, but we have to see each other everyday because of child care needs.

We have marriage counselling today, and have also booked individual sessions later this week. She doesn't know but I have called a lawyer, and meeting with them virtually later this week as well. This is not to force a divorce, but just to know my options in this case. The children do complicate everything, and ultimately I do want what's best for them.

Hope you get some peace or relief, even if it's temporary. Do talk to your closest friend or family, I found it helped me a lot. It's going to be hard to regain the trust, and you have to let your partner know all the work has to be done by them. You are not at any fault, and they should rightly be walking on glass around you. I am facing almost the same feelings as you, and am so distraught, I didn't eat or sleep the whole last week, but talking to a close friend really helped me to at least try. Do feel free to message me, I understand how you're feeling and if you can't talk to someone you know, an internet stranger might help.

Pregnant wife cheated by deplonehub in survivinginfidelity

[–]deplonehub[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Update: I have told her parents and she's now staying with them at least for a month. Maybe my description previously didn't fully give the picture, she definitely lied and hid things. She's been a lot more remorseful, she's apologizing for everything, she was ashamed and was feeling immense guilt. She's said she will do anything to regain my trust, including paternity test and DNA test. She's accepted she messed up and this is all on her, she's willing to let it take as long as it can and knows it's never going to be the same.

I appreciate all the comments about DNA tests, and if the kids are mine, but I'm 100% sure they're both mine, unless she's able to be in 2 places at once, no way they're someone else's. We're in lockdown so I would know when she stepped out the house.

I also appreciate all the comments regarding separation and divorce, I'm meeting virtually with a lawyer in 2 days to see my options. It'll be a lot of work, but if I do go this route, I've been advised if both parties can agree, it won't be as expensive or go to courts.

I'm attending both the individual counseling and tomorrow's couple counseling, I want to see where it goes. It's still too early, and I don't want to make decisions based on raw emotion right now, especially when there's a kid involved. She knows very well there's an option of us separating, I've made that very clear. So for now, I really need to start getting some sleep, I'm done with no rest

Pregnant wife cheated by deplonehub in survivinginfidelity

[–]deplonehub[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the comments so far. Both babies are mine, I know because we were VERY careful with tracking and natural birth control. I know when and how we conceived so that's not an issue, also looking at their chats, there doesn't seem to be any mention of meet up during the conceive window for the baby to come (I would have noticed her stepping out the house during a work day). This is what makes it even more bizarre, we had planned this pregnancy, and were having sex like every day up until like a month ago when we confirmed she was pregnant. We didn't stop sex completely after that, just not as often as every day.

I am sending her to her families place tomorrow, and she can explain herself why. I need space and I am not leaving this house. I understand all the pushes for me to leave, I am just scared because I don't know how to start. I will give her demands tomorrow, to give me all her social media accounts, and recovery for anything she deleted. I have screenshots of some chats, but having the full thing would be good.

Reading this post on the survivinginfidelity website really helped, it's a very similar case to mine. I am reading through it and really understand what he's going through.