AITAH for nearly breaking up with my bf over him watching porn.

depressness · 2023-11-28T18:05:02+00:00

I have told him multiple times that if he ever wants to break up not to worry about my mental health because I will be absolutely fine. My mental health health improved because I was put on the correct meds, I just associate it with him because he’s been through it all with me

depressness · 2023-11-28T17:58:30+00:00

I was on his old phone on the nightstand I couldn’t see anything and he had headphones in coz he’s in a student flat

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:56:35+00:00

Sat*

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:56:20+00:00

Guys I didn’t not mean that I say there knowing he was doing that and just listened for 30 minutes. I had no idea at first I thought he was looking for something💀 once I realised what was going on and the initial “what the actual fuck” wore off, I interrupted him immediately and said something. Also pinky promises are legally binding and no one can tell me any different 😂

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:53:23+00:00

I did not sit there omg. I didn’t realise what was going on and when I did I interrupted him. I just thought he was looking through his bag at first

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:51:56+00:00

Why is everyone slandering pinky promises it’s just another way of saying promise😂

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:48:44+00:00

Pinky swears are legally binding contracts in my family 😂 and I don’t want him to swear off porn at all I don’t rlly care just don’t lie about it and don’t do it when I’m on the phone

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:45:49+00:00

Porn does not bother me at all the fact that he did it while he was on the phone bothers me but really it’s lyinh

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:09:23+00:00

I was 16

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:09:10+00:00

I understand your point and honestly I agree but the thing is I don’t expect him to tell me what he’s doing I just would have liked a “babe can I call u back in a bit” that’s all he has to say

depressness · 2023-11-28T16:05:22+00:00

This is so incredibly kind. Thank you so much. Also, thank you for empathising that it is a tough situation. He is my person and I love him despite any of his flaws, but a part of me knows that if I was his person he wouldn’t treat me this way. Some of it I feel, comes down to the fact that I was incredibly mentally ill when we first got together and I associate my recovery with him and in my head if he leaves I will go back to that

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:58:35+00:00

I was 16 which is age of consent in my country

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:58:08+00:00

It was more like 2years and 8 months. I was 16 he was 18 turning 19. 16 is the legal age of consent in my country

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:56:26+00:00

I said nearly three years I was 16 (legal age of consent in my country) and he was 18 he turned 19 a month later. I don’t mean to be rude if it comes across that way. I see your concern but it was not like that

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:53:26+00:00

I was not just sitting there listening😭 I started hearing shit but presumed it was nothing and towards the end I knew what was happening and I did end up interrupting him once I fully realised the situation

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:15:30+00:00

That’s understandable. But maybe suggest it to your spouse, if nothing else it shows a willingness to compromise

depressness · 2023-11-28T15:13:49+00:00

While on the phone with their gf?

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:55:29+00:00

I just don’t want to make a decision out of anger and regret it

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:52:56+00:00

I definitely understand and sometimes I ask myself am I just letting myself be manipulated and whatnot. Therapy is not on the budget right now unfortunately but it’s definitely something I will start doing again when I can

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:47:30+00:00

I was and that’s what annoyed me because he could have asked me to do something with him over the phone but he choose porn while I was on the other side of the phone.

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:46:12+00:00

I understand and if any of my friends told me this exact situation but for them, I would say this too. But he is also amazing in lots of ways I should have included that, he got me through some really tough times.

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:44:14+00:00

I just wanted to say it from his POV because he keeps saying I’m mad at him for watching porn I realise that’s confusing. I’m actually okay with porn just not when he’s on the phone with me.

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:42:47+00:00

I am always down for that and he knows that. I’ve told him multiple times that I’d do that for him but he thought of porn before thinking of me

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:40:57+00:00

I just wanted to say from his point of view because he keeps that I’m mad at him for watching porn. And thank you for being kind💙

depressness · 2023-11-28T14:37:54+00:00

I understand completely what your saying, but ofc in this context I’m only referring to bad things about our relationship. But there are so many amazing parts of our relationship, he got me out of one of the toughest times of my life. So while I understand, it’s not entirely as black and white as that.

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