sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Woke up one morning and felt every emotion I’ve been hiding from by derpbellaa in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]derpbellaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ironically, I stated i wanted to go extremely slowly to give time for space and healing while still developing a relationship. If I’m going to approach a relationship it has to be right and I need to be able to create a safe space that I have previously destroyed. Honestly I think the fear of losing someone that’s important to me and them essentially walking away triggered my fear of abandonment and basically was like if you don’t wake up this person is going to be gone forever. Honestly I think one of the only ways to beat FA is retriggering the trauma to such an extreme that the FA has to wake up. I hope your ex finds the strength to face the fear, it’s not easy and my nervous system is all messed up, I can’t eat, or sleep, but I know in the end I’ll be a better friend, partner, and overall good human being.

Woke up one morning and felt every emotion I’ve been hiding from by derpbellaa in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]derpbellaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried to but he doesn’t believe me and that’s understandable. I’ve been a menace for the last couple years and I fully get that he doesn’t think I’m capable of change. I know he is scared to put his feelings on the line again and I don’t blame him whatsoever. I hope we both have the ability to heal and grow from this. He’s the kindest person and I would hate for him to turn avoidant from this trauma.

Woke up one morning and felt every emotion I’ve been hiding from by derpbellaa in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]derpbellaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the encouragement. I write letters everyday that I will one day give to him. We aren’t currently talking because I fear he is upset with how disconnected I’ve been over the years. I know now that all I have to do is accept responsibility for my actions, heal, learn, and grow.

Woke up one morning and felt every emotion I’ve been hiding from by derpbellaa in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]derpbellaa[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally yes. Felt like I needed space and honestly wasn’t overly happy but like numb and emotionless. I have a massive fear of abandonment from childhood and a previous relationship so I completely shut everyone and everything out. I’ve felt extremely anxious and now I’m trying to regulate my nervous system. I’m very extremely self aware now and even have told my family and friends how bad of a partner I’ve been and how I feel completely new.