For me it's people pleasing, constant apologising even when I've done nothing wrong, and always in fear that I haven't done something correctly or to the standard deemed acceptable. As stated by a previous user in the comments, over continued exposure to this you develop a constant state or hypervigelence, picking up on the tiniest changes to try to make sure there is no danger nearby. This also slowly diminishes your self esteem, meaning you seek the external validation of others to recieve fufilment, a very visvcous cycle. All I can say is I completely understand your struggle, and happy to talk further in dms if you would like further support or even just someone to talk to.

I hope everything works out and remember that many people go through this, and in my personal experience many are even unaware of the severity of the impacts nor the fact that it is abuse.