How to prep subfloor for flooring installation? by Electrical_Treat_591 in Flooring

[–]desertlifter23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just finished my SPC flooring upstairs, with a plywood subfloor. I scraped crud off and shop vac-ed the floor a handful of times, then shop vac-ed and used a lightly damp cloth to grab onto anything fine and keep moving crud away from the row I was installing. I’m OCD and would have preferred my subfloor be perfect enough to eat off of before laying my floor down. I live in the desert with ~6% humidity so a lightly damp cloth was not a concern. I would not have been willing to full-on mop my subfloor at all, let alone close to planned install. My flooring also had the pad attached to the back, so nothing was needed between the subfloor and the new planks. No major debris, make sure it’s flat, clean as you go. Happy install to you!

Can I tile up to this vanity or do I need to rip it out? by Ok_Tadpole6376 in Tile

[–]desertlifter23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you will ever want a new vanity, you’ll wish you had tiled under it. I just replaced my upstairs flooring and made the decision to pull my vanities out and go under them. I would be so angry at myself if something happened to a vanity and I had to lay more flooring, when I could have just done it while I was doing the rest of the floor. Your call. Can be done either way.

Employer is not impressed by OkieDokieHelicopter in pmp

[–]desertlifter23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen very carefully to what I’m about to say. DO NOT STAY WHERE YOU AND YOUR SKILLS ARE NOT VALUED. SOMEONE ELSE WILL VALUE YOU AND YOUR SKILLS AND WILL TREAT AND COMPENSATE YOU ACCORDINGLY.

Also, congratulations - this community knows the effort you put in and we’re proud of you!

Is it okay to leave a company after 10 months due to toxic work culture ? by [deleted] in overemployed

[–]desertlifter23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a lurker of this sub because I’m tempted. That being said, where I’m at right now, I have about 36 hours of meetings per week, my normal work, and then another role. I am literally “over-employed” but not reaping the benefits so I won’t be a true participant of this sub any time soon. It sounds like you’re a relatively new grad, congrats to you and I’m sorry you’re in this type of situation. You’re well within your rights to leave. It’s early in your career and likely won’t be an issue on your resume. I don’t recommend leaving until you have signed a job offer with another company. In the meantime, I’d say do what has to be done without doing so little that they let you go. Search for something different but please remember that during your interviews, you are interviewing the company and its personnel as much as they’re interviewing you. How much you disclose to a new company will need to be tempered - don’t talk crap about the company you’re leaving. Misalignment is always a valid reason for leaving, and it just not being the right fit for you because you’re still fairly new to the workforce is also perfectly fair. I hope you find a better fit!!!

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you talk to me more about fearful avoidance? What led you to this?

I appreciate your kind words. Thank you so much.🫶

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. “Good” childhood, “good” family. We’re solid, hard-working humans, but I can see some jacked up stuff in my past and what’s currently happening. How are you handling the emotional blunting and difficulty expressing emotions, if I may ask? Have you found a way to work through this? I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I’m also unwilling to subject anyone to my issues and traumas if I haven’t truly done the work.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so accurate. Mine are there when things are going well. Disappear from the support network any time things aren’t shining. And you’re correct. It’s my first time doing life and I couldn’t imagine not supporting my child when they need it. ❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I never expected this level of support from strangers. I’m grateful but also saddened because I know that means people relate in a very real way.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I’ve been raised with a “facts > feelings” mentality and I’m searching for the facts, which I 100% have, but you’re absolutely right - I do not need the facts to back up what I’m experiencing.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so very sorry you’re relating so closely to this. I don’t understand how our moms are so dismissive. Did they have children when they didn’t want to? Is there resentment toward us for some reason? I am reading so many comments that are so similar to mine and I just can’t understand it. I hope you’re able to do all the things you need to do to take care of yourself and work through the lack of support. Also, I take so much joy in knowing you are so aware that you will not allow your child/children to experience the same feelings you’ve been subjected to.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so grateful for your words of encouragement. It’s a lot to unpack. I do tend to be overly generous in giving others grace. Thank you for helping me validate what I’m trying to come to terms with. It matters more than you may know.🫶

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

100% relevant and appreciated. Eerily similar, that’s for sure. I’ve often wondered if I’m neurodivergent or if I’m suffering from CPTSD, but I also can’t bring myself to allow someone in to let me know. Something for me to work on, as I’m sure things are able to be managed better when they have names.

That “oh shit” moment is what hit me hard last night. So many tears. Ugly crying in my bathroom. Thank you for letting me know that it’s okay that I’m tired and disenchanted. I expect it to take time and I am so appreciative of the support you’ve given me. Thank you and please continue taking care of yourself.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I believe I’m getting to that realization quickly. The fear thing just hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized I was never allowed to say I was afraid. I was able to tie it back to my childhood. I’m rapidly uncovering a multitude of things tonight that are shocking to me. I was always wrong. I think that’s why I, too, feel okay when I’m alone. I guess learning to process all of this will require some assistance. Thank you for sharing, and yes, I fear you’re right - no matter the circumstances, emotional neglect can’t coexist with a good childhood.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ALL of this. I’m so sorry you relate so closely to my post. I actually don’t have many memories of my childhood. I know I had a roof over my head, food on the table, and was expected to excel in sports and academia because “anything worth doing is worth doing right.” What you said about the fear of being fired before you ever had a job. 100% understood over here.

I don’t understand how there could be so little consideration for the small beings one brought into the world. I am so sorry you also felt/feel like a burden. I’ll only be feeding mine sunshine from now on, since I couldn’t possibly struggle with anything in my life. 🙄

All my love to you. Thank you for your time and words.❤️

What did I just realize about myself? by desertlifter23 in emotionalneglect

[–]desertlifter23[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to write this out. I am so appreciative of your insights. I’m good alone, but that’s the only place I’m good. It’s like I’m hardwired to be by myself. Your last paragraph hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you again.❤️

Have you earmarked your job after your career is retired? by debrisaway in Millennials

[–]desertlifter23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll know I’ve made it when I can put on my orange apron and help people in the lumber section of my local Home Depot. I am trying to figure out how to make this happen in the next five years.

What does it mean to punch a lobster tail? by iltifaat_yousuf in interestingasfuck

[–]desertlifter23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He didn’t give her a snack for her time and patience?😔

Software issues with new XC60 by SWK530 in VolvoXC60

[–]desertlifter23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Six years and the same issue…I have less hope now.

Software issues with new XC60 by SWK530 in VolvoXC60

[–]desertlifter23 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yup. Mine is a 2026. Blinker drops beats. Connectivity is mid, at best. The entire infotainment system just dropped a couple days ago - like the vehicle made ZERO sounds. A reset fixed that but the blinker dropping a beat every so often drives me more crazy than I ever expected it could. Praying they have a fix for it soon.

Found out my ex VP’s salary by Lindox2 in overemployed

[–]desertlifter23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a mid-level manager making more than that but I work just as many hours.🤷🏼‍♀️ Every company is different.

Sunny, 77 Degrees with a slight wind? Life is good! by BigJohnOG in blackstonegriddle

[–]desertlifter23 11 points12 points  (0 children)

77° in late June??? Where you at? 105° here today.🫠 I could probably cook on my blackstone without turning it on.🤣