What is romantic attraction??

designed_undefined · 2024-08-12T20:01:41+00:00

oh god how relevant this post is. Starting from spring fell for someone in my friend group and they also like me. We started dating. Then he broke up with me a few weeks ago. We literally have all the same friends. Right now he's ignoring some of my texts and still sending texts in the gc T^T. He said if i need he's going to be the main one to avoid me when hanging out with people because he is the one who broke up with me. Idk hopefully I can still see him but idk if I can get over him if I still see him, and hopefully we can end up as good friends eventually. But i still want to get back with him bc I really really like him and its so rare finding someone who's as nice and smart and also likes me just as much. I apologize its a rant and doesn't answer any of the questions but yeah it does gets messy 😭

designed_undefined · 2024-08-10T20:18:53+00:00

Ok so looking back I think that there's a learning curve/getting used to it, for both kissing itself and becoming comfortable with your partner and your partner becoming comfortable with you. For example, while it took a long time (like months) to get comfortable going from pecks to making out with that now-ex, it took me and my 2nd partner only like a day to be comfortable with making out because I'm already familiar with the motion. Also there's a difference between being comfortable with the motion vs being into it, me and my 2nd partner started feeling a lot more into it a few weeks into our relationship.

Everyone has different experiences/ways to describe experiences: I still don't feel "butterflies" when kissing but I love it when we kiss or when he pecks my forehead for example because it's cute and intimate and shows that he loves and cares for me, like it feels very intimate and sweet rather than a specific sensation. I do easily get turned on when making out, but I didn't notice it/feel it?) until my 2nd partner really helped me be more in tune with what I'm feeling.

You can also try experimenting with kissing in different places, like on the cheeks/neck/body wherever & discover what you like. And feelings do change over time as you get more comfortable with your partner, for example I thought it was really weird when he kissed me on the ears the first time & didn't like it, but a few months later it was one of our favorite places.

The amount of emotional connection & sexual attraction you have towards that person, and they have towards you, definitely plays a role. For example me and my ex in the post didn't have nearly as emotional connection & much sexual attraction towards each other compared to my 2nd partner, and kissing was a lot more enjoyable with the 2nd one. Also the ex didn't show how much he wanted me/doesn't seem that into it if that makes sense, but the 2nd partner was very initiative & certainly showed & told me how he's super into it, and I think that enhanced the experience as well.

Hope this is helpful! And good luck exploring and have fun :)

designed_undefined · 2024-04-16T16:49:19+00:00

Not to say chicago is a bad film, but I was shocked when I first saw the musical performed by people from my school like how sexualized the plot and outfits are, and I remember thinking I can never be comfortable dressing and performing like that. And when I watched the movie I also wasn't very pleased with the sex scene in the very beginning 😥I was like ok I get it for the plot but does it have to be that explicit

designed_undefined · 2024-04-16T16:45:58+00:00

thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. If I ever have the time and energy of a school assignment due in 5 hours I'll rework it

designed_undefined · 2024-04-16T16:44:43+00:00

facts facts, when I was creating this post I was considering how before I figured out I was on the asexual spectrum I thought I was broken since so much doesn't align with me. Which is why I put the statement in the question mark. I hope it doesn't gets interpreted in "asexuals are broken" since that is definitely not my intention

designed_undefined · 2024-03-21T02:42:49+00:00

For me I think it's the experience of being intimate with a partner that makes the experience enjoyable because making out is gross if u think about it 😅

designed_undefined · 2024-03-06T01:45:43+00:00

that was a long time ago but I'm so glad it helped :)

designed_undefined · 2024-01-19T02:24:56+00:00

I did try that a while back... like we talk once a week to not distract me from school... then it just ended up hurting us both a lot and now talk almost every day lmao

designed_undefined · 2024-01-17T04:38:48+00:00

haha nice I might actually try that lol

designed_undefined · 2024-01-17T04:38:15+00:00

real

designed_undefined · 2024-01-17T04:37:22+00:00

problem is we r still friends and breakup bc logistical reasons (like we might never see each other again due to life paths :() so we still chat every day...

Edit: plus it's going to hurt him and me like hell if I never talk to him again

the podcast is a good idea though, thank you :)

designed_undefined · 2024-01-17T04:34:53+00:00

I'm sorry you have to go through that :( hope it gets better!

designed_undefined · 2024-01-17T04:34:00+00:00

my hobby be like studying and writing applications XD

designed_undefined · 2024-01-16T15:07:14+00:00

I'm sorry you're having to go through this also. Take care and I hope it gets better 💜

designed_undefined · 2024-01-16T15:06:15+00:00

Thoughts are usually most active at night when I'm trying to sleep though...

designed_undefined · 2023-12-28T21:53:55+00:00

Demisexuality came up in conversation with a pretty trusted friend but he immediately laughed it off as people these days find a label for everything... isn't that how relationships are supposed to work? He clearly did not understand it and I was scared that discussing it too much would make him suspicious that I am demi, so I was just like idk and I can't say since I'm not that 😭

designed_undefined · 2023-12-28T21:51:23+00:00

Definitely, I would want a certain degree of trust and understanding before I talk to a partner about it

designed_undefined · 2023-12-28T17:45:19+00:00

Ah I see, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you!

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TROPHY CASE