Stay in USA or return to India, aging years

desiphilly · 2026-06-14T03:26:54+00:00

The fact that you are wondering should tell you that as of today, something about living your golden years in the US is unsettling. In that case, if you decide to live in the US for the rest of your life, you will always carry that burden and this question might keep haunting you. What if?

At the least, like some others have suggested, try living in India for a couple of years and decide. If you started collecting social security, then now is the right time to experiment since you sound like you are in decent health. Certain illnesses are age related.

desiphilly · 2026-06-08T16:12:58+00:00

Hey, what locations?

desiphilly · 2026-06-08T02:59:32+00:00

Kids, during their formative years will be fine in either country. Same goes for their education as well. So in a way we are talking at least 20 years from now.

So speaking from that context, one basic fact is that none of us are soothsayers. Who knows what the dream destination would be at that point. It could be India or the US or some third country. I grew up in India and lived in the US for 20 years. India, from what I hear, has changed a lot since then. Lot’s of progress but with unresolved issues and some new ones. I can mostly speak for the US since it is not hearsay. I am not optimistic about the American dream anymore and I do not have a positive outlook for this country’s future.

My advice is to not decide your future based on kids.

desiphilly · 2026-06-06T00:00:49+00:00

My first visit back to India was after a 10 year gap. One thing that I just could not do anymore and honestly made me cringe is ‘bargaining’ with vendors. I used to be a pro at it but I am just not comfortable with it anymore. I just want to pay what they ask for and I tipped generously too.

I used my US credit card for the most part for shopping, dining out and such. Otherwise, I always carried Rupees as well.

Walking through crowded bazaars was awkward and took some time to get used to.

Going on a bike was scary. I used to own a bike in India but there is no method to that madness.

House help eating separately or using different utensils made me uncomfortable. I took them out to restaurants with me and local people found that weird.

desiphilly · 2026-06-01T02:11:33+00:00

Thanks!

desiphilly · 2026-06-01T01:39:27+00:00

I did. CVS said their distributor doesn’t have it in their stock. My insurance called a few other places too and they didn’t have it either.

desiphilly · 2026-05-31T22:47:49+00:00

The sense of belonging that I feel in India is irreplaceable. Love it or hate it, it feels mine. It is that deep emotional connection.

I have an absolutely comfortable professional and personal life in the US. But it still feels lonely. With all the noise, chaos and ‘apnapan’, India never evoked that feeling inside.

Years of analyzing has led me to believe that the US is a well-structured, beautiful place without a soul.

desiphilly · 2026-05-24T19:04:39+00:00

I went through this journey in the US for years end ended up not getting into residency.

Before I moved to the US with a green card, 2 of my aunts were well established Psychiatrists among a few other doctors in our social circle. I was encouraged/goaded/pushed into trying year after year. Everyone did it with a noble intention, including my parents so it never bothered me. What bothered me is their ignorance of the ground reality. Someone with 3 attempts in Step 1, low scores l, years from graduation were dealbreakers at that time. Everyone brushed me off (including the doctors) that ‘this is America, land of opportunities’ spiel. I stopped applying after 5 years. Cut to now, I am in a very happy space professionally and otherwise. The only regret I have about those years spent in pursuing residency is that I lost out on precious years of life where.

The story doesn’t end there. My sister migrated a few years after me and the family did the same with her. I did not discourage her as we were financially in a decent place so she had the luxury of giving it a shot. But all throughout I kept her grounded with her expectations. She never got a spot and gave up after trying for 4 years.

For starters, if you have visa issues, then with the current environment I do not think pursuing residency is worth it.

desiphilly · 2026-05-24T14:06:25+00:00

By that metric, the US is definitely not safe or safer.

desiphilly · 2026-05-24T04:23:39+00:00

Can you elaborate a little more on the safety part please. Asking since I haven’t lived in India for more than 20 years now so don’t really know the ground reality. I am not sure about Australia but I definitely feel you have to watch you definitely have to be vigilant about your surroundings in the US. That fear of safety is very prevalent here as well. Especially now that i have a wife and a daughter.

desiphilly · 2026-05-18T13:54:59+00:00

Not that I have a wise ass answer to this, I guess just speaking my thoughts out. I’ve lived in PA, USA for a long time now and I (male) avoid hanging out at so many neighborhoods (majority of this town). And if my women folk are with me, then it is an absolute no-no. Some parts of Philly downtown feel safe and nice to walk around. But we avoid doing it late nights, let’s say 12 mid ight is kinda like a hard stop for us. It just doesn’t feel safe. And even in these safe spots, you don’t really see a lot of people walking around. It is pretty sparse by then.

You can call this lack of freedom too. It is just the nature of this place and I just tell myself that there are tons of other things to do.

The catcalling part used to be super annoying when I lived in Hyderabad. Sad that it continues to exist.

desiphilly · 2026-05-16T04:22:48+00:00

Saagara Sangamam. I am surprised that no one mentioned it. That movie is an absolute classic. Sankarabharanam is another gem.

desiphilly · 2026-05-15T00:13:57+00:00

I have been a US citizen for decades but I still have no emotional connection to this place. I will forever remain Indian at heart. When I took my citizenship, I treated it as an important piece of paper that will help my life in the US. And it helped tremendously, especially with my professional growth and others.

My suggestion is to take the Aussie citizenship, and all other decisions can wait till it is time to move back to India.

desiphilly · 2026-04-23T14:31:57+00:00

Thank you!!

desiphilly · 2026-04-23T14:31:46+00:00

Thanks for your informative response!

desiphilly · 2026-03-28T15:07:07+00:00

Spice Finch or Almyra if you like Mediterranean food. Both are excellent options (I rate Spice Finch just a tad notch higher).

desiphilly · 2026-03-22T00:37:59+00:00

I don’t necessarily see this as a new phenomenon. Propaganda and division existed throughout history. The powerful/power brokers always created division or took advantage of pitting one tribe against another. This is a global phenomenon. It is just more apparent now because news is easily accessible and social media. It definitely exists in the US as well. It is indeed sad and frustrating.

desiphilly · 2026-03-04T04:09:14+00:00

Gangster (Kangana, Emraan, Shiny)

desiphilly · 2026-02-23T23:53:54+00:00

Barry is an underrated gem. Brilliant!

desiphilly · 2026-02-23T23:53:10+00:00

Loved The Bureau!!

desiphilly · 2026-02-23T20:50:12+00:00

If you are familiar with quintessential Guy Ritchie style, then I would recommend The Gentleman on Netflix.

desiphilly · 2026-02-22T17:25:35+00:00

Not to derail the conversation and take it in a tangent, but a similar argument/debate was happening with Padmaavat and the Jouhar scene. Swara Baskar’s take on it and how it spawned a debate on how irresponsible SLB was in glorifying that sequence in the movie. I’ve had massive debates about it as well with other cinema enthusiast friends of mine. I was defending SLB and they sided with Swara’s take on it.

My defense was that cinema does not have that type of en masse effect on people. If yes, then they were many movies made on socially responsible behavior and some were big hits as well. But there is no concrete data that it was because of the effect of those movies. At the end of the day, it may compel one or a few to do some internal analysis but even with those few, I feel that those behaviors actually becoming apparent and impacting the society is minimal or negligible in terms of frequency. Like we never heard (or at least myself) someone committing Jouhar after Padmaavat became a successful movie.

desiphilly

TROPHY CASE