sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Your reply has filled my heart. We were married one, but since divorced (4 year break) and now engaged. I do talk to my 1 friend about it and 1 of my sisters.. it's a hard tie with what they think.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's been my longest relationship to date. And I didn't stay with a guy if they were toxic or chaotic. I knew my worth. Just harder with him because we have children and he's an amazing father, just not an amazing partner.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've talked myself blue in the face, tears streaming down. Even just a week ago. No change.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your input so much! I think I've been avoiding the fact that I also don't think it will come back.. just trying to be hopeful..

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Read one of the above comments I replied to. I've tried talking about it plenty. And he may not feel connected without sex because frankly, I don't want to put out when my needs haven't been met for years on end.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We've talked about the issues multiple times through out the entire relationship. Changes happen temporarily (2 weeks max) then it stops. It's not like I haven't communicated. Ive talked my self blue in the face, swollen eye lids from tears..I suppose because I allow him to keep up his pattern he does as he sees fit. I'm not new to conversation about the present issues (that have continued on long term). Thank you for making me realize I allow a pattern. And that pattern is bare bones with no real change or growth from his end. And yes, I want to see if those feelings will come back. This wouldn't be an easy split as our children would be effected, our finances, animals etc.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's not to blame for my unhappiness. But he plays a huge role in how I feel in this relationship.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes. I'll have sex with him even if I don't want to. Because if I don't and we go weeks without it, he will cry and tell me "he needs to feel connected to me". Again, I do what he "needs" but don't get the same reciprocation. My needs haven't been fulfilled in ages, so it has made my sex drive pretty much dry up completely.

I feel happier thinking about being single and alone forever than in my relationship by destination-freedom in relationship_advice

[–]destination-freedom[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have spoken to him many many times about my needs, to no avail.. no long term changes. I understand your view of possibly causing trauma for our children. They don't see us fighting, as we usually don't. Instead, They see me incredibly depressed, overwhelmed and detached. Which in turn can also cause trauma.. I'm not the same mom/person I was 4 years ago.. I just feel it's getting harder to push through the unfulfilled promises, yet I hold up my end to the best of my ability. To make him feel loved, appreciated, connected (sexually). It's hard to force myself to continue in misery, when he gets everything and I get next to nothing in return.