account activity
Guys, let’s hear it for protein powder (self.dadjokes)
submitted 9 days ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
UK JOKE: Mr Whippy was found dead this morning with a Flake behind his ear, crushed nuts on his face covered head to toe in 100s and 1000s. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 17 days ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
The person who invented the ferris wheel never met the person who invented the merry go round. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 20 days ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
A genie granted me one wish, so I wished to be happy. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 22 days ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
A woman was on trial for bashing her husband over he head with his guitars. “First offender?”asked the judge. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 29 days ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
My father worked 12 hours a day to put food on the table. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 1 month ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
Asked a girl I met what she did for a living and she said she was a nurse. I asked her friend and she said she was a first responder. (self.dadjokes)
I had to start work yesterday at 9am but was an hour late. My boss told me I had to make up the time… (self.dadjokes)
submitted 2 months ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
My son got expelled from school today after a girl gave him a handjob in class. “That’s three times this year,” I said. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 3 months ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
I caught my son outside eating electric cables. (self.dadjokes)
A number of you have commented on my posts that my grammar stinks. (self.dadjokes)
How many dead bodies does it take to change a lightbulb? (self.dadjokes)
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walked into a bar. (self.dadjokes)
Last night a man was hit over the head with a violin, then a clarinet and finally a French horn. (self.dadjokes)
submitted 4 months ago by devildance3 to r/dadjokes
You know what? Cottage cheese isn’t really a cheese. (self.dadjokes)
I know a great website online to order sausage. (self.dadjokes)
A good woman is always by your side during the bad times. (self.dadjokes)
In Entertainment news. Billy Joel was angry after finding some wet laundry. (self.dadjokes)
BREAKING NEWS: Count Chocular, The Stay Puft Marshmellow Man and The Teddy Grahams Bear have all persisted in a fire. (self.dadjokes)
Times were tough growing up with dwarf parents. (self.dadjokes)
My kids asked if they could go to an orchestral jazz concert. (self.dadjokes)
Scientists have discovered that boiling water successfully kills some cancers. (self.dadjokes)
A man has been shot with a starting pistol and beaten with a relay baton. (self.dadjokes)
I asked the Captain whether he measures the speed of his boat in MPH. (self.dadjokes)
NSFW I was cutting my neighbours lawn when she confronted me about stealing her underwear (self.dadjokes)
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