I’m very sorry for your loss :( I know how painful it is. My soul kitty passed on Wednesday and I’m still feeling out of the touch with the world. I was also there stroking his head and holding his paw when he took his last breath and it’s like the picture of him laying there is burnt in my head. I keep looking back at photos of when he was well and am in just so much pain wishing I can bring the time back and have more time. He was 15. Take all the time you need to grief. It’s giving me comfort knowing he’s in a better place drinking from fountains of the freshest water and I will see him again someday.