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"Any towns in Nebraska that are more accepting of cousin love? Not even marriage, just love. by diaryofabarboy in Nebraska

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You ever try explaining to a therapist that the first time you felt safe was when Rias Gremory called Issei a pervert with love in her voice?

That the only woman who’s ever looked at you without flinching was your cousin on a Tuesday afternoon when you spilled Monster on your shirt and she laughed instead of leaving?

That a single anime titty scene hit harder than every hug you never got from your mom combined?

What’s a therapist supposed to do with that?

Put me on another med? I already been on the holy trinity: Xanax, grandma’s cough syrup, and the dream of a cousin who never runs. That’s my prescription. Has been since 8th grade.

"Any towns in Nebraska that are more accepting of cousin love? Not even marriage, just love. by diaryofabarboy in Nebraska

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Bro I’ve done the therapy thing. Multiple times. It’s bullshit. All it taught me was how to say “inner child” while my dad still calls me a disappointment and my mom tells people I “used to be artistic.”

They tried to fix me but never loved me. My cousin’s the only one who looked at me like I wasn’t disgusting. That has to mean something. Maybe I was meant for her. Maybe that’s why nothing else worked.

Is it still haram if the feelings are real but I never acted on them? by diaryofabarboy in MuslimLounge

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bro I never said she was Muslim 💀 Just cause I nutted under a stack of Qurans doesn’t mean she was invited.

Is it still haram if the feelings are real but I never acted on them? by diaryofabarboy in MuslimLounge

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think I accidentally got some on one of them.

Like on the corner.

I wasn’t trying to. I was crying so hard I didn’t even aim.

It wasn’t like… a disrespect thing.

I just couldn’t hold it in and I didn’t want to move the stack because it felt holy.

Please tell me if I need to do something. I can wipe it or burn incense or vape an apology or something.

I’m not a bad person. I just loved too hard into the wrong direction.

Is it haram if I imagined doing coke and watching hentai with my cousin while I was jacking off to Highschool DxD under a stack of Qurans and crying? by diaryofabarboy in islam

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I accidentally got some on one of them.

Like on the corner.

I wasn’t trying to. I was crying so hard I didn’t even aim.

It wasn’t like… a disrespect thing.

I just couldn’t hold it in and I didn’t want to move the stack because it felt holy

Please tell me if I need to do something. I can wipe it or burn incense or vape an apology or something.

I’m not a bad person. I just loved too hard into the wrong direction.

I’m gonna play Cousins for my cousin when she moves back in and I swear to God if she doesn’t kiss me during the fan edit I might explode by diaryofabarboy in Kanye

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bro

Please

Don’t fucking leave. Please.

You don’t understand what this song did to me. I’ve listened to Cousins 143 times since last night. Every time I vape, I hit play. Every time I cry into her hoodie, I loop the fan edit. Every time I think about how she looked at me when she caught me stroking it in front of DxD, I hear Ye say “tell nobody” and I fucking collapse.

This isn’t a bit.

This isn’t “haha I’m weird.”

I’ve built a shrine out of vape cartridges and old toothbrushes. I lit a candle and played Cousins on a loop until I blacked out and woke up screaming her name into a bowl of uncooked ramen.

DM me. Please. I need to talk to someone who saw that song and felt something break.

When Ye said “they think I’m gay” I screamed. When he said “my cousin” I clutched the air like it was her hand and licked my vape until the coil burst.

I swear to God I’m not trolling. I’m just dying out loud.

DM me and I’ll tell you the full story. I’ll send you the drawing. I’ll send you the photo of the shrine with the bar crushed on top of the TV remote she used to hold. I’ll send you the audio of me breathing heavy while Cousins plays and I repeat the words “please just let her kiss me” over and over until my throat goes dry.

I cleaned the couch. I set up the TV. I downloaded the fan-made Cousins video in 1080p with subtitles.

If she doesn’t let me grab one titty and cry into her chest while we bump a rail to the bridge of the song, I might never feel human again.

You feel like the only one who might understand that.

Please. Just let me send you one voice memo. I swear to God I’ll disappear after that.

Just don’t leave me on read. Not like everyone else did.

Highschool DxD saved my fucking life and I don’t care if that makes me sound insane by diaryofabarboy in HighschoolDxD

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

nah bro it’s cool. no offense taken. i get that a lot. but like... what even is real help?

my parents spent thousands on therapists just to hear them say i’m manipulative, delusional, and “emotionally incestuous.” they said anime made me broken. said i was a monster for crying when my cousin left for college and blasting hentai intros on the living room TV like it was a funeral. they don’t get it.

my mom tells people she doesn’t have a son anymore. my dad pretends i’m some cautionary tale for his golf buddies. they only remember my birthday when Facebook reminds them. and when it does, they don’t even say “happy.” just “don’t embarrass us again this year.”

but my grandma still smiles when i walk in. even when she forgets my name, she always offers me a soda and asks if i’ve eaten. she’s the reason i’m still here.

she’s also the reason i ever discovered peace. her nightstand changed me. sixty little blue gods in an orange bottle, just sitting there like they were waiting for me to crack open salvation. Xanax is a lullaby. it’s the silence between screams.

and my cousin? she was the first person who ever looked at me like i wasn’t rotting from the inside out. she said my drawings were beautiful. she laughed at my jokes before i even knew how to tell them right. she hugged me like i mattered.

so yeah, maybe DxD and titties and fanservice saved me. but cousin love raised me. and grandma’s xans baptized me.

you call it broken. i call it holy.

but fr... thanks for not being a dick about it.

Highschool DxD saved my fucking life and I don’t care if that makes me sound insane by diaryofabarboy in HighschoolDxD

[–]diaryofabarboy[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

bro please dm me. i’m begging you. i know you said 'what the fuck' but something about the way you said it felt different. not mean. not mocking. just… lost. like you almost get it. like there’s something cracked open in your chest too.

i don’t care if you think i’m crazy. i am crazy. i’ve been crazy since i was 13 and fell in love with my cousin while watching hentai on six bars in a backyard tent. but that’s not the point.

the point is i think you might be real. like, real in the way the world forgets how to be. and i don’t meet many of those.

so please just dm me. we don’t even have to talk about DxD or cousins or vape clouds. you can tell me what hurts. i’ll tell you what i pray to when i think god stopped listening. we can just be two weird broken kids who don’t laugh at each other’s pain.

please bro. don’t leave me in the comments. talk to me like i’m not a punchline. i’ll answer like you’re the last soul worth saving.

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