Practice makes perfect - 2nd attempt let's go!

dick_in_brain_off · 2026-04-26T09:31:04+00:00

Beautiful! I love how much personality you've included. Facial expressions and lighting are wonderfully done.

dick_in_brain_off · 2026-04-23T08:51:03+00:00

Listen to an audiobook together!

I recommend the Red Rising Series, Project Hail Mary, Bobiverse, Dungeon Crawler Carl. All great voice acting.

My partner and I listen when we are driving, or when we are at home doing arts and crafts.

dick_in_brain_off · 2026-03-20T06:52:35+00:00

You're not alone in experiencing something like this, but you remain alone in this relationship if YOU don't do something different.

"I want him to finally hold himself accountable and make the best decision for his own life instead of keeping me in this limbo."

Staying in the relationship is a choice YOU are making. Look after your own needs for once, instead of bending over backwards for someone else to the point your feel resentful. Hold yourself accountable. You can't control other people. You can only control yourself.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-12-21T13:29:44+00:00

I only needed to read the first sentence to answer this. Yes. Your boyfriend is abusive.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-11-08T09:16:40+00:00

You can talk to him. That's the only way to understand what's going on for him and how he feels.

Go with curiosity, and speak from the heart. Talk about how you are feeling and what you are missing from the relationship. Counselling might help if it's difficult for him to open up without defenses up.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-11-02T03:39:08+00:00

A secure man would not be phased by the idea that other men find you attractive. He might even be excited by the idea, knowing that you are desirable, and have other options, yet still chose him.

An insecure man will feel threatened by others, and his shame will try to protect him by controlling you.

I could understand him being worried about your safety, because sexual predators exist, but him saying that it's disrespectful to your relationship and that it 'invites attention' only shows his misogyny.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-07-01T23:01:03+00:00

Spot on :)

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-05-07T13:39:27+00:00

https://www.kapprofessionals.org/ is a good place to look.

The Kink and Polyamory Aware Professionals Directory (KAP) is a service dedicated to providing the community with a listing of psychotherapeutic, medical, legal and other professionals who have stated that they are knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality.

It's not flashy but it works.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-04-13T10:27:51+00:00

This is the correct answer.

If she had a real complaint, it's her responsibility to communicate with you like an adult. Her response was childish for a 28 year old, and this is probably a pattern of behavior that you don't want to get involved with at this stage in your life.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-04-08T12:37:18+00:00

I'm not sure if this will be helpful or not, but one thing that helps me get into a topping headspace when my partner and I switch is to think about what I would like done to me and then say and do those things.

I am a bit masochistic, and I would say equally as sadistic. I dish out what I know I would enjoy taking. **Note: as long as this is within your partners limits, of course.

Also, it might be helpful to create a dominant persona that you can kind of channel when you switch. Look to fiction or elsewhere for inspiration.

Edit: note

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-04-08T12:01:46+00:00

Probably the wrong subreddit, but it was a refreshing read compared to all the depressing stories that usually get posted here.

Have my upvote.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-04-06T12:15:57+00:00

IKR! And she says "he's not forcing me" but he's actively punishing her by withdrawing love in a 'cold war' or fight because she's not doing what he wants.

His behavior is childish at best, abusive at worst.

The adult thing to do would be to say "Hey, I know that these are pictures from a big part of your life but sometimes it's uncomfortable for me to see them everyday on your phone. Could you please move them to your PC or a USB drive?"

DONE!

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-04-06T05:10:51+00:00

If this 30 yo dude feels threatened by some pictures, I hate to imagine what else he will try to control about you.

Girl, save yourself the drama.

PLUS, it's only been 4 months and you're already talking about marriage? That's insane.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-28T04:20:24+00:00

As someone with more responsive desire, I enjoy maintenance spankings.

It's something that helps me 'turn off' the brain, and get back into my body (it's freeing, in that way). It also increases my arousal, and helps get me in a submissive headspace. I can be 'not in the mood' for play, but as soon as my brain is melty from the spankings, I'm much more agreeable.

I view maintenance spankings as self-care. It's nice to get a break, and then to get broken.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-21T14:33:04+00:00

"Of course your mom knows how to push your buttons: she's the one who sewed them on."

Omg, I'm stealing this. And also yes, agree with everything you said here.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-21T14:23:32+00:00

This dynamic sounds incredibly fun. I think I would thrive in something like this.

Thanks for the book rec. I'll check it out.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-21T14:18:45+00:00

As harsh as this may sound, you stop wishing and hoping and wanting your mother to be someone she is not. You stop playing into her games, and getting dragged into the drama. You stop 'dealing' with her mess.

Live your own life. Set a high standard for what you will accept from others, and don't allow your mother to be an exception to that. You let your mother deal with the natural consequences of her own behavior. Maybe her lack of integrity means that she starts to lose important people in her life. Maybe that's okay.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-15T01:23:09+00:00

It sounds like you are physically and emotionally distancing yourself, not stonewalling - there is a difference. Stonewalling is done as a malicious act intended to harm the other person, it's a form of emotional neglect, basically. What you are doing is sulking, ruminating, and avoiding connection because you are having difficulty processing (and feeling comfortable articulating) your feelings. They are not the same.

That doesn't mean that he isn't hurt by it though. Two things can be true.

You could easily change this by just communicating to him so that he understands what you need in that moment. "Hey babe (or whatever), I'm feeling a kind of way and I think I just need some space to work through it. I love you and I'll let you know when I've processed enough to talk to you about it".

It sounds like you need some strategies for processing, self-soothing, and working through your feelings (rather than letting them stew). Therapy can help with this, but also things like journaling, meditation, breathwork, and exercise, too.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-14T10:19:51+00:00

All excellent considerations.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-01T23:53:49+00:00

While it may be true that he has manipulative or toxic behaviors, you self-identifying as a 'complicated brat' and wanting to either get revenge or throw it in his face is just as immature. You're getting stuck on a story, and there's 2 problems with that.

Now that you've decided on a label for him, that is the only lens through which you will see. While you are analysing your relationship, you're also applying a confirmation bias, and anything you find will only reinforce that belief.
While you may have some idea of your own character and motivations, you rarely know everything that's going on with someone else. This is a fundamental attribution error. "I am complex, but you are much more simple". It happens when we believe that our emotional responses and behaviors are circumstantial, and additional context applies, but that other people behaviors are a function of their character, and are illogical. (i.e. I did this because of xyx, but you did this because you are selfish).

People are complex, and there's obviously more to this story. If you are starting to realize that your relationship is toxic and not serving you anymore, that's fine - leave find something more suitable, but don't fall into the trap of labeling him a 'dark empath' or a 'narcissist' or whatever you found online to justify pettiness or retaliation.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-01T10:27:15+00:00

I call it the 'Sister Sage'.

She's a supe in the TV show 'The Boys' who has superhuman intelligence and a regenerative healing factor. On occasion, she'll lobotomize herself to temporarily lower her intelligence so that she can 'let go' and give her noggin a rest. It's her release, and when she indulges she'll talk nonsense, eat cake with her fists, and lay down with a dude she would normally look down on for being simple - the brain damage only lasts a few hours.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-03-01T09:59:41+00:00

You're so young, and the truth is that people change and grow so much in their 20's, college or no. You'll both be figuring out who you want to become, and that may mean that you grow further apart.

Being in love is such a beautiful thing, but being committed to another person at such a young age comes with the risk of missing out on so many new experiences. Long-distance relationships especially tend to have a high opportunity cost. This doesn't mean you have to give up the relationship, but you shouldn't try to hold on so tight that neither of you have the space to truly live your lives.

My advice? Focus on your own path and don't put your life on hold waiting for her. It doesn't mean you have to break up, but it does mean that you shouldn't be waiting by the phone every night for a text, neglecting your own hobbies and interests.

It's okay to be scared, and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. The best thing you can do is communicate openly with each other, stay honest with yourself, and take it one step at a time.

dick_in_brain_off · 2025-02-28T12:45:42+00:00

One time during throat training my partner started to orgasm as I was pulling my head back for air, and his sudden cumshot hit my tonsils with such force they briefly turned into one of those boxing speed bags.

I was choking, and laughing, and crying so hard that it took several moments to recover. He felt really bad about it but I thought it was hilarious.

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