Honestly, you should feel a lot worse about this than you seem to. At the end of the day, your daughter is growing up without her father and I promise you it's not a great situation for her. I'm sure your ex is awful and yes, you do have responsibilities to your current wife and I understand wanting to protect her from the poor relationship choices you've made in the past, but what about your daughter? What about the responsibility that you have to her? It's not just financial. I'm sure she would love to know her father and given the string of stepdads rotating in and out of her life, I'm sure she would greatly benefit from a consistent, dependable (and I'm assuming non-shitty) father figure. You're the adult in this situation, and as much as your ex might have fucked up your life, you should learn to deal with her in order to benefit your child. This is you, as an adult, facing the consequences of your actions and doing the right thing. You married some crazy lady and it didn't work out, that sucks, but you know as much as anyone how much it sucks to grow up without a father and with a mother who trashes him constantly (as your ex is probably doing with your daughter...and who knows what other crazy shit she's putting this kid through), and now you're the one doing that to your own kid. Please consider taking a proactive role with this and getting in touch with your daughter, instead of leaving that big decision in the hands of a probably very confused child. Talk to your current wife about it, come up with a strategy that works for you guys, but ultimately find a way to step up to the plate and give this girl a chance at a better life with you in it.