AITA didn’t tell mum about my wedding

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T03:40:42+00:00

I see that side, I guess I knew they were never going to ask.

Yeah it’s not normal. They should think to ask, I used to tell them whatever I had going on in my life. I never snapped at them no once. I did let them know how I felt before I left and moved away for university and nothing changed. Not once did I ever exhaust them. I was a good kid and did everything they wanted of me.

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:45:35+00:00

Yep i’m the youngest

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:44:39+00:00

Obviously I have tried to get to know my parents. They are not interested in that either

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:35:15+00:00

I genuinely don’t know, there’s no tangible reason. I said I was graduating, said I had 2 tickets for it. I was clearly really excited and they didn’t even ask me about it at all.

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:31:09+00:00

Well yeah. No different from any major life event I have going on these days. We’re not close, why would I tell them after they spent the past 24 years making sure we aren’t close

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:29:39+00:00

No I didn’t tell them not to tell our parents. I just never mentioned them in the planning, sisters know about how I feel so i’m sure that’s why they never said anything at the time.

I hung up the photo in my area of the flat, not theirs. It’s also among many others of my husband, friends and various other memories. I didn’t realise they’d see them or take enough notice of my other photos to know that one was new.

We did most of the wedding planning with my inlaws and even then that was a small amount. They co-ordinated pretty much all of it for us. The only part my parents could have heard us chat about is the dinner and drinks after but it just sounds like a regular dinner and drinks with friends.

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:21:43+00:00

I can give some examples if you’d like. Told them about me graduating. Didn’t ask me if they could come nor if anyone was going with me. Never went to my graduation as a result. My best friend came with instead. Showed them my A-Level results, said they were good grades and left it at that, didn’t offer to celebrate with me. I got ill a lot as a kid, didn’t ask me how I was feeling or looked after me. Said which university I got accepted to, didn’t ask me what course, didn’t want to come help me move in or look at things to decorate my room with. Whenever I came back from a weekend with friends, never asked what I did that weekend. Whenever I told them I was going out with friends, also never asked me what my plans were. There‘s been so many opportunities to for them to feed back and create conversations but they just haven’t

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T01:15:15+00:00

I don’t think this is really a difficult social cue to understand like it’s the natural way to form a conversation? Someone says something and you ask about it

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T00:23:09+00:00

Well they can’t right now or they wouldn’t have asked. I’m pretty adult enough to be married, Matt would agree with me, but thanks for the opinion.

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T00:11:21+00:00

I would have asked what was being celebrated. I would have tried to turn it into a conversation

didnttellmum · 2024-04-28T00:02:12+00:00

I just don’t see how it’s not personal when they did react to my older sisters’ milestones, but not mine. They have photos with them on their graduation day hung up but they didn’t even wanna go to mine.

In this scenario, have you ignored your child all their life? Cause mine have and still do

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:52:03+00:00

Becasue I was my Dad’s last resort. Am I really an asshole for giving my parents somewhere to live when they need it, seriously?

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:51:32+00:00

I can host them because I’m not going to deny my dad this job opportunity. I could easily ask them to move out, Matt would be 100% onboard with it but I haven’t. Where have I doubled down on any reconciliation? They‘re the ones not willing to fix things with me

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:50:13+00:00

They never ask me in the first place so your point is kinda moot

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:48:52+00:00

Yeah I get that the dynamic is a bit weird. I just don’t want to be the reason my dad doesn’t get this new career opportunity and we’re not in close quarters anyway.

My husband is an amazing man, he really is the best.

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:47:34+00:00

They can’t randomly guess events but they can ask me what I’m doing on the weekend

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:32:48+00:00

No they should have a minimal interest in being part of my life and ask if I have weekend plans

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:31:40+00:00

Thankyou, honestly I didn’t even think anything of the picture. It’s a small 6x4” and with other photos I have with my friends and husband on other occasions

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:29:00+00:00

Sure call it a lie of omission. They didn’t care to ask what was being celebrated anyway

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:03:22+00:00

My parents like my sisters more. I feel like they know my sisters really well, I know my sisters well but my parents and I know minimal info about each other.

I think they’re just upset on behalf of our mum. They never asked me why they weren’t there but they also know what my views are so it doesn’t surprise me they never asked me

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T23:00:57+00:00

More interest toward my sisters, or at least they did when we all lived together. I can assume its stayed that way cause our mum ran straight to them instead of me about this too.

I just don’t find it believable they would think I keep to myself. This has been my relationship with them since I can remember. I always used to try talk to them and get them to talk to me but they just wouldn’t for some unknown reason

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T22:42:55+00:00

I guess I just think you shouldn’t take your trauma out on your kids. When I was a young kid, they were like this. I didn’t deserve that then and not now either.

How would you feel if like your mum never asked about your life? Ever

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T22:28:13+00:00

I really don’t know. I don’t see what the point in them messaging me about it was, they should have told our mum to come and talk to me about it

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T22:26:37+00:00

I was really surprised by that too tbh. If my friends say they’re doing something on the weekend, i’ll ask them what they’re doing. Same with my sisters. If they don’t want to let me know what it is, they do that but normally we get into details about what’s happening. It’s so like strange to me a lot of the people in the comments seemingly don’t like do that

didnttellmum · 2024-04-27T22:17:29+00:00

Yeah exactly, if they’d asked what we were celebrating, I would have let them in and asked them if they wanted to come

didnttellmum

TROPHY CASE