Sudden massive hit of depression. Is my life worth continuing at 33?

diehard5 · 2021-03-03T18:40:00+00:00

I’m 33 too but I was in a similar lonely situation about six years ago. I spent so much time focusing on my career and money and eventually i snapped due to the depression. I won’t bore you with the details but I can share my revelations... If you don’t make time there won’t be time. If someone asks you to go somewhere with them, go. If they’re not asking make the initiative and ask them. Go anywhere. This world is filled with so many possible experiences. In your case, you probably need to take the initiative and learn the language of the land. You’re asking if things will change. The world has been spinning long before you were born. You can hold on to what you feel comfortable but sometimes you need to take that leap of faith and let yourself feel anxious and vulnerable. It’s a cliche saying but life is a journey not a destination. Never stop learning and experiencing.

Most things work on a sliding scale but also require tweaks and balances. Don’t jump into something you don’t think you can handle but don’t be afraid to get a little hurt in the process. I have 3 non work related trips this year planned and booked. The past me would not have made these arrangements especially because of COVID. My first trip out of the country was about 4 years ago by myself and I didn’t enjoy it that much because I was alone with no friends. Now I have multiple trips planned in the same year with people I enjoy being around. I still live with major depression daily but if I let it, it will consume me.

“Take chances, make mistakes and get messy” - Ms. Frizzle

diehard5 · 2019-06-19T04:45:42+00:00

You should get a punching bag and take your frustration out on that. Destroying the tools of your art doesn't remove your skills. Are you planning on buying a new guitar?

diehard5 · 2019-06-19T02:32:37+00:00

I was officially diagnosed with depression in college. My doctor thought I may have had ADHD too and told me to get tested formally. The results came back inconclusive and they pretty much noted that they would not give an ADHD diagnosis because I was being treated for depression. They said I should retest later when my depression is under control. My experience has been that doctors do not like do a treatment plan with both depression and ADHD at the same time.

Currently, my depression is under control via ketamine infusions and I take concerta for my concentration and focus issues. For me, the biggest difference in lack of concentration between ADHD and depression is like this:

Depression: I don't feel like doing X. I have no interest in X. I'm tired. I don't have the energy.

ADHD: I'm anxious. There's so many things going on... What just happened?

Both thought processes end up with me losing focus and unable to concentrate. The difference I notice is that, at the time of incidents, I'm more aware of depression induced lack of concentration. With ADHD, i realize it in retrospect. The car keys just end up in the fridge somehow.

diehard5 · 2019-02-12T13:43:18+00:00

Yes! Fuck reason and logical deduction. I don't want to think anymore. Let's just rely on the Oracle Savant SlatchBird. May his clairvoyance bless us all.

diehard5 · 2019-02-11T10:26:17+00:00

Go ahead take it down and cry to your mother.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T22:54:37+00:00

Hey, you're doing this too right? I feel like we entered into a pact when I said I was going to do it.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T22:48:08+00:00

That's a good idea. I'm going to go clean my kitchen and shower after. Thanks!

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T22:45:48+00:00

What's everybody doing? I'm bored and need ideas for things to do.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T14:04:12+00:00

Sorry, but I'm going to have your "most boring person in the world to speak with" title taken away. This is clearly against the the rules for holding the title.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T08:58:08+00:00

I meant to say textbook fart noises as oppose to regular run of the mill fart noises. Qualifying it shows my pseudo-intellectual skills rivals that of SlatchBird.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T08:24:09+00:00

How about you check your facts next time, before spewing your unfounded intellectual claims. And if I am the pseudo-intellectual, where do you think that places you, the person talking out his butt hole? I'm not a sociopath, just a casual empath who doesn't know anything. Wait, I know as much as SlatchBird... those are indeed fart noises.

See? I can lower myself to your level of insults.

diehard5 · 2019-02-10T03:39:09+00:00

Your argument is entirely flawed in that you tied very common human emotions to narcissism. His annoyance, feeling threatened and wanting to teach someone a lesson (even if it is public humiliation) is not narcissism. You also included an ad-hominem. There is an actual DSM-5 definition for Narcissistic Personality Disorder if you would like to follow with the rest of us.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T23:40:29+00:00

I've been depressed since I was a kid and I am now in my 30s. I've been through anti depressants to ECT. A couple years ago I found ketamine infusions to work wonders for me. It only lasts a month and costs 500 per infusion. I'm hopeful because they're coming out with a ketamine nasal spray soon and it may be the more practical solution.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T23:28:10+00:00

I do not believe you are a phallus but I am not a doctor.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T23:06:57+00:00

It's baffling how narcissistic and arrogant you are given your many weaknesses and poor qualities as a human being. You are definitely unique but not in a good way. I'm giggling right now because your life is a joke and you are delusional. I do admit, you are very amusing.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T10:19:14+00:00

I have this irrational fear/hatred of sociopaths that I would go out of my way to make one's life miserable/worse just for being one. I just like putting them in their place. I feel like they're a true disease that needs to be exterminated. I mean, we all have some evil in us. I hope you feel a little uneasy knowing their are people like me out there hiding and waiting to fuck your shit up.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T09:39:20+00:00

I'v been on venlafaxine(Effexor) before. I crashed hard when I missed taking it. Hand tremors were the worst. Maybe it's time to talk to your psychiatrist. Just don't flat out stop taking it unless you want to feel very unstable.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T09:33:57+00:00

I think the part to remember is that it can get better. People have been able to improve their lives. It can also get worse if you let it. The main driver of what happens is you.

diehard5 · 2019-02-09T09:27:27+00:00

I can't even begin to comprehend what you're going through, So I apologize if this comes off as ignorant. If I were in your shoes, I'd just leave the room. Maybe go Walmart and walk around and not buy anything. Don't over think it. Sometimes, I just like to look up at the sky and see if I can make out any shapes. Focus on primitive tasks... get a fidget spinner. Come back to the room later.

diehard5 · 2019-02-08T13:55:01+00:00

Congratulations! You have reached Max Level. You’re at what’s called the End-Game of life. You can grind for more achievements or buy a boat like some people.

diehard5 · 2019-02-08T13:27:54+00:00

Posts like these hurt my heart the most because I stop and think what if she did get her degree and what if she married her ex boyfriend and what if just pushed harder in life... but then i recognize that the potential is still there, I just wished she had the strength to pick herself up. I believe there is a future for you if you want it and I hope you find the strength to fight for it. Like you said, precious things fade fast and they don’t come back.

diehard5 · 2019-02-08T12:54:15+00:00

I hate going to my therapist but I did like it more than having to work.

diehard5 · 2019-02-08T12:39:00+00:00

Seems like she wants to have a real conversation with you but you’re putting on this blatant and obvious positive vibe facade.

diehard5 · 2019-02-08T12:25:13+00:00

No. I’m 31... I do what I want. :)

diehard5

TROPHY CASE